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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » Genderqueer?

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Author Topic: Genderqueer?
Member # 30521

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I am personally not genderqueer but I have a friend who I think might be and I just wanted to ask a few questions about what it means to be gender queer. First let me give you a little background.

A couple of months ago my best friend came to me and admitted that the thing she wanted most in life was to be a guy. She said she hated the helpless feeling she had as a girl and in general didn't enjoy being female. She asked me to start calling her by a male name and to refer to her as a he. I was a bit confused but I accepted her and did what she asked without too many questions, I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. She did tell me that she didn't _feel_ like a guy on the inside but she desperately wanted to be one. My question is, does this make her genderqueer or would she have to feel like she was a guy in a girls body? Also, is there a difference between genderqueer and transgendered? Your opinion and any information on transgendered/ gender queer people would be very helpful, thanks.

Posts: 21 | From: U.S. | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Genderqueer is a sort of umbrella term. Some people use it to describe all types of variant gender identities (which then, would include being transgender), whereas others use it to describe gender identity which is neither trans nor is it cisgendered: gender identity "in line with" biological sex, or cultural ideas and notions about roles and appearance and behaviour of those of a given biological sex.

Transgender is about full-time gender dysphoria, where a person very acutely feels that their gender is dinstinctly unmatched with their biological sex. For the record, sexual reassignment surgery or therapies generally are NOT provided for those who simply want a different social status than the one they have with a given sex, which is what your friend's primary issues seem to be.

There's no criteria for determining if someone is or is not genderqueer: it's a self-chosen identity. So, if your best friend has said genderqueer is the ID they wish to use, then lo, your best friend is genderqueer. It's a tricky thing to address, because a lot of what your friend seems to be saying is that she just is not liking living life as a woman in our culture, which is an experience a lot of women have, obviously.

Sounds like you're handling it perfectly, addressing your friend as he is asking to be addressed.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 30521

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Thanks for that, it definitely cleared some things up!

On a side note would it be possible to move this thread to the gender issues board? I meant to put it there but for some reason I accidently stuck it here.

Posts: 21 | From: U.S. | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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