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Author Topic: Confused
13leafclovers
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Member # 32620

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Hullo everyone, I'm new here. I'll keep this short.

I'm pretty sure that, physically, I like guys. However, I've had crushes on girls at school many times, and I've fantasized about romantic relationships with them. What's going on?

The other problem is, while my parents are both very intelligent, open-minded people, they are EXTREMELY prejudiced against homosexuals; it may be a cultural thing. I'm afraid that coming out to them will be an ugly experience, to say the least, so I've carefully concealed the fact that I might not be heterosexual from them. Any advice?

Posts: 8 | From: Canada | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
nixieGurl
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There really is no need for you to be coming out to your parents about these feelings right now, especially when you are still unsure about what you are feeling and are not sure if they would react in a manner that is supportive for you.

There is nothing wrong with what you are feeling, and if you are okay with what you are feeling I would suggest just going with what feels good to you. You dont have to only be attracted to men or only to women, there are really no rules to it. So, just go with what makes you happy, and don't worry about telling your parents right now. Perhaps there is another adult or just someone else you trust to talk to, if you feel that you would like to talk to someone about what you are feeling?

Posts: 657 | From: NZ | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
13leafclovers
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Thanks for the advice. I guess I'll be fine with my parents for now, but let's say a girl expresses interest in a relationship with me and I like her as a person. Should I turn her down because I don't know whether I'll be sexually attracted to her or not?
Posts: 8 | From: Canada | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
curiosity13
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I would recommend being honest with the girl. I would tell her that you are a little bit confused right now about your sexual orientation, and then just take it from there. You don't have to immediately start up a relationship, you can spend more time together and see how you feel about things.
Posts: 21 | From: Chicago | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Selkie
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I agree with curiosity up to a point. If you know the girl well, or are good friends with her, then I would definatly talk. However, if you really don't know her, or don't really feel comfortable around her, I would wait until you've sorted out how you are feeling.

That came out confused.. sorry.

--------------------
"Fear is the mind-killer"
-Don't be afraid.

Posts: 117 | From: I'd prefer to keep it private | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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