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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » Playing with gender expression; questions about pierced ears

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Author Topic: Playing with gender expression; questions about pierced ears
moon_goddess
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I would be interested in hearing from a variety of people on this topic. I am female and mostly present as female, if a not very feminine one. When I was younger, I wanted pierced ears and my parents wouldn't let me. Around 14 or so, they didn't care anymore, but neither did I, and so I've never gotten them pierced.

I want to see if I can make progress in figuring out where I want to be on the gender identity/expression spectrum, and so I thought I would try this very outwardly feminine sign of getting my ears pierced and see if it jives with me or feels horribly wrong. Either way that would be progress.

1) I'm afraid of needles. How much will it hurt?

2) If I hate having them pierced and I let them close, will there be lumps in my earlobes from the scar tissue? Are there ways to avoid that?

3) Do you make judgments about people and whether or not they have their ears pierced or wear certain types of earrings? What sort of assumptions do you make about people (genderqueer/female/male) who do/do not have their ears pierced? Does it depend on their gender?

Feel free to answer any/all of these. Thank you for being part of my journey to explore my identity.

Posts: 48 | From: Northern Hemisphere | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
OhImpecuniousOne
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1) It hurts a bit but not too much, and it's over very quickly. When I had mine done, the fear of pain was much worse than the actual pain. [Razz] You also can't see what's going on, which helps me when it comes to needles.

2) Dunno.

3) In terms of lobe piercings, I suppose the stereotype is that two lobes pierced = woman, one lobe pierced = man. When you get into cartilage piercings and plugs, there aren't any gender norms that I know of. But really, earrings aren't a major part of how I read someone - and if they're not actually wearing any earrings, and just have holes, I usually don't even notice. In fact, what style of earrings someone is wearing is much more significant to my perception of them than the fact that they are wearing some.

If you're unsure and just want to see how they look on you, maybe try clip-on earrings for a while, or those plastic gemstone stickers you can get to go on nails? Clip-ons tend to hurt after a few hours, but you could wear them to go out; the stickers wouldn't look quite so much like earrings close up, but from a couple of feet away they should look just like studs.

Posts: 116 | From: UK | Registered: Apr 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moon_goddess
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Thanks for your reply!

I have actually tried clip-ons before and they get really painful, like you said, after an hour or two. I do really like how they look, though, which is why I'm still pondering ear piercing. I also have a set of magnetic studs that I've tried, but studs just aren't me.

Posts: 48 | From: Northern Hemisphere | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Molias
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I do think it's becoming more common for people of various genders to get both ears pierced. Some of it is related to ear stretching, but in general it seems less likely, at least in the areas I've spent time in the last few years, for men to predominantly get one lobe piercing. It does still happen! Just not as universally as it once seemed to, as far as I can tell.

In terms of the piercing itself, it does hurt, sure, but a good piercer will be quick and it honestly isn't that painful, for the most part. I've hurt more stubbing my toe badly - I think the tough part is that pain that you can anticipate is more intimidating.
For many people, if they decide to let a piercing close up it'll do so pretty well if it hasn't been stretched at all, but that really depends on a person's skin elasticity and other factors; it's hard to determine. There are things you can do, like frequent jojoba/Vitamin E oil rubs, to break down scar tissue if you do find that there's some that's visible or that you can feel.

Posts: 1352 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jan 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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