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Author Topic: (((Nailo)))
keekee
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Heya Nailo darling,
How are things going? Whats new in your life and hows the revising? I hope everythings going okay get back to be babe,
keekee
xxx

--------------------
Yes, know thyself: in great concerns or small, Be this thy care, for this, my friend, is all. - Juvenal

Abuse can and will only survive and thrive if silence is kept. So lets speak out?!

Posts: 83 | From: Dagenham, Essex UK | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nailo
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Hey :)Thanks for setting up the thread. Things are going pretty well. I'm so happy because i'm doing community service. I'm teaching a group of 6 girls in the slums music. The coordinator said I should be very proud of myself because I'm like the founder of the music program there; they have no music, not even at the school. I'm amazed, because they really went a lot farther than I thought they would be able to the first class. One of them is particularly talented. I'm hoping to make a fundraiser to take them to watch "The Nutcracker" at the end of the year at the National Theatre. They wouldn't forget that [Smile] . I also wanted to look for donations of unused keyboards, a tv, a vcr and a cd player. I'd ask for a clavinova...but maybe I'll wait to see if the theatre will help me with that one. I needed to talk to them anyway so I could see if they'll help me pay for the girl's tickets.

The revising hasn't started yet XD It'll probably start next week. But I've been doing summaries and stuff since the first year of GCSE, so it should be easy [Smile] . I've just got to practice math like crazy >_>.

I should be going to the states soon to visit my grandfather [Smile] . My boyfriend's going to Mexico with his family, and my mother says that'll be a perfect time for me to study without distractions >_>. I was thinking of making up a day for him [Razz] . Just occurred to me when I was looking at "Condomania". Make him a nice card that says "Happy ANTI fathers day!!" and make a safe sex kit XD. I don't really care about receiving gifts, but I like giving them [Smile] . I would have given it for fathers day, but I don't think it'll reach me on time.

Anyway...I've gotta go eat and see what to put in that kit. I was planning on buying myself an iRiver..but they're so expensive, and there's nothing between 6 and 30GB! I have too much music for 6 and too little for 30...so I guess I'll wait till my birthday to see if there's anything more suitable.

Catch you later [Smile] Bye!

--------------------
"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

Posts: 410 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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Vamos al Village People forum ahora. ok?

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LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
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Nailo
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Ok Gumdrop ^^; Perdón. ¡No sabía que hablabas español!

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"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

Posts: 410 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
keekee
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Heya Nailo (hugs)
glad to hear your ok hunny - have you had a nice day? My day, has been ok i met someone from the net yesterday (condones it for youngsters and if u must do it : do it safely!), he was lovely [Smile] . Goin to see him again tommorrow before he goes home to wales *cries*. Well what have you been up to? me? ive had to contend with boiling days - summer has arrived in england [Frown] [Frown]

anywho goto mush,
take care love ya
keekee
xxx

Posts: 83 | From: Dagenham, Essex UK | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nailo
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lol! Hot days in England...I think you'd never make it if you came to Costa Rica [Razz] Cold to us is... what, 17°C? Never snows, always rains, but it's really hot when it rains too [Razz] . But it's a pretty country. Hey, we're not ever green for no reason, are we?

My day's been ok too [Smile] . Went to my psychologist, she said she'd talk to my mom about me feeling that she and her boyfriend give up too easily. Just the other day, as a small example, my mother was taking me to school and the guard told us to go ahead, but the person next to us kept going too and we bumped each other. I got out to get into school, so I didn't see anything else. When I got back, my mother was telling me "I was sure he had told us to go, it was the other guy who kept going!" and I asked "then what happened?" "oh, I didn't want to argue, so I just gave him 30 000 colones" $70 dolars or so. I was appalled! "mother, it wasn't your fault, and you had a witness in front of you, why didn't you say anything?!" "just didn't want to argue...". Grumble...

School's FINALLY out for a month on friday! But yay, I have to study for my mock IGCSEs -_-. I'm going to see my favourite uncle for a week in Dallas [Smile] . That should be fun. Shopping, video games, good ice cream (I don't like much of it here), good company!

I told my mother that I don't want to see my dad for fathers day, and she understood, but she said I just can't ignore it. "You have to send him an email or call him or something". -sigh- I don't want to, if I call him, he'll ask to go out with me, if I email him, he'll ask to go out with me... I just don't even want to have contact with him.

Glad you got to meet your friend [Smile] Talk to you later, I've gotta get going on history and stop procrastinating!! Bye [Smile]

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"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

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keekee
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Nailo,
Listen to me hunny, if you dont want to talk to him - dont! and thats coming from me!!!! Your are your own person, your own personality - and boy, what an amazing one at that! REMEMBER, you have rights. ( tho i cant remember how old you are!!!) Something else ... and please dont let this upset you... I believe that the day your father layed a finger on you was the day he gave up all rights to being your father. Every child has the right to live in a happy and SAFE environment. You have the right to make you own decision, your mam should respect your decsion. REMEMBER she has a duty to keep you safe.

OH and one more thing - if you made it clear that you don't want to see him, be strong and dont let him ask. Dont go back on your word, unless you really want to. Nailo, please don't think I am attacking you or trying to upset you ... because im not - i have your best interests at heart - I really do care [Smile] you can ALWAYS ALWAYS talk to me ... hence our little threads [Big Grin]
all my love hunny ...
Keekee
xxxxxx
xxxxx
xxxx
xxx
xx
x

[ 06-15-2006, 07:37 PM: Message edited by: keekee ]

--------------------
Yes, know thyself: in great concerns or small, Be this thy care, for this, my friend, is all. - Juvenal

Abuse can and will only survive and thrive if silence is kept. So lets speak out?!

Posts: 83 | From: Dagenham, Essex UK | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nailo
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Thanks so much! No, I don't think you are attacking me. I don't love my father, I don't think I have for a long time. Love isn't something you give automatically, it's earned, just like respect and trust. Because of that, and other (too many) things, he has none of that. I'm going to ask my mom if she's worried that he'll lash out at us if I don't contact him. Really, if he does, he's got everything to lose.

Tomorrow school's out!! So happy. I heard England did well against Trinidad and Tobago today [Smile] . We got the morning off so we could watch Costa Rica play. I hate football, personally, so it's kind of nice to be able to miss school for something completely irrelevant [Razz] . Oh well, Costa Rica is pretty sucky at football. We're out already, all that's left is trying not to go down with 0 points. And still, it was practically a national holiday when the world cup started...

I should be off to my school talent show soon. I always participate, singing and playing the piano, but not this year. I don't want people to get tired of me. So I'm just going to cheer on my cousin's band (who won the school battle of the bands [Wink] ) and some classmates who're doing a coreography. Theme's Hollywood, and if I go as someone famous I get a disscount, but I can't think of anyone. oh well.

Talk to you later [Smile] I'm your age, by the way [Razz] . Thanks for the support.

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"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

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keekee
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Heya darlin ((nailo)),

hope your okay darlin, did'nt know when your going away, so if you are already gone - have a lovely time sweety! Hope the talent show went okay hunny!

I am not very well so this will be a very quick post - I have the flu [Frown] Hows studying going? How are you and your boyfriend? I have some news for you - i have a new b/f [Wink] . YEY. I have been applying for different universities - really takes it out of you - i tell ya! Anyways hunny getting a bit dizzy, so im going to find my bed at 01:17am [Embarrassed] .

Lots of love darlin xxx
keekee
xxx

Posts: 83 | From: Dagenham, Essex UK | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nailo
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The talent show went great! My friends came in second place in the coreography! [Big Grin] I was kicking myself for not having participated myself though!! I'll go for it next time...

Awww, I hope you feel better! The studying is...well, going. I haven't done much, I just have one chapter left on my biology summary though [Smile] I'll probably finish that tonight if I'm not too lazy. I want to do summaries before I actually get down to memorizing. My boyfriend and I are doing well, except for a little incident that you can read about in my thread in sex basics "disgusted and confused". He's taking his final math test on wednesday and is studying hard, so right now we can't see each other...but I guess that means I have no excuse not to study myself, right? [Razz] That's great about your new boyfriend, congrats!!

As for the rest of things... I got an operation on my gum last monday, and it hurts a lot [Frown] . They had to burn a chunk of it off because it was growing over my gum. It stings when I try eating, so I've been avoiding it. Oh well...I'm going back to the dentist tomorrow. This would be the perfect time to bake something for my friend's birthday on tuesday, I won't be able to eat any of it! [Razz] I'm supposed to be on a diet, I'm with a nutritionist because I'm like 6 kilos overweight. It's not that much, I'm not obese, but I'd still like to get to the "normal" weight for my age, size and bone strucure

I leave for Dallas to visit my uncle on thursday morning. I love my family up there [Smile] . It'll be a week of video games, anime and great company. Are you going anywhere for the holidays?

Hope you feel better. See you! [Smile]

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"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

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keekee
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Heya sweety,
Im fine still got my infection, nopt at all well atm. Sorry to hear about your gum operation ... but think on it a good way - i always eat cake and put on weight!! But please remember dieting can lead to extrememes and dieting can be dangerous to you as you are still growing, sweetheart.

How are things with you and your mum? are they still going to force you to see ... you know who? how are you feeling about the circumstances now? How are you and your boyfriends - does he understand? And more importantly - how are you feeling darling?

lots of love sweetheart,
keekee
xxx

--------------------
Yes, know thyself: in great concerns or small, Be this thy care, for this, my friend, is all. - Juvenal

Abuse can and will only survive and thrive if silence is kept. So lets speak out?!

Posts: 83 | From: Dagenham, Essex UK | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
keekee
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Heya sweety,
Im fine still got my infection, nopt at all well atm. Sorry to hear about your gum operation ... but think on it a good way - i always eat cake and put on weight!! But please remember dieting can lead to extrememes and dieting can be dangerous to you as you are still growing, sweetheart.

How are things with you and your mum? are they still going to force you to see ... you know who? how are you feeling about the circumstances now? How are you and your boyfriend - does he understand? And more importantly - how are you feeling darling?

lots of love sweetheart,
keekee
xxx

--------------------
Yes, know thyself: in great concerns or small, Be this thy care, for this, my friend, is all. - Juvenal

Abuse can and will only survive and thrive if silence is kept. So lets speak out?!

Posts: 83 | From: Dagenham, Essex UK | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nailo
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I'm back from my trip ^^ And my gum's all healed up.

Apparently, my aunt in the U.S had gone through the same thing, with 3 uncles. She said they're all dead now, but she took count of it with each one. She says she still resents her mother for letting everything happen, and she's 54. I stayed up talking to her until 3 am. It was relieving.

I wanted to talk to her because the only people who I know who have gone through the same thing don't want to talk about it, and I know I have you and this site, but I can't see you face to face. I needed someone who could talk to me close up about it. Really talk to me. I vented out everything I felt for my mother, and I realized I might resent her more than I thought, though I try to control it. The painful thing is that I really do care about my mother a lot, she and I have had to be each other's only support several times. I don't like resenting her. My aunt was very supportive, she said that my mom and I really need to keep going to our councellor together because we have a lot to sort out. But she reassured me that I'm not a bad person for not liking my mother as much as I would want to, and said that no one should ever tell me that I should "get over it" because she, at 54, still hasn't completely; but we have to be strong so it doesn't rule over our lives. She's managed to live her life quite well despite it. I really look up to her. I wish my mother was there to hear that, so she wouldn't think that it's about time I stopped feeling bad about this. I guess I always will, but that's just something that'll make me stronger. Like one of the characters in my new favourite "manga" (japanese anime comic book) said, "I want to live with all my memories, even if they're sad ones... if I keep them and keep trying without running away...If I keep trying someday, I'll be strong enough that those memories can't defeat me... I want to think that there's no memory that's ok to forget". (I cried when I read that, because I had just started getting flashbacks)

Speaking of which!! If you like anime, you have to read Fruits Basket!! It's a romance/comedy, but it has it's serious part, as you can see. I really really recommend it [Smile] . Manga's are about 6 pounds each in the UK; they're worth it, though!

My boyfriend is an angel. He's been my biggest support, and he's perfectly ok with the fact that sometimes I find it hard to express myself physically. He's said that he doesn't want to "just kill" my dad...but he's not going to be stupid and go out and do it. Funny how I didn't mind when he said that though. He says he only regrets that he can't offer me more support because he (thank God) doesn't know what it's like. But really, I couldn't possibly ask for anything else [Smile] .

How's the court case going? Hope you feel better. See you!

--------------------
"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

Posts: 410 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
keekee
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Heya darlin - sorry I havent posted back sooner. Im glad to hear you can talk with your aunty, one of my friends ( who has been through similar to us) said to me it made her heal faster and get over her issue BECAUSE hearing other peoples problems and what helped them, helped her. I do believe you should spend more time with her - it will be a gift to you.
Know the feeling though hunny - what have you been up to? had a nice day sweetheart? I am having a rough time - my aunty died [Frown] , got rejected for two of my UNI applications and my b/f broke it off with me [Frown]
Uhm court case does'nt start untill the 11th Oct. My friend is coming down in two weeks ( as its my birthday [Embarrassed] ) anyways enough about me - hows life now?
love you millions kee xx

--------------------
Yes, know thyself: in great concerns or small, Be this thy care, for this, my friend, is all. - Juvenal

Abuse can and will only survive and thrive if silence is kept. So lets speak out?!

Posts: 83 | From: Dagenham, Essex UK | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nailo
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-gasps- I'm so sorry to hear you had a bad day! [Frown] -hugs- Wish I could be there for you. If you want to talk about it, you can post back. How's your family doing with your aunt's death?

Me... my "issues" are nowhere near as important as yours, but I had a bit of an emotional termoil with this friend who I was (am? I don't know, arrgh) attracted to, despite me being with my boyfriend... It's a long story. I told my friend about it a while ago, because I needed him to tell me that he could never see me in a romantic way. And he did, through wide eyes, and jittery hands. He didn't expect it. In any case, that's the only answer that he could have given to me for things to work out. I love my boyfriend, I would be stupid to act on my attraction for my friend. It's just disstressing. I thought I was over him, but I went to his house yesterday to watch movies and I realized that maybe I spoke too soon. And sometimes, strangest of all, I feel like I SHOULD like him, because he's pretty much everything I could ask for, but I don't feel anything. It's like that song by veritcal horizon. "He's everything you want, he's everything you need, he's everything inside of you that you wish you could be, he says all the right things at exactly the right time, but he means nothing to you and you don't know why". The strangest thing I've felt is expecting to feel butterflies and not feeling anything, feeling confused about it even though I have a boyfriend... it's very very confusing. And that's not even the whole rant XD lol.

As for what I've done today...STUDY PHYSICS! X_X I'm so sick of it. I've been studying for hours and hours. Almost done, but I feel too sick of it already XD. I'm not too fond of physics, honestly. I'm just checking my summary with the syllabus. Anyway...gotta go. I really hope you feel better!! Bye

P.S: unfortunately, my aunt lives in the U.S and I live in Costa Rica. I just needed to know there was someone who I could see face to face, even if it was once a year, that was willing to talk to me.

[ 07-10-2006, 09:57 PM: Message edited by: Nailo ]

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"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

Posts: 410 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
keekee
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Heya sweetheart,

*pokes her nose round the corner* *finds you*. Anyways enough of that lol, sorry I havent posted back so soon *hides in shame*, Ive been a tad busy. Started preparations for my birthday party which is on the 31st of july .... TOMMORROW [Embarrassed] . Heeheee I will be the grand ole' age of 17 [Embarrassed] . Anywho how is life treating you sweetheart? I owe you a huge appology as I have neglected you slightly *hugs you*.

How is you and your mother doing? And your boyfriend? How is councelling?

anyways must flee,
I will post back hunny
Love kee
xxx

--------------------
Yes, know thyself: in great concerns or small, Be this thy care, for this, my friend, is all. - Juvenal

Abuse can and will only survive and thrive if silence is kept. So lets speak out?!

Posts: 83 | From: Dagenham, Essex UK | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nailo
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! *glomp*

I have my last test tomorrow! Since it ends at 9:40 AM, afterwards I'm going out with a friend (who lives 100 m or so from the school) to downtown to visit the artist's market, and then we're going to go to all the little chinese stores on the boulevard near our house. Should be lots of fun [Smile] .

My tests have been good, except for math since I'm doing additional (they're impossible!!). I know for sure I got an A on two of my history tests and on one of my english [Smile] .

My boyfriend and I are doing great ^^ We got into singing lessons together, we're starting on Wednesday [Big Grin] . There's this big competition in October with these great prizes, and I'm going to participate!! Sooo excited ^_^ Even if I don't win, the crowd is probably going to be really big, since there's a $200 for the person who has the most people rooting for them! That means everyone's going to bring everyone they know and their dog with them!

My mom and I are doing ok. I make it a point to point it out to her when she's being cranky or mean to me. She doesn't notice unless I tell her so. I haven't gone back to councelling just yet, but I have an appointment on Wednesday.

It's ok, I understand that you can't always write to me [Smile] You have a life. I hope you had a great time on your birthday!

Bye!!

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"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

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keekee
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Hey sweetheart!
Sorry I havent posted back . I had a major op and have ben recovering, doing better now though.

News for you, I have decided to have sex for the first time since being raped, problem is I dont know how to get rid of ( or at least deal with) the flashbacks. But anyways Im ready you know?! I can feel it [Smile]

Hows you and your boyfriend doing? and mom?! Did you get your GCSE results recently?? Whats new?!

Let me know darling, miss you

kee
xxx

--------------------
Yes, know thyself: in great concerns or small, Be this thy care, for this, my friend, is all. - Juvenal

Abuse can and will only survive and thrive if silence is kept. So lets speak out?!

Posts: 83 | From: Dagenham, Essex UK | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nailo
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Hey keekee!

I guess I was away for a while too. Hope you're ok [Smile] . To sum up everything quickly, my mother and I are going to our first joint session with the psychologist tomorrow. I'm kind of nervous, since I don't know how it'll end up :S. Plus, for some reason, I've kind of blanked out on what to say. I think I'll look on the scarleteen history to see what I've posted about my troubles with her. Wish me luck!

My boyfriend and I are still doing very well. He was a bit hurt the other day because I had been pressuring him a lot, but he talked to me calmly and maturely about it, and no one got their feelings hurt; just some constructive criticism. I think that's really important, because no relationship is 100% perfect, and we can accept when we're wrong and are willing to change for each other [Smile] . We've been together over 2 years, and I feel like I want to be with him for many more to come...the only problem is when I go off to college. I don't want to study here, and he doesn't want to leave until he needs to (ie, when he needs to leave to get a specialty). In other words, I'll be leaving the country around 2 years before he does. The thought is scary, and I really don't want to break up with him because of distance... In any case...we'll work it out when we get there.

My Mocks went really well [Smile] A*, A*, A, A, A, A, B+ and E. The B+ was in Spanish because I got a little confused with the instructions. And the E was because I'm taking Additional Math. Just one girl in my class passed (class of 21). It's practically impossible! Honestly, a friend of mine was going to break down and cry during the test. The book we're using is from A level, and I'm in IGCSE! At least the teacher knows this, and therefore the mock doesn't count too much for the grade. Besides, I got an A on the IGCSE of regular maths I took last year. My real IGCSEs start in October, but I'm not worried.

In any case, I've got to go and get some more information for this french project, since tomorrow might be a bit hectic. Talk to you soon [Smile]

--------------------
"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

Posts: 410 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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