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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » masterbating... right or wrong??? (Page 2)

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Leabug
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Well, "physically" refers to the body- so if you're masturbating in a way that causes you physical pain or hurts your body, then that's not such a good idea, but there are plenty of ways to masturbate that do not cause any problems in that way.

"Emotionally" refers to your emotional well-being and happiness- if you feel like masturbating makes you unhappy or stops you from living a happy and productive life, then that's a problem.

I notice that the links to articles at the beginning of the thread are broken, so here are the links that work. Why not check out these threads- you'll find them very relevant to this topic.

Is Masturbation Okay? (Yep.)
Jerking Off

(And just a little pointer for you, Dracon- if you want to add things to a post you've written, or change something in your post, you can click the little pencil and paper icon just above the post to edit it. [Smile] )

[ 01-24-2008, 06:28 PM: Message edited by: Leabug ]

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Lea

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Dracon
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none of those things happen to me.

another question:

Is it okay to masterbate while looknig at porn?

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Leabug
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Did you check out the article SnailShells linked you to?

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Lea

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Dracon
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ok thank you for your help

[ 01-24-2008, 07:39 PM: Message edited by: Dracon ]

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Leabug
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Look at earlier posts in this thread- a user named SnailShells linked you to an article about porn use called "Looking, Lusting and Learning"- go check that out.

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Lea

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Dracon
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i did, and I think it is ok, all it does is make you have a sensation to... u know, well, ya'll are right, there is nothing wrong about it, it is just nature ya? plus thank you for showing me how to edit my page.

(Tell me if I am wrong) [Big Grin]

[ 01-24-2008, 07:54 PM: Message edited by: Dracon ]

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Leabug
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Hey, like the article says- pornography is a very individual thing, so if you're okay with using it, then there's nothing wrong with you using it, if you get what I mean. [Smile] (And no problem- it's my job [Razz] )

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Lea

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Dracon
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another question:

Every time i get done masterbating, I think " I should quit" and I still do it, why am I asking myself should I quit?

Please, awnser my question with your words, please

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Dracon
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and another question:

Would you become a pervert if you masterbate?

(I am sorry for so many questions, it is just that, I need to know, and thank you for helping me) [Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin]

[ 01-24-2008, 09:31 PM: Message edited by: Dracon ]

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Leabug
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Honestly, I can't tell you why you're asking yourself if you should quit. Were you taught to be ashamed of masturbation, or that you're not supposed to do it? It seems to me that this is probably the reason why. And no, masturbation does not make you a pervert- otherwise there'd be a LOT of us "perverts" out there!

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Lea

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Dracon
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ok, thank you for helping me
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Dracon
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does masterbation affect your brain in any way?
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Leabug
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Nope! [Smile] Masturbation won't make you dumber or smarter or anything like that.

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Lea

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Dracon
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does masterbation affect your brain in any way?

for ex: do you become dummer every time you masterbate, or is it your brain just saying that to trick you?

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Dracon
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then the only reason people masterbate for is for pleasure? am I correct.
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Leabug
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Well, generally speaking, most people do masturbate for pleasure- but they still have different reasons for wanting that pleasure. For example, some do it to relax during stressful times, others do it because they're feeling some sexual tension, etc.

(And just to make sure you saw my earlier response, no, masturbation does not make you dumber- I'm not sure what you mean by "your brain saying that to trick you", because most people don't feel dumber after masturbation either. It's just a myth.)

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Lea

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Stephanie_1
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From many of the accounts I've read, many times people that have been through sexual assault/ sexual abuse learn to become comfortable with their bodies and these touches on their own first. It may be difficult for them during sexual situations - and they know their body best. This can acquaint them with what to possibly tell a partner about what "feels good" versus what may potentially be more of a trigger. (Please note I'm not saying everyone that's been through such situations does, but I've read some accounts that it can help)

For girls there is an additional reason for masturbation - many find that orgasm it lessens the effects of cramps .

[ 02-13-2008, 08:00 AM: Message edited by: Stephanie_1 ]

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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laurenrachelle
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quote:
Originally posted by poppy:
I still get this little voice in the back of my head that says something's wrong (although I can never pinpoint it).

Poppy... that is your conscience!
As a devout Catholic (feeling called to holy matromony some day) masterbating in my eyes is wrong. That feeling of pleasure was not only given for our own pleasure but for the pleasure of the spouse (not gf or bf) that we have given ourselves to with God as their witness. Sex is not just for pleasure though, we believe that in a marriage you either use natural family planning or restrain from sex if you don't currently want to have children, but when you have sex we believe you should ALWAYS be open to life, otherwise you aren't truily giving yourself to your spouse...
In others eyes they're consciences have been silenced and muted by repeted offence, so suddenly the wrong act might not feel wrong anymore cause they lost that sense of true direction...
but in my eyes its Wrong[period]

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orca
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Lauren, Scarleteen tries to maintain a safe place for people to talk about questions of sex and sexuality without being condemned or judged for their actions. We also ask that users respect each others' opinions and actions and not try to force everyone else to adopt their own. You should also keep in mind that not everyone on this site is Catholic, or even religious at all, so endorsing only one religion or viewpoint isn't cool here. If you have a problem with this, you can always find another site to go to because it will not be tolerated here. You can also take a look at our user guidelines which you agreed to when you signed up for this site.

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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Leabug
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(Not to mention that not everyone here is straight, either- what about those people who, because of laws in various places, cannot be married to their partners?)

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Lea

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laurenrachelle
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I was just expressing my own opinion...
sorry I was just answering in my own opinion weather I think its right or wrong, not everyone has to agree with me, thats for sure. But I didn't know I couldn't say what I think about it without indorsing it, not everyone has to think masterbating is right.
I thought everyone has a right to an opinion on here? it seems like unless my opinion says, "its totally ok! in my opinion you can do it anywhere, I love love love it!!!" I will get in trouble or "hurt" someone elses opinions or something just for voicing my own opinions...

[ 04-26-2008, 04:30 PM: Message edited by: laurenrachelle ]

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Stephanie_1
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Everyone is certainly entitled to his or her own beliefs - but in that you must understand that this is indeed a sexual education website. The Scarleteen population prides itself on being a safe place for users to post without worry about being judged. As the user agreements state, “harassment of any sort of other users and/or staff via the boards or e-mail (and that includes religious proselytizing...)...”

When the OPs topic is posted wondering if masturbation is wrong – and by all intents and purposes it is not indeed wrong but a matter of personal opinion the atmosphere is no longer a “safe” conversational atmosphere when a poster is replying that it is wrong. Everyone will make their on decisions about sex (whether alone or partnered) and their decisions aren’t wrong – simply their own based on what happens to be and feel right to them at any given time.

If sex isn’t right for you at this time, based either on personal choice or religious beliefs, there’s nothing wrong with that. Please keep in mind though that there’s nothing wrong with individuals deciding that sex does happen to be right for them. We do encourage users to hold their personal beliefs but anything that could potentially offend or seem judgemental of a person’s choices aren't tolerated and therefore need to be checked at the door.

As this isn’t really the place for complaints or discussions about the board or our terms of service, if you’d like to continue this discussion you can send an e-mail to boards@scarleteen.com and the discussion can be continued in private.

[ 04-26-2008, 06:52 PM: Message edited by: Stephanie_1 ]

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AM
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I'll go on record too as a supporter of masturbation for males and females. It's a natural way to experience pleasure and of no negative consequence, in my opinion. To go a step further, I'd even claim it's a healthy part of learning and caring for your sexual self.
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Dracon
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what happens if you masterbate more than 2 times a day?
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Leabug
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Nothing! [Smile] You may find that the second time you ejaculate, you won't produce as much fluid, but otherwise, nothing will happen.

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Lea

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guygirl94
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ive been masterbating a lot lately n it doesnt work like with most othur girls. i just hurt and it bleeds [Frown] [Frown]

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YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

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SnailShells
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guygirl--are you using clitoral stimulation? That may be your problem--most women get little pleasure from vaginal stimulation, if that is what you're trying to do. Are you fully relaxed? Do you have privacy? Check these out:

Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide

10 of the Best Things You Can Do for Your Sexual Self (at Any Age)

How Do You Masturbate?

Yield for Pleasure

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“I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.” --John Waters

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The Loser
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Well, masturbation is A-okay in my book and it says so in a lot of medical sites.

Actually sometimes I masturbate to get rid of mild migraines and headaches (believe it or not). I don't know why but I guess it has to do with the blood rushing ... something... I don't know. But it's great. When I'm not feeling good, physically, I'll feel better afterwards.
I'll even use it like a shot of coffee... if I need to stay up later to finish homework, I can masturbate and then it wakes me up!

And then if I'm kind of tired and need help sleeping, I can do it and it knocks me out!
The benefits of masturbation are limitless in my eyes.
I'm a newcomer to it too.. well fairly new.

I think one of the reasons why girls don't masturbate as much as guys do is because the female anatomy isn't really.. out in the open like guys are. It's hard to figure out which part specifically is stimulated.
Also I think because of society being stuck with women can only orgasm through vaginal penetration is misleading and harder for girls to figuring out how to get themselves off.

That's just my speculation. I dunno. Happy jerking! =]

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Idir
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That little voice inside of your head is simply judgemental conservative society wanting to prohibit you from masturbating...
Masturbation is like, the safesr sex you'll ever have, and it's a way to explore your body and learn to love it, and you need to do so before... letting other people love you and explore their body, too.
And it's definitively not gonna give you acne, hairy palms, or make you blind [Big Grin]

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I know there is an over the rainbow for me.

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Jill2000Plus
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There's nothing bad about masturbating at all, it's your body so enjoy touching it as much as you want, it is a safe way of experiencing pleasure from one's own body (so long as you don't masturbate with anything sharp or unsanitary, or insert something too large into any hole in your body). I think it's utterly brilliant (lots of fun!)

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Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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Jill2000Plus
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Also, laurenrachelle, not a single individual on this thread suggested that public masturbation was acceptable (I think it is in babies and very young children, but not after the first few years) so don't pretend that anybody's advocating that anyone "can do it anywhere", just because of your in no way evidenced or objective belief that masturbation is wrong. (I absolutely think that anywhere your room is is ok, and in any political territory, just to clarify).

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Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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PrettyCoutureGirlVickyy
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EveryBody Has Thought About Doing It So It Dosent Matter What You Do To YourSelf & Boys That Do It All The Time Thats Nasty But You Know Every Once In AWhile..I Never Did It..So..

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Pretty Vicky Shee Pretty & Smart!

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Heather
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Hey, Pretty?

It's really important in this space not to call other people's sexual behavior things like "nasty."

A lot of people -- men and women alike - have times when they masturbate a lot. Some people do it more infrequently, but it varies a lot, even for any one person in a lifetime.

Would we say someone who has sex "all the time" with a partner is "nasty?" No? Then it doesn't make sense to say the same about sex with oneself.

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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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music2myears612
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I know people do that but I like to think they dont and I think its best if people dont really talk about that in the real world at least not with me. I dont do that and think its dirty but thats just me, everyone is going to do what they want to do.
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Heather
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Ditto, by the way, with talking about a kind of sex as "dirty," okay?

And I'd ask the same kinds of questions about that as I asked in my last post here. Why would masturbating be "dirty" but partnered sex wouldn't be? Unless you are ONLY having partnered sex for purposes of procreation, all the motivators for partnered sex as pretty similar to those of masturbation: for pleasure, to relax, to get in touch with your body and yourself, to make connections.

I also think it's wise to reconsider enabling any denial anyone has about the fact that most people do masturbate and always will. If anyone pretends their partners don't masturbate, in some sense, they're denying that person's own sexuality. As well, in sexual partnerships, you're often going to find it pretty hard to deny: in sex together, elements of masturbation will often be a part, and if you live with someone, they probably will also masturbate in shared space.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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