Hello. My name is, well, for now just call me Confused, hehe. I'm fourteen, yes, young, I know. Recently, as puberty has hit, I suppose, I have begun to have a really odd feeling. I have become very into fashion and makeup, I dress pretty girly, but I really want a penis. In my own words, I'm kind of like a gay guy inside a woman's body. I support NOH8, and I have become quite interested in the "coming out" stories of gay men. I love gay guys, I feel sort of an emotional attachment to them. It's like I totally relate to them. At the same time, I am super attracted to them as well. My parents have taken note of my recent, what they call "obsession" with gay men. They have asked me recently if I was gay, because they can't seem to understand why I would be so fascinated with gay men. I am NOT gay. I have never, EVER had any sort of attraction to a woman. I do often look at gay porn; it's a real turn on for me. I have tried putting a sock in my pants to see what it would feel like to actually have a penis, and I really enjoyed it. The problem is, I would never want to get any sort of a sex change when I get older, because the thought of altering my body so drastically scares me a little. I have never told any of this to my parents, because I'm afraid I'll freak them out, or disapoint them even. I wish I could just be the normal girl I used to be, I don't understand what's happening to me. Please, can someone tell me what's going on? Thank you so much!
-------------------- soconfusedxo Posts: 2 | From: x | Registered: Mar 2010
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Just so you know, not everyone who is transgender or genderqueer chooses to have a surgical transition, partial or complete. Some trans or genderqueer people don't do hormone therapy, either. Some don't do any kind of transition at all. What people choose when it comes to transitioning is very individual (but also often influenced by what a person can afford and practically manage).
It sounds like you feel uncomfortable with the feelings you're having. Do you want to talk about what makes you feel uncomfortable with them?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63244 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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I feel the exact same way. Word for word, that's what I feel. And it's a relief to know that I'm not the only one. I've done some random research, and apparently there is a sort of term/label thing for it. Yeah, I know labels are for soup cans, not people, but I just want to be able to call what I feel something and know I'm not the only one going through it.
I can assure y'all are definitely not alone in your feelings! I think that confusion and even experiencing some uncomfortable feelings is normal for people of ALL genders and sexualities. So when you add in something that isn't the straight guy/girl type of sexuality or feelings, that confusion and uncomfortability can get even more messy for some of us.
magewhisper, that Wikipedia article points to just two of the many different gender identities that people who have these feelings might take on, but it does show that there are a LOT of folks out there experiencing some of the same stuff.
You gotta remember that no matter what we've been taught, there really is no such thing as "normal." What we feel is what's normal for us. And it's normal for a lot of other people, too and you'll probably meet a whole lot of them in a few years!
Posts: 6 | From: Brooklyn, NY | Registered: Jan 2010
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I know what you mean! I've tried telling people but they always say, "Cant you just be a straight girl?", as if there isn't the slightest difference.
Posts: 7 | From: Earth, | Registered: Jul 2010
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