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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » There are heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual people, but...

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Author Topic: There are heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual people, but...
Sorrow of wind bird sky
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I don't really know where this topic fit into... Somehow it seems to belong to gender issue, so I put it here.


I know there are heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual people. But, are there more "genders" than these?

For example, if there is a guy named "Jay." Jay was a heterosexual when he was young, and he loved girls who are about his age.

However, it turns out that all girls despises his look and feels offended just by talking to him when he grows up. He is being despised by everyone because everything he has different look, undesirable height, "boring" interests, stammers every time in conversation, "repulsive" personality, ugly appearance, lower IQ & EQ, etc. Everything he has is resented by female.

One day when he sits alone in school, a guy friend of Jay's came along to say hello and have a walk with him around the school. As they cross the street, someone called out "gay".

It offends Jay a lot. But, suddenly he realizes that he is not sexually attracted to girls anymore(because whoever he meets hates him severely), nor does he want to have any sexual relationship with a male.

What word should we use to describe Jay? He is not attracted to either male or female. He is not megalomaniac, either. How shall we call him?

Note: there are people like Jay living in the society... I am sure of this because I know one :P

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I feel glad to be depressed, because I realize I am a failure...
It's better not to try than failing everytime..


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Pumpkin_Pie
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We've actually had a few threads on something like this before:

People refer to it as Asexuality which is actually a wrong term.

In the words of Miz Scarlet:
"To be asexual means not to have a sex -- as in a male or female reproductive system."
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum16/HTML/000113.html
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum16/HTML/000276.html

http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum16/HTML/000336.html

I'm sure there are more if you dig around with the site search function


I hope that helped with your enquiry!

-Bek


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Heather
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FYI, what you're describing are sexual orientation or identity identifiers, not genders.

Gender is that which is a persons sex, such as being male, female, intergendered or transgendered.

Sexual orientation and identity is what the terms bisexual, pansexual, heterosexual and homosexual refer to.

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Heather Corinna
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My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
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logic_grrl
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quote:
But, suddenly he realizes that he is not sexually attracted to girls anymore(because whoever he meets hates him severely)

Stopping feeling attracted to people because of the belief that they "hate you severely" is not the same as what gets called "asexuality", which means never being attracted to people in the first place.

Your basic orientation is not generally considered to be something that you can change or switch off just because of your beliefs about other people.

And I'd also doubt that "Jay" is in fact "hated severely" by everyone. Not everyone is going to reject someone because of fixed standards about looks. Some other people may share his "boring" interests, or think his stammer is sexy, for example.

It may be that a sexual relationship isn't the right option for him right now, or that he hasn't met someone who will "click" with him, but that doesn't necessarily mean deciding that he's somehow become "asexual".


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Sunset_Rose
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quote:
Originally posted by Miz Scarlet:

Sexual orientation and identity is what the terms bisexual, pansexual, heterosexual and homosexual refer to.

[/B]


I couldn't find this using search, so I was just wonering
What's pansexual?


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logic_grrl
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"Pan" is the prefix meaning "all", so someone who's pansexual is someone who's attracted to people of all genders.

But isn't this just the same as "bisexual", I hear you ask?

Well, the "bi" in "bisexual" could be seen as implying that there are just two genders - men and women. So some people use the term "pansexual" to refer to being attracted to people of all possible genders and types of sexual identity, including people who may identify as both male and female, or neither, or any of the huge range of possible gender identities out there.


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Pumpkin_Pie
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And also, if I'm not mistaken, people who identify as Pan sexual often say taht they fall in love with people rather than gender.

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"You said I killed you- haunt me, then! The murdered do haunt their murderers. I believe- I know that ghosts have wandered on earth. Be with me always-take any form- drive me mad! Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh God! It is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!

- Heathcliff, Wuthering Heights.


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Dzuunmod
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Many bisexuals seem to feel that way, too.

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...and we raise the white flag, so they can paint it red and blue!
-Joel Plaskett, True Patriot Love


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logic_grrl
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I think it's worth noting that heterosexual and homosexual people also fall in love with people, not gender. Nobody falls in love with "gender"!

Homosexuals and heterosexuals may fall in love with (or be attracted to) people who always (or almost always) happen to belong to a particular gender, but that certainly doesn't mean that they're only attracted to their partner for their gender or their particular genital arrangement.


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Sunset_Rose
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Thanks for the explanations everyone!

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