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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » My response to: Boys Do Cry: How To Deal With a Breakup Like a Man

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Author Topic: My response to: Boys Do Cry: How To Deal With a Breakup Like a Man
Coffee_and_Chocolate
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Honestly, my face lit up when I found this article. I think you guys honestly did a great job on putting this together. I remember looking at different teen books that delt with internal issues. I speculate about one in fifty (maybe less) delt with male characters and their topics of interest, including insights on romance and struggles with self-esteem. I remember watching Degrassi. There is a character named Claire on the show that had a comment to make when a meeting was set up with the girls that went to the boiling room with the boys and did sexual things with them. The boys that displayed those kind of actions did not get offered counseling. She says, "Why do only the girls have to go down there?" I could take this two ways: Why is not okay for girls but okay to let the boys slip?, and, Why are guys feelings about sex and self-esteem not acknowledged?

I was peeved about what the girls had to say about boys. Their comments were a bit sexist in my opinion like "boys only think with their d--ks." One my mom said, "Men are stupid. All they're good for is fixing my pipes anyway." This one made me especially angry. I told my mom, "We just don't understand them." The boys always ask me why "you girls" always think of this way or always do it that way. With the gender we identify as and the things that are a part of those identities and (sometimes genetic makeups), we sometimes very little understand the opposite side. Sometimes, even though women wore seen as inferior back then, I think we need to strive to meet the needs not only in general equality, but handle the problems of all genders. Sometimes, we stress the inequality with women a bit too much and don't stop to think about the boys and other genders out there that need the understanding.
I was sitting in class one day and I noticed one of my friends was getting very angry because the boys larger than him were picking on him (calling him fag, loser, etc.). Most of my friends that are girls will get up and tell the person how they feel or sometimes they'll just ignore it (or in my case, since I am not real extroverted and don't know how to deal with people). I could tell that he was angry and didn't like the way that they were treating him, but if he said something, they would lash him with more insults. He is more open and even the girls laugh at him. My other friends that are guys feel that instead of talking they have to beat the tar out of each other. Even if biology plays a role on how we handle our emotions, we still have the ability to talk. I know that we are always going to handle things differently depending on our biological make up and gender identity, but we all should have the right to convey our emotions clearly and consisely. Which leads me to another thing. The self-esteem groups are only for girls in my shcool. I think we should have all girls, an all boy group, a general group for all genders, and a transgender group in our schools to make it fair for everyone to be open about their feelings.

Lines said in movies and shows that somehow stress this topic. SHE'S TOO YOUNG, a lifetime film about girls and boys having sex and a huge syphilis chain: The main male character's mother said that girls were not the only victims in the acts and pressures of sex. Girls can be just as agressive as boys and to think of how boys feel on the subject. CYBER SEDUCTION: HIS SECRET LIFE, another Lifetime film about a boy who becomes addicted to pornography. A girl he lusts for puts him in a compromising position and tries to pressure him into sex, getting angry at him when he says he's not ready for those kinds of things. THE WONDER YEARS, an eighties and ninties TV show. A character named Paul finally has the guts to talk about what he did with a girl and how he felt about her with the main character Kevin. Paul expressed that he wondered how she felt about him and how dark and confusing a relationship--romantic and physical can be. There are some more I could list as well! The ninteen eighties and ninties were highlights for shows dealing with boys' issues--bullying, romance, sex, socialising, etc. That has suddenly died out a little--a lot, and as we are shedding light on topics people were afraid to venture in the yesteryear and before, I think both boys and girls are taking hard hits in many different aspects. I am not saying that girls don't have issues. I am simply saying that boys do--even in the emotional department, besides anger and bullying-- and people don't acknowledge them enough. We are still trying to understand the world, but we need to try our best to look in all directions.

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eh.

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Daki
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Totally agreeeeee sis!!

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I am a fail waiting to epically win.

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Djuna
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Hells to the yeah! [Smile] It bugs me how in our society (well, this is something I've observed in both the US and the UK) men aren't often portrayed as having emotions and so on. It's awesome whenever someone says or writes something that reminds me that we totally do. Thanks so much!

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

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Daki
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No matter....(My sister wrote this...Coffee_and_Chocolate) I think we stress women's problems a bit too much, and while we think we are creating equality, we're ommiting men's problems almost entirely... [Big Grin]

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I am a fail waiting to epically win.

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Daki
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I rather like the article as well. [Smile] I am sorry for saying we stress women's problems too much...this came out completely wrong [Frown]

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I am a fail waiting to epically win.

Posts: 34 | From: USA | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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