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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » Planning Transition

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Author Topic: Planning Transition
Deborah_20
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Member # 46220

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So, after alot of soul searching, and asking myself alot of tough questions, and really having the bravery to answer them truthfully, I've come to the conclusion that I need to transition, from male to female. I know it won't be easy, and I know I might lose people close to me, but it's the only way I can see myself being happy in the long run. Now I'm thinking about how I should plan this out, and am looking for advice in that department. Now I'm going to school after the new year, and that is going to be my main focus for the time being, since that will allow me to pay for all of this, but I do want to start this relatively soon. Now I have a few questions I'm hopping to get answered, like how much do you think this whole thing is going to cost, I know SRS will be the most expensive, but what about other expenses? Also how much does storing sperm usually cost, because I do want to have kids one day. Any tips for coming out to people close to me, and what to do if things go badly? What effects will hormones have on my body, and how long will it take for those effects to happen? What should I expect sex to be like after SRS?
I know these are a lot of questions, and I do plan on looking these things up on my own, but I was hoping to post them here, and get some reliable information here.
Thanks in advance.

Posts: 18 | From: Atlanta | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Hey, Deborah: I'm glad that you're feeling like you know the right direction for you. Were you ever able to connect with one of the trans-friendly therapists I linked you to in your area?

If not, that's really going to be the best place to start and the best place to ask a lot of these questions. Therapy does also need to happen to qualify for SRS, and often for hormone therapies, and I'd generally advise it anyway. I don't say that because I think you have any kind of illness, but because a) the therapy is required for some parts of transitioning anyway, and b) not having at least one good source of sound, in-person support when you're going through something so huge would just be seriously sucky.

Coast-wise, this process is kind of a lot like getting an in-the-box vacation where you can add things on or not, depending on what you want. If you only do talk therapy and hormone therapy, it'll cost one amount. If you add in things like top surgery, bottom surgeries, surgery to your throat, electrolysis, voice lessons, new clothes, ... then it's obviously going to cost more, in a pretty huge range. Ballpark? Probably anywhere from $10,000 to $50,000, depending on what you choose to do and what, if anything, your insurance will cover if you are insured.

Cryobanking, I believe, costs a grand or so, then there are the costs of monthly storage of the sperm.

I feel like the questions about sex after SRS and hormones are not only hard to answer, but also WAY ahead of the game. Not only do I not know what your SRS will entail, if you're figuring you'll do bottom surgery, that's likely many years down the road for you. As well, that's just a really tricky thing to answer since sex is so much more about our brains and nervous systems than about anything else, so the best generalization I can give is that for someone who very much does not feel a match with the sex they were assigned and birth and transitions, after transitioning, sex will probably feel better for you, though considering on what, if any, bottom surgery you have, it might be a while before you can have some kinds of genital sex.

Here are a couple links for you about estrogen and anti-androgen therapies:
• http://www.ohio.edu/lgbt/resources/transoptions.cfm
• http://www.susans.org/reference/hormones/estherap.html
• http://www.4cnrs-transgender-meds.com/

On the piece about coming out to others. can you clue me in a little about what your life is like now with the people around you? is there anyone you suspect will be very supportive? Anyone you suspect will be unsupportive?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Deborah_20
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No I haven't been able to contact any of the therapist's you linked me to, I really want to, but I still have no way to pay for it, and they are all pretty far away for me to go see them by myself. I'm about an hour outside of Atlanta. Maybe I can send you my zip code, and you can link me to some closer to me? I know I'll be able to go to them sooner then the one's in Atlanta.
Thanks for the links, and about insurance, as long as it covers regular therapy it should cover gender therapy as well right? Also do you know if the new healthcare bill says anything about trans medicine?

Regarding in coming out to my family, I'll be honest with you, my family has been through all kinds of hell the past two years, and my transitioning might not be the most shocking thing that has happened to us in the past two years. I think my mom, and my sister would have my back, but my dad might be a problem. Though my relationship with him isn't all that great to begin with, because he is the one who put us through all of this crap. Also my dad's side of the family probably won't be too accepting. But I think my mom's side would be accepting, since I do have a gay cousin, and most everybody is accepting of him. Though, being transgender, and gay are two different things.
I'm really worried about my friends though, because I've met most of my friends through sports, and I really don't know if they will accept this.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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If they're not listed on that list, chances are I won't have a referral to give you. However, what you CAN do is call some of them on that list and ask two things: 1) for a referral closer to you and 2) for anyone who may provide discounts, which plenty of therapists will, especially those who serve trans people and know who financially taxed most are due to the costs of transitioning.

I haven't seen anything at all in the new healthcare bill about trans medicine, and I don't expect to. So far, so much of that bill SO throws women under the bus, and all women. So, I know that's crap news, and makes me angry, but I wouldn't expect to see that kind of cultural recognition for trans people's needs in policy like that for a LONG time. [Frown]

Per your own insurance: yes, if it covers therapy, it should cover therapy for this purpose, too!

I am glad to hear that it sounds like you will have the support of at least some family members, including some immediate family. I probably don't have to tell you how rare that is. That is GREAT. Is there anyone you feel would be supportive enough that you could talk to now so that you don't feel so isolated and can start to get some support?

(Sorry to hear about your friends. here's the good news though: it sounds like you're heading to college soon, which means that you probably would not have carried through most of your HS friendships regardless, and you get to make whole new friends, friends you have the option of being out to right from the start if you like.)

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Deborah_20
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Member # 46220

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Okay thanks, I'll definitely call one of them for a referral closer to me. I just hope there is one out here.

And I kind of figured about the health care bill, I was just being hopeful by asking.

Well that's good, all I need now is insurance. haha

Yeah, I don't know if I'm at that stage yet, and I think alot of people's reactions are going to be of hesitation, and being scared for me. And then slowly coming around once they realize I'll be the same person, only happier. It's not something I think they would be immediately supportive of. Maybe my mom would, but I kind of want to have a solid plan in front of me regarding transition before I tell someone about this.

And I'm definitely going to try to look up some LGBT groups at my new school.

Posts: 18 | From: Atlanta | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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