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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » Need Clarifying

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Author Topic: Need Clarifying
Member # 32353

Icon 5 posted      Profile for qez0199     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I shall attempt to keep this short. I am male. I have never had a girlfriend as I am generally extremely uncomfortable with girls in my age group. However, I have no problem connecting with and being around guys. I check out everybody, male or female, that catches my eye. When I look at or read Erotica, I nearly always identify with the female involved- that is to say, I put myself in her place and think "If I were a girl..." That said, I am attracted to girls, and I think I am just very uncomfortable around them, if an attractive girl walks in to the room I'm in, I try to make a hasty exit. I have talked in-depth with my uncle, eight years older than I am, who I am very close to, and he is exactly the same way and he said that it is probably a phase. But if it's a phase and he's 25 shouldn't he be out of it by now? And if it is a phase, what should I do to get through it, cause evidently, he can't help me with this one. I hope this made some sense.

Dying is easy, It's the living that's hard

Posts: 1 | From: Midwest | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 30506

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Could you be uncomfortable because you are unsure whether you are attracted to females in a sexual way or not?

Also would there be any chance of this uncle being gay but does not want for you to feel you *have* to be gay because you feel the same way and so he is suggesting it is a phase for you?

I think it's completely natural to be 'uncomfortable' in the nervous sense around the opposite sex. I also think that it could also be that you are not comfortable when it comes to relationships with girls and thats why you feel this way.

Carpe diem!

Posts: 15 | From: Ireland | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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One thing that's important with issues like this is to rewmember that gender identity and sexual orientation are two different things. Interrelated, yes: but different things.

What our experiences are in terms of how we feel about our gender, how we identify with gender aren't about who we're attracted to sexually: that's about orientation.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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