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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » I just don't get it!

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Author Topic: I just don't get it!
Member # 37106

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I recently broke up with my boyfriend, but it ended on good terms and all in all, I'm not too upset about it. That, however, isn't the problem. I have this friend, Jackson, who has become my best friend.

Well, Jackson likes another girl. They're not technically dating, but he wants them to be. However, a few weeks ago we were talking and he kept touching his hand to mine, as if he were going to grab it, and when he hugged me, it felt very intimate, like the way you'd hug a partner. I was a little freaked out because he'd never done anything like that to me before.

I convinced myself it was nothing, and forgot about it, until one night we were talking with another friend, and he kept rubbing my back and playing with my hair. She even made a comment about how she'd never seen him do anything like that, and he seemed like he was flirting with me. She asked him, and he denied it (which he probably would do no matter what).

However, now, just a little over a week later, he is completely obsessed with his "girlfriend". We ran into her and he was so terrified she'd be mad, even though we weren't doing anything. He doesn't really make any physical contact with me anymore, and even at times seems to go out of his way to avoid it. I was leaning against him, falling asleep (we often do things like this, it wasn't out of the ordinary), he seemed to be trying to touch me as little as possible.

The more I think about it, the more I realize how much I like him as more than a friend. And it doesn't help that this girl definitely doesn't treat him right. I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship though.

But the big question is, was I just imagining the intimacy? It definitely felt strange as he was doing it, but suddenly he's stopped. Am I just his back-up when he has troubles with this girl?
Should I assume he meant nothing by what happened and forget about it, or is it justified to have a crush on him?

Posts: 32 | From: Earth | Registered: Feb 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Well, first of all, we never need to be 'justified' in our feelings. If you have a crush on him, than that's how it is, and those kinds of feelings can come about regardless of whether we feel that the other person returns our feelings.

But as for your other questions, there is only one person who can answer those, and that is your friend. Have you spoken to him at all about his behaviour? If not, he's the person to talk to if you want to find out what he feels for you.

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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