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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » masterbating... right or wrong??? (Page 1)

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King
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well the whole thing is complicated. i mean i talked to some girls at my school who are my friends and they say that they dont masterbate, but almost every gut i know does...( what a way to make us guys feel dirty and bad!!!). so is masterbating wrong and dirty?


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logic_grrl
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Nope .

Not wrong, not dirty, and most people do it. Check out these articles:
Jerking Off
Is Masturbation Okay? (Yep)

However, if someone says that they don't masturbate, it doesn't mean that they're engaged in a Wicked Plot to make all guys feel dirty.

More likely, it's because either a) they actually don't masturbate, or b) they do, but don't feel comfortable discussing it in school.


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KrAzY_KaRl
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Here are some nerdy facts: 2/3rds of Adult females say they have masturbated at some point in their lives, and 88% of teenage boys say they masturbate. Happy ... Australia day! for yesterday.. whatever ill shut up now

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"Quickly we have to get to those oilfields.. I mean Terrorists!"


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wooooh!!!
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Its not dirty at all. Its completely natural and the majority of people do it regularely or have done it at some point in their lives. But a lot of people dont really feel comfortable talking about it. Dont be ashamed if you do it. Theres nothing wrong with it :-)
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HH_demiurge
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Masturbation is indeed somewhat more common in males than females, although the statistics Google can turn up for me vary enormously. At any rate, it's quite common, and no reputable professional would ever suggest that it poses a health risk (unless you're doing someting strange I guess).

"Dirty" is subjective. There are many different criteria for "dirty." I personally find nothing wrong with masturbation, but there are those who do. Then again, there are those who find women's bare ankles to be offensive, so I don't give that sort of puritanical outlook much thought.


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Mathilde
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I don't see it as dirty. However, that's just my opinion. Everyone does it eventually, and it is harmless, so what's the problem?

It's natural. No one should feel ashamed to say "I masturbate" when it's something that's very common with teens and adults (as well as young children). I think that masturbation is a great way for a person to get to know themselves sexually.


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summergoddess
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Masterbation is not dirty. It's a normal sexual activity to do alone or with someone. It's okay to know that people have done it really young. Masterbation helps you know your body better and that you'd be able to know your own turn on/offs. You would be able to share that with your partner, should you two get intimate.

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~Jules


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Sayna
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quote:
Originally posted by Alex Nolastname:
well the whole thing is complicated. i mean i talked to some girls at my school who are my friends and they say that they dont masterbate, but almost every gut i know does...( what a way to make us guys feel dirty and bad!!!). so is masterbating wrong and dirty?

Just wondering.... What does the fact that the girls you know don't and the guys you know do have to do with it being dirty?
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poppy
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I know what you mean. I've masturbated for years now and sometimes, I still get this little voice in the back of my head that says something's wrong (although I can never pinpoint it). I think that partly, masturbation is taboo because it's "not the real thing". But as Carol Queen said, you ARE the real thing. And that's where perspective comes in.
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Marquis_de_Carabas
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"But as Carol Queen said, you ARE the real thing. And that's where perspective comes in."

Or as Woody Allen said, "dont knock masturbation, it's sex with someone you love"..

Same perspective..well, actually, i just like the quote..

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*meg*
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Masturbation is not dirty or wrong at all, it is natural and a part of life. Dont feel ashamed about it!
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kornyguy
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yea its not dirty! but it can become a bad habit, or an addiction i think
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dailicious
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No, masturbation cannot become an addiction. There is nothing, whatsoever, addictive about masturbation. It CAN become a problem if you're masturbating so often that it keeps you from doing other things (ie, going to school, getting school work done, seeing friends, etc.) but that's more of an issue with self control, NOT with masturbation being addictive itself.

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Jean
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Irm
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Dailicious, I'm swaying kind of on the other side of that. An addiction pretty much IS a loss of self control--your "self" control not being able to override the "other" control. Since masturbation DOES produce a very distinct release of chemicals in the brain, it makes sense that masturbation, like cutting or alcohol or sorrow or drugs or tattoos, can became an addiction: ie, it becoming too difficult to stop or slow down even when you've made a conscious decision to do so. If masturbation IS interfering with school/work/responsibilities, what else would you call that besides an addiction? Unlike most controlling substances or masochistic behaviors, masturbation isn't inherently BAD for you, but then neither is food, unless indulged in excessively, and people DO certainly become "addicted" to food to such a point that they are literally harming themselves, even though they do not like what they are doing to themselves. Please do counter me on this if I'm in error, but that's how I see it.
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Heather
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Thing is, those chemicals are NOT distinct: a good workout, for instance, would produce the very same ones. They're not foreign to the body, either: the crop up in all sorts of daily life scenarios which are not uniquely sexual or masturbatory.

Addiction, by defintion and in practice, pretty specifically refers to a chemical addiction: masturbation/sex really can't be an addiction for those reasons, but it CAN become an obsession or compulsion, because those things are about the behaviour, not something chemical.

(Which is also why compulsive eaters, which you mentioned, are called just that. There are, incidentally, some foods which ARE, can be, or may be chemically addictive, but that'd be considered something entriely different than compulsive eating.)

[ 04-21-2006, 12:19 PM: Message edited by: Miz Scarlet ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Mick
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Yes it is wrong. If your a Christian you shouldn't do it. In the Lord's eyes if you think about doing anything, then you have done it. Therefore what are you thinking about when you masterbate? Yep, I'm sure we all know. It is sexually immoral. It is pre-marital sex(which is wrong) . God created sex don't you think he would know when you would experience it the best and to its best abilities? And that is in a marriage. Not by yourself, and not in a boyfriend-girlfriend situation. My tip to people that haven't tried it yet is DO NOT TRY IT. It becomes an obsession. And if you don't do it then you don't realize what your missing. [Big Grin] -Mick
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-Lauren-
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Scarleteen is a pro-choice, inclusive, all-encompassing space in which visitors are given accurate information in order to help them form their own opinions based on their values. Please post with respect to the fact that not everybody has the same values as you.

In addition, there's no evidence that masturbation is addictive or habit forming. It's been several years since it was toted by the US surgeon general as a healthy, safe, normal sexual activity, and even then, was long overdue.

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Mick
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Well...Then my post is for those whom strive for Jesus. My posts will be based upon the Bible and God's Word for Christians teens that want the answer that the Lord says.
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Heather
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Mick, Scarleteen is a comprehensive sexuality education site, based on medically accurate information. This is also an inclusive site, so posts which only include those of one religion or denomination, or which state things which are not medically inaccurate just aren't appropriate here.

(Too, not all Christians share the same views on masturbation, particularly since the Bible doesn't actually even mention it expressly. It's alluded to in Onan, but even that is about seminal fluids, rather than masturbation, and also is only about males. Even if this were a site for Christians only, stating a personal belief or personal interpretation to be the word of G_d is mighty precarious, unless you happen to have his cell number to be able to verify that with him yourself.)

So, if you want to post here, you're going to have to do so within our guidelines. If you don't want to do that, that's fine, but you'll have to find somewhere else to post.

[ 01-15-2008, 08:04 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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hs123
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I'm a religious person (I'm not of the Christian denomination) but I'm religious. I know that it's against the laws of my religion to masturbate (and I personally don't but that's simply because I prefer having a connection to my partner-- and it's also not openly prohibited in my religion for women to masturbate, it's just an inference people make), but there are also many other things that are against my religion, and many other people's religions that nobody pays attention to. For instance, people gossip... And I think the world would be a lot better if people stopped gossiping, rather than if people stopped masturbating.
Certain things, for instance, things having to do with sex, are put on this pedestal when it comes to religion, so much so that we stop paying attention to the things that could really change the world for the better, with or without religion.

And just as an aside, masturbation is not prohibited because we should wait for the pleasure of sex at g-ds will...(Even in the christian religion) It is prohibited because of an entirely different reason. So if you want to say that g-d should determine when you're ready for pleasure,just know that that is not the reason it is prohibited in the bible.

Now that I finished this-- lemme just put it out there--- I don't think this particular part of the forum is a place for a religious debate, or for chatising people with valid questions.

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hs123
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Oh! Sorry Heather, I totally didn't realize that you had responded to that--- THANK GOD YOU DID!
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Heather
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Thanking me is probably more accurate. [Smile]

All the same, by all means, with posts like these that are opinion-based, there's no need to worry about also adding yours, even if it's in line with someone else's.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Narwhal
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Also, the whole "masturbation is a sin and is against God's will" logic has been used as a justification for marital rape--I know firsthand of one such case, because I sat by the victim's side as she filed her report. It was a really distressing situation, and reading this post brought up the memory of it. Personally, I think harming another person, whether through sex or anything else, is just inexcusable.
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thismoment
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I know that most of my female friends do - or at least have tried - masturbating. Some, however, have said that they want to 'save' themselves (their words) for marriage. They're not religious, so I'm guessing that someone somewhere has told them that masturbation is wrong...

Oh, and as for my male friends: all, that I know of, do masturbate.

Anyway, masturbating isn't wrong. If you want to, and it is not causing anyone else any distress or pain (which I don't see how it would, unless you did it in public, or something) and it feels good, why not? It's your body, enjoy it! [Smile]

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Mick
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I apologize for my posts. You may delete them if you want. Actually I recommend that you do because now I'm rather embarrassed [Frown] Once again I apologize for posting my opinion based on my religion. It's wrong. I'll only post this onto sites that allow and or promote this kind of posts. Thank-you for these responses guys. It has changed my views on over-looking others views and feelings first. [Smile]
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-Lauren-
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Actually I recommend that you do because now I'm rather embarrassed

That won't be necessary! You're perfectly entitled to post your feelings and personal choices as they apply to you. The only reason there was a little bit of a problem was because you were posting in a way that imposed your view on everybody. A more effective way to get across your view might be something like:

"I don't masturbate because I believe it's wrong in the eyes of God, and I'm highly religious. I feel ___ about this choice, and hope others might consider it as well."

See how that allows you to voice your opinion, give your own experience and reasons, while respecting the opinions and values of others?

Thank you for the apology, and be assured there's no hard feelings on our end, nor a need to be embarrassed on yours! Please let us know if you need additional pointers when it comes to posting in a way that'll lead to good discussions here, if you choose to stick around after all. :)

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Dracon
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plz awnser my question.

is it wrong to masterbate, because I have masterbated for 2-3 years and I need to know if it is bad to masterbate, or not

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Dracon
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plz awnser my question.

is it wrong to masterbate, because I have masterbated for 2-3 years and I need to know if it is bad to masterbate, or not, so plz tell me, I need to know. will it affect you physically? will it hurt you in the future?

p.s I am not a christan,I belive in god and jesus,does he think it is wrong of any sort, or is it just nature

Please reply
Thank you
Dracon

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SnailShells
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Dracon, just read the links in Heather's response to King's question (it's the second post, at the top of the page). They should answer any and all questions [Smile]

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“I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.” --John Waters

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SnailShells
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...Oops, sorry, it won't answer your question on Jesus' opinion. Unless you know his email, I don't think there's a right answer for that. I would just read through this thread and then make your own decision.

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“I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.” --John Waters

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Leabug
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As for whether or not masturbation is permitted in your religion, the best people to ask about that are your religious leaders (priest, pastor, whichever). Scarleteen does not have a religious affiliation, so we're really not the most appropriate place to search for those answers.

(That said, we welcome users of any and all religions, so let's try not to put down what people believe, okay?)

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Lea

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Dracon
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is it wrong to masterbate while looking at pics?
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SnailShells
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Unless you are hurting yourself in any way, be it physically or emotionally, masturbation isn't wrong. [Smile]

You might find this useful and/or interesting:

Looking, Lusting and Learning: A Straightforward Look at Pornography

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“I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.” --John Waters

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Dracon
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what do you mean physically or emotionally?
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Dracon
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what do you mean by hurt yourself in a way? And what do you mean by physically or emotionally?
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