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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » Fear and frustration

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Author Topic: Fear and frustration
coralee
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Member # 43628

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I am having some difficulty thinking about an upcoming appointment I have to make for OBGYN care. The way I would like to describe myself is that I have the body of a woman, but my gender identity is not female, rather it is more like genderqueer or even masculine. I do not try to pass as male, but I definitely do not look femme. I understand how important getting pelvic exams, etc. is for me, and the doctor I see is in general a good doctor and seems sensitive to GLBT "issues", but I still feel worried because I don't want to be "talked through" the procedure, I don't want to be reassured that "it's going to be ok", I want it to be just like any other routine procedure, say getting a dental checkup, a procedure completely void of any considerations of femininity or masculinity. Has anyone else felt this way, or have any advice for me?
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Heather
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Member # 3

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I think there are plenty of people that feel that way for a host of different reasons, gender identity certainly being one of them, but not just for that reason.

It sounds like you like your doctor and know them to be sensitive around this. How about walking into your appointment and voicing these needs and preferences? It seems to be that doing that will make it highly likely you'll get the approach you want.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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coralee
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Thank you Heather, I'm also a fan of the direct approach, and it will probably work for this situation!
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I think it's safe to say that most healthcare providers are, too. So many people, obviously, want so many different things with their care that when someone makes clear what they want, that helps that person out by not putting them in a position where they have to guess or try and intuit.

Mind, a good provider will usually be pretty good at that, but you know how it is: reading body language is hardly as easy as responding to clear words.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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