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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » I'm so lost-help?

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Author Topic: I'm so lost-help?
KenRakuu
Neophyte
Member # 38321

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I'm 16-years old, I hate to identify as a Gender becuase I consider my self...either or, it really depends, about 89% of the time I'm a boy, I'm all male and I'm straight as an arrow, except sometimes I'm a girl and I dig guys. And sometimes, the most confusing part, I feel like a boy, and I like boys.

My body is female, I'm currently in a female/female relationship. But I hate being labeled a lesbian, becuase I don't feel like a girl.

I've just learned the term "Bi gender"
that's probably hit me dead on.

I've been taking birth control and trying to figure out how to bind my breast for a while. TO help not feel so feminine. (not menstruating ext)

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I still feel lost in my own skin.

Posts: 2 | From: Below the Sofa and above the ceiling fan, USA | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KenRakuu
Neophyte
Member # 38321

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I was just wondering if anyone could help me ease up some of this lost feeling, and me just hating not knowing what I am. sometimes I wish my breasts where bigger and I was more feminine and sometimes I wish they where all the way gone.

if anyone can give me any advice I'd be much obliged

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I still feel lost in my own skin.

Posts: 2 | From: Below the Sofa and above the ceiling fan, USA | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
strawberrywine
Neophyte
Member # 37366

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Wow, I really felt like this around that age, too. It's only now that I've realized a lot of my issues came from what everyone around me told me being a girl was supposed to be, and the fact that I wasn't that at all. I've started accepting myself, being proud of who I am as a person, and at least starting to feel confident in saying that yes, I am a woman.

I'm not saying that these are the same things that make you feel the way you do though. I probably shouldn't give you much advice, because I'm just a "neophyte" here, but I really want to tell you to take a deep breath a slow down. I mean, I did a lot of growing from the time I was 16 to now. A lot of realization about myself came from, well, myself, not anyone else around me. At the same time, I probably would've been better off if I had someone I could really talk to. It's hard to do, but you really should just ignore the labels people will put on you. If you like your girlfriend, then just go on that.

It's just eery how similar this feels.

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"Who's to say that love needs to be soft and gentle?"
-Dr. Twardon (Secretary)

Posts: 28 | From: Michigan | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Ken: do you perhaps want to talk about what your ideas about both or either gender are? About what you feel like you're "supposed" to feel like as either a woman or a man?

Have you been having these feelings only recently, or through most of your life? Do you feel like you were raised with any ideas or impressions that it's either better or worse to be male or female?

It sounds to me like you're feeling pretty confused right now, and like some days one gender feels like home, and then at another time, another does, and that neither really feels like a place you can identify with, or feel happy with your place as.

[ 05-06-2008, 09:11 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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