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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » Is it ok to be bai?

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Author Topic: Is it ok to be bai?
*~*DarkNight*~*
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Member # 20741

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I have two friends who are bai and I am feeling that I might be becomeing bai.... I feel that girls are cute but at the same time I find guys just as attractive..... and I dono how my bai friends would take it if I told them..... plz help me....

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I am my only reliable friend......


Posts: 3 | From: Madison, Wisconsin, U.S.A | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Per the guidelines, please post in standard english, not netspeak. That way, we can understand you.

Yes, being bi or bisexual is common as the sun coming up in the east, and as okay as being heterosexual or homosexual.

You know, nobody needs to claim labels immediately. In fact, for most peple, discovering sexual orientation takes both time, as well as experience in actual relationships, not just crushes-from-afar. That doesn't mean you have to have sex with people to find that out, just that real interaction often is a very different thing from "he's cute," or "she's cute."

So, when you start dating -- no matter what gender -- you're likely to find things start getting a lot less murky over time: there's no need to rush it. Moreover, one can't really "become" bi. Certainly there are numerous studies, argumens and diversions about how much of sexual orientation is nature, how much nurture, but the process of becoming that really everyone as a tee is in is the process of becoming who they are, and sexually, the process of finding out -- again, over time -- where their attractions lie, what kind of relationships they want and need, what works fr them in actuality, rather than fantasy.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
*~*DarkNight*~*
Neophyte
Member # 20741

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thanks for your help but I think its been going on for a while not just right now becomeing it. But I would need help because at first I was a little hesatant when my friends told me and now that I might be it too could be a problem. please help!
Posts: 3 | From: Madison, Wisconsin, U.S.A | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Adjusting your approach might help.

Being bisexual isn't an "it," anymore than being homosexual or heterosexual it. It's not a disease; it's a sexual orientation.

But it's not something someone else can assign to you. Right now, there's a very slippery deal afoot, which is that it is, in some circles, vogue for young women to be bisexual. That's a double-edged sword though, and the acceptance usually isn't the same when and if you DO have real relationships with other women for something other than another person's sexual entertainment or a trend.

So, your friends shouldn't be telling you what your ortenation may or may not be: only you can figure that out for yourself, over time, and if anyone is in a big hurry to affix a label, no matter what the label, there's a whole lot of room for error.


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CrimsonCriminal
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Hey,don't rush into it. Ease yourself into understanding your sexual orientation. Actually, there is a theory that nobody can be completely gay or straight, and everyone is bi to a certain degree. So, you find that girls are cute. You got your first piece of the puzzle. I know a girl who was bi until she got a boyfriend, claimed that he "fixed" her and stopped going after women. I myself remember eating pencils out of anxiety because I wanted to jump on a girl who sat a few desks away from me but I didn't want the world to know so I supressed it. You can't go BAM! BI! and suddenly settle in as a comfortable, out of the closet bisexual. It takes a lot of time to work out how you feel sometimes, I watched my bisexual opposite sex partner go through pretty distressful stages when he felt that men turned him on more than women, and I went through a few pretty bad same sex crushes, it's never that easy.
Posts: 105 | From: Australia | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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