You're heterosexual, so you're into women. Presumably, you probably also like seeing women be sexual and passionate. There, in that scenario, are two women being passionate: two of your likes, times two.
Why might making out or oil-massage be more arousing to you than other kinds of sex? Perhaps it's easier to imagine yourself in the picture when we're just talking about making out? Perhaps that looks more like your fantasy of women being together or being with you?
I don't see a reason to feel ashamed about this, by the way. It's very common.
Certainly, if you're doing things like not understanding -- or enabling others not to -- that women who want to be together aren't together for your entertainment, are enabling invisibility of women's relationships with each other or trying to insert yourself (literally) into them, that's stuff to take a look at and work to stop doing, as that is problematic. If you're giving people the idea that lesbianism is about bikinis and oil-baths, also a problem (since it's not, even though women who love women may well sometimes kiss in bikinis or engage in oil massages: however, they/we also may smooch when wearing ratty old pajamas, have sex in a way that you don't feel is "beautiful" and also have other parts of their/our relationships which aren't about sex at all). But what goes on in your head or what you feel aroused by and fantasize about in your head isn't going to do anyone any harm.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 67055 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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