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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » Dads, boyfirends. guys in general

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Author Topic: Dads, boyfirends. guys in general
Claire
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Member # 1548

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hey there everyone.
well im posting cause i just realised this afternoon that ive never ever met a guy whos loved me. my dad died when i was 2 and ive never had a bf that loved me.
in fact ive never loved a guy.. u cant count my brothers i DONT love them(in fatc i probably hate them)
ive been looking for a guy to lvoe and am desperately jealous of my friends who have loving boyfriends. i know this isnt right an dim happy for them but i cant help how i feel about it.
i was just wondering if u guys knew n e way which i could get over this and just be happy with love from my mummy and my friends....?
Thank you so so so so soooooooo much
Claire

Posts: 82 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lin
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*huggles* sweetie. I wish I could give you some wonderful advice which would make you feel better immediately but I think what you are going through is something which would take some effort and time to get through.

You know sweetie, it is okay to want to have a guy to love you as well. it doesn't mean that you don't appreciate your mum and friends' love for you. It doesn't mean that at all.

And you indeed deserve some guy to love you and shower attention on you but I think you have got a firm head on your shoulders and you are looking for more than someone to love. You are looking for someone worthwhile to love. And that is good hon. And trust me, that day will come. However impossible that sounds to you right now.

I don't think any of us can teach you how to be happy with your mum and friends' love. I think you need to appreciate it by yourself which I thnk you already do. Just know that there are tons of people who love you and care for you.

Have you thought of talking to someone about all this sweetie? A counsellor, close family friend? It might really help.

*hugs* sweetie. If you ever need to talk, we are all here.


Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Siren
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Awww, that's a lot for someone to handle. *hugs*

Lin gives great advice so I'll just add some. I don't think there's any way to get over your feelings, I think it's more something you have to deal with a little at a time. Realize you're NO less loved just because you've never been loved by a guy. Really, it's as simple as that. Whether you find love in your mum, your friends, your pet, or something else.....remember you do have lots of love in your life.

But you are very normal for wanting a guy to love you and you love him. And you deserve that. The only thing I can tell you is what Lin said, you will have that one day.

Meanwhile I'd definitely suggest talking to someone about this, it'll make you feel so much better. Take care, hope I was able to help you a little.

------------------
Lil Siren


Posts: 190 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cuddleslut
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basically, i think that everybody gets lonely at some point. i definitely know how you feel. i mean, i've always had a lot of guys in my life (most of my best friends are guys, i have 3 brothers, boyfriends, dad, etc), but because i've been so accustomed to having them in it, when they're not it's the most lonely feeling... i think it's almost better to not know what it feels like than to have had a boyfriend and be single. after i broke up with my ex-boyfriend, i felt like i would never get another guy again. it really sucks to feel that way. and, i can definitely relate to how you feel because one of my best friends (a girl) is in the same situation. i think that you shouldn't worry about it now, you'll find somebody! be assertive! if you want a boyfriend or a guy friend, initiate it yourself if need be. as soon as you start getting to know guys, you'll understand them a lot better and it will be easier for you to get some that are close to you.
good luck! i hope you feel better
love,
-Alex

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you wanna be just like me, i wish i could be myself
you wanna be just like me,
i can't think of no one else...
-Reel Big Fish


Posts: 120 | From: california...well, at least it sounds cool. | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BruinDan
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edited

[This message has been edited by BruinDan (edited 09-25-2002).]


Posts: 2727 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Claire
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aww thank u guys so much.
nah ive got heaps of guy friends i just dont see them all that often. the whole girls skool thingy but i talk to them on icq heaps and thats all good.
aww ure all so sweet!!
thank you so so so much
i went to a counsiller once but not about that and it didnt do ne thing for me i prefer venting to friends and stuff much more interesting.
thankies
Claire

Posts: 82 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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