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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » dads being more involved with families

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Author Topic: dads being more involved with families
Member # 28780

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I thought this was cool!

What do you guys and gals think?

Does a man who stays at home to be more involved with his family lose some if not all of his masculinity (the old stereotype)?

[ 10-06-2007, 10:52 AM: Message edited by: fallchild ]

"It's better to die on your feet than live down on your knees"

Posts: 117 | From: SLC, UT | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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I think it's really sad when masculinity is defined as being as separate from your family as possible. That kind of thinking isn't just about man = work, woman = caregiver. It also is about masculinity being about being emotionally and physically distanced from love and children.

So sad.

You know, for the earliest part of my childhood, because my father was resisting the draft, and my mother wanted to keep working on her mursing career, I was raised by my father, and I'm glad as hell that was the case. That isn't to say that somehow things wouldn't have been as good if it was my mother at home, or both parents at home. Rather, what I'm saying is that I most certainly never grew up with the idea that only women are caregivers or are loving and present, and that I could make a very long list of all of the benefits to me as a child and an adult that came from having my earliest caregiver not only being my Dad, but being a Dad who would have rolled his eyes at the idea that he was less "manly" for being with me, or that he should even give a poop about how "manly" he was.

Nice topic! [Smile]

[ 10-06-2007, 04:00 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 28394

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Well, "masculinity", if all it really means is that you can't be caring or communicate, then I think we can do without it.

But inevitably, masculinity, manliness is just how society defines men, it's how we differentiate. And if men really are engaging more with their own children, and this deemed unmanly, then what it must really mean is not that men are exiting masculinity into caring, but that masculinity is shifting with them... men are manly, if men are changing so is manliness.

It feels like socially we've made up strange standards, but are punishing ourselves for disagreeing with them! Which is absurd when really we could annul them.

(ooh and yeah it is good topic!)

Jacob - my Scarleteen Blog - Please help sustain scarleteen

Posts: 633 | From: Bedfordshire, UK | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 35801

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I didn't see the website it didn't show up. I think that it is very cool when poeple trade places as long as the wife is fine w/ it. This way men and women get a feel for both sides. They can't be sexest!

Puppy smoocher

Posts: 8 | From: Mac area Oregon | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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"Masculinity" is just a social construct. I don't like how men are made to feel inferior to other men when they adopt traditionally "Feminine" habits such as cooking or childcare because they're just occupations//hobbies!! Guys can be loving and nurturing while women can be auto mechanics and CEO's... It all depends on the person... It hurts society when we force people into boxes based upon something as trivial as what they have between their legs because then we're making them do things that might not put their skills and inclinations to their best use.

For example, I'm mechanically inclined, but I don't have great social skills... Should I be a receptionist, or should I work on cars? Well, I'd prefer cars and I think I'd excel there but it'd be really hard to get a job as a mechanic since I'm a woman!! So, there, skills not being employed over sex stereotypes.

Posts: 25 | From: Atlanta | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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