I'm really confused. Most of the time, I'm perfectly happy being what I was born as, a girl. For a while when I was younger, I dressed in a way that led to some people thinking I was a boy. I found I was perfectly happy with this, and had a tendency to, if the other kids asked "Are you a boy or a girl?" which happened a fair bit, reply "Doesn't matter." Recently, (The last year or so) I've noticed that on occasion, I feel like being a girl just doesn't... fit. I don't know how to describe it, really. It doesn't happen often, maybe once every two months or so. I'm really confused. I've never quite understood how I fit, though I was a lot more comfortable with it as a kid. I was bullied a lot, so one more thing they teased me about didn't seem that odd. Now, I'm in high school, and the divisions about what's acceptable for gals to do and what's acceptable for guys to do are getting more and more obvious, and I keep finding myself somewhere on the sidelines, unsure of how to act. On top of all this, I have major problems with self-esteem. These issues are always worse on the days I feel like a male identity Ďfitsí better; I have several typically female traits (wide hips and narrower waist, large chest) as well as a few typically male traits (broad shoulders, square jaw) but one the days I feel a male identity fits best I canít help but fixate on the typically female traits, and feel uncomfortable with them. Iíve heard of things like the new gender workbook, but I a) canít afford them, and b) canít find them in shops or libraries in my area anyways, as I live in a fairly small town. I donít know what to do with any of these feelings. Is there something wrong with me?
Posts: 2 | From: Canada | Registered: Apr 2014
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Doesn't sound like there is anything wrong with you to me. Just sounds like you are either still feeling out what gender identity feels right to you - and there is never a right answer to this, just like there is not one right answer when it comes to sexual orientation, just diversity - or like you may be finding you feel agender or bigender.
Per books you want at the library, have you requested them? Often what is not in one branch is is another, and libraries move books from branch to branch constantly due to requests.
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