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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » A real crisis/emergency! Help me please!

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Author Topic: A real crisis/emergency! Help me please!

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Oh god I'm so confused... see... i think i was raped back in january...

we had just gotten through having sex.. i was wearing a lingerie piece and i had been drinking kind of heavily and taking some yellow jackets... i had panties on and i rolled over on my side just so I wouldnt have to see the TV...i fell asleep...

i woke up with him rubbing and feeling on me, everywhere... and he had an erection... i noticed my panties off and a little bit of cum on my leg...i didnt think anything of it. thought maybe he had just gotten some on me by accident earlier.. well.. he then told me that he had to "hit it" but he knew i would be mad so he didnt... it got me to thinking late that night.. and i asked him about it... i asked if he did put it in me.. he said... just a little bit... well.. it kind of made me feel angry... but then he started rubbing on me again and i had sex with him.. with protection...

my question is... was i actually raped???

please help me.. please... i know this is a waste of bandwidth... but this is a real emergency.. please respond


An Evanescent Beauty That Will Never Flee

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Executive Director & Founder
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Who is "he"? That information is a bit vital, honey.

In all honesty, it is impossible for any third party to guess what happened in an incident, especially if you were so inebriated you don't know, which is why we do not suggest getting that far gone to begin with.

My guess is -- from the information I have -- that it is not likely you were raped. However, the easy answer to this question is to ask whoever "he" is i what happened, though if that wasn't a ppressing issue in January, my guess is that rape is not an issue here.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lisa D
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Honestly, it all sounded a little convuluted to me, but if he said "yes" when you asked him if he put his penis in you without you knowing/without your consent, I would say yes, you Might have been raped. However, I would speak to him, and ask him very directly.

Honestly, I also have to say that this probably could have been avoided if you weren't mixing alcohol and drugs - that is a dangerous game to play.

If you go to the "resources" section at the top of the page, there is a wealth of information about how to find counseling resources in your area. Or, if you prefer, find a trusted adult, such as a teacher or clergyman, you can speak to about how you feel. Also, the "crisis hotline" section at the left has information, as well as some personal perspectives, on rape and abuse.

good luck with whatever you decide to do!

[This message has been edited by Lisa D (edited 08-24-2001).]

Posts: 442 | From: Dublin, OH USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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One last note, is that while you may want to seek counsel like Lisa said (and it's nice to just have someone to talk to anyway, but specifically about this), I don't think you'd be able to press charges. I'd guess that it's too late to take legal action, especially considering you were drinking, and especially because it would just be your word against his since it's too late to gather any substancial evidence.

My suggestion to you would be to ask him straight up and decide what you want to do about this. Finding someone to talk to is a great thing, but if it didn't matter to you in Jan, why would it matter now? Be happy with the boyfriend you have now


Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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