Furthermore, we cannot give information on sexual technique. In our guidelines, it is explicitly stated that questions about sexual technique are not permitted:
quote: Scarleteen cannot and will not answer questions which pertain to sexual technique or illegal activity, and posts which request such material will be closed or deleted, which includes, but is not limited to, such questions and subjects as:
* How to perform specific sexual activities (i.e., "How do I give a blow job?" "What are some new sexual positions?") * Illegal drug use or drug abuse (including alcohol use under the legal drinking age) * Illegal or patently unsafe sexual activities (i.e, bestiality, statutory rape, incest, purposefully transmitting disease or infection, etc.)
Only you and your partner can decide what you want in a relationship. Try sitting down with her and discussing the topic with her in order to clear things up. But remember, be very, very careful if you are going to practicing BDSM play.
------------------ Ash Scarleteen Advocate
"If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming." --Goethe
Also, if you decide to experiment with BDSM play of any sort, it is very important that you mutually pick a "safeword" that either of you can use if things get too intense. Please DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER doing BDSM without a safeword.
A safeword can be anything, as long as it's not something you're likely to normally say during sexual activity. For instance, mine is "asparagus".
Keep in mind too, BDSM is about trust and exploration, not about cruelty or abuse. The article Ashy linked to has some excellent references, and I'd strongly suggest that both of you read up on the issue before beginning any play.
Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
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