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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » I am sorry this is the deal

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Author Topic: I am sorry this is the deal
Curiousgirl
Neophyte
Member # 5494

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I know this is not a like a dating website but this is the deal. I was in a year and a half relationship with this girl and I love her with all my heart but we hurt each other so much so we aren't together anymore and there is this guy who wants to be with more then anything but guys really don't appeal to me anymore. It has really been scaring me because I am only a Junior and I am trying to figure out if i am bi or lez and that is the hardest thing. I want to see how it is with another girl but like i said it is so hard to find anyone here. I am not the type of person to just go up to someone and be like are you straight or not. Online just seems so much easier and I don't know how to find any groups around here because I know somehow my parents would find out and that would just start a lot of problem at home. That is why I was asking if there was anyway to meet people in my area that you know of because I am kinda stuck and I don't know how to approach other girls because I don't know if they are bi or whatever. I just want to be happy overall and guys don't give that to me so I am asking for your help.
Posts: 2 | From: st pete, fl, usa | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Know what, sweetheart? No one but you can really make you happy, regardless of their gender.

I agree that it sounds like you need to find some peers and like-mindedd folks who are either ppossiblities for relationships, or at least foplks you can talk to about bisexual or homosexual relationships.

In terms of online resources, chat rooms, organizations, etc., take a look at the links in the Gaydar links page right here: http://www.scarleteen.com/gaydar/resources.html

But do be sure you're aware that figuring out your orientation is something that really begins and ends with you, not by finding one person and them BOOM -- you know you're gay or bisexual or heterosexual or what have you. And it's no hurry -- these things take time. For now, just do what feels right for you, BUT if you;re seeking others out of sheer loneliness, you might want to reevaluate if now is really a good time for you to be looking to forge new romances. In general, when we're needy is the vvery worst time to start somethiung new, especially if we have security issues about aspects of the relationship to begin with.

I'd suggest rather than looking for folks to date right now, you look for peers to talk to about these issues. Start there first. It'll be a far more solid and sounder way to feel your way around this terrain. besides, no one likes to feel like an experiment.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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