Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » MEMBER-ONLY FORUMS » Village People » Lea's Little Piece of Space

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Lea's Little Piece of Space
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 12 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hey, Hey!

It seems kinda fun to read everyone else's posts about how they are doing and what is going on in their lives, so I thought I'd give myself a little space to rant and rave about incidents in my life or to just simply babble on about nothing particularly meaninful at all. [Big Grin]

Today is my 2 and a half year mark with my boyfriend! [Smile] He's a truly remarkable person, really, and each Day I am thankful I have him in my life, so the fact that I have had him for 2 and a half years is just totally awesome.

Last night he told his mom not to make any plans for Saturday because we (His mom, dad, him, and me) are going to see See no evil at the cinemas. *(Anyone gone to see it by the way? Is it good?)

Actually, Sunday is a better day because we are going to a car show Saturday (his mom and dad each have a 69 Camero SS [Wink] ). It's the only time I have ever gone ANYWHERE (other than the store) with his parents, So I am excited.

I am also thinking of going back to college and working on my degree in Accounting/Psychology/Spanish. I am not sure if I want to further my knowledge and get a higher paying, more respectible job as an accountant, or if I want to persue my dream of becoming a child psychologist or a counselor for raped and abused women, or if I want to try this translator thing my friend offered me which has to do with the CIA. Hmm.. I still have some thinking to do, I don't have to register until August. By the way, if it is Spanish or Accounting, my current job will pay for my schooling (That may influence my decision a little)

Any way, thats it for today!

[Wink]

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, It's rainy here today. It kind of adds a little more 'ughhh' to my 'not going so well' day.

Plans have changed for this weekend. I am in a dispute with my parents, so instead of staying close, I am going away. I planned a camping trip to Dolly Sods, WV.

'West Virginia - Wild and Wonderful'

Heh, Should be 'Wild, Wonderful, and. . .Beautiful'

I love that place. The view (which on a clear day you can see 180 miles) is magnificent. It's kind of like the 'bluff' only way better. Mountains seem to chase my troubles away.

I am going hiking on the trails through the Monongalia (sp) Wilderness. Most of which have no signs and are washed out really bad making them very steep, rocky, and very difficult to follow. I am almost certain I will get lost, but it wouldnt be the first time.

There aren't really any park rangers, and it's a great place for solitude. The tree limbs only grow on one side of the trees because of the heavy wind. Plant and vegetation is really weird, I think the website mentioned it to be like that of Northern Canada. (Never been there, so I really wouldn't know) I love it.

I plan to go rock climbing and rock repelling, but it depends on the weather because it may rain a little tomorrow, and if so, the rocks will be slippery. [Frown] Nah, I don't think I wanna try that!

Anyway, News with me? I am moving out . . Tonight. I am staying with a friend I haven't really talked to in a year. I went to her baby shower not long ago, but that was really it. She told me if I ever needed anything, to call her. I felt awkward calling her today, but I had no place to go. She said I could stay with her as long as I want. I only need a place for tonight. (We were best friends from age 2 - 19 btw, Inseparable!!)

Hopefully, that will give me the support I need in the situation I am in right now.

I don't want to talk to much about it right now because I am bummed out enough and I want to forget about it for the weekend atleast, but . .

I got kicked out/moved out (well when i get off work), My car insurance was canceled by my mom (we share a policy), My cell phone (which my dad helped me get when I was 15) is disconnected (because my dad is still the primary user . . which I thought was me since I am 20 and I signed a paper when I was 18 to get it in my name), so yea . . I'm pretty much cutting all ties to my parents. (Or I guess all ties are being cut . . by my parents)

Which really is a good thing considering my mom was really physically abusive up until I was 17(and I moved away) and both of my parents are verbally and emotionally abusive. I just didn't expect to loose this all right now. I had a '6 month plan' so I could get my debts (mainly doctor bills) paid off so I could afford to be on my own, again, and away from this drama and pain.

Good thing though, My doctor appt with my Psychiatrist is today . . Good timing Mom and Dad! [Wink] . . So I can discuss my horrible situation with him. It's at 1:40.

My boss gave me permission to leave at like 9 am when things got bad, but . . where would I go?

Anyway, It is for the best I guess . . I wanted out, I needed out, I AM out. The situation is crappy, but I will pull through it.

[ 05-26-2006, 10:14 AM: Message edited by: oOo Lea oOo ]

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Aaahhhh (relief)

My appointment went well. I am keeping the same meds (Lamictal) I seem to be handling the ups and downs in my moods (Ah, the joys of Bi-Polar [Big Grin] ) and I haven't been really depressed. Nothing unbearable.

I seem to be doing pretty good (other than today).

Oh, about today, he said, "Good! I am glad you got kicked out!" He said that he was concerned about me living there, even though I did plan on leaving soon.

I took the advice I got here in getting a storage bin. My grandmother has one and its $40 a month. I told her I would split the cost if she let me put some of my stuff in there, which is really good because she couldn't really afford the $40 anyway and she doesn't have much stuff in there.

I am moving in with my Grandmother tonight! My cousin was kicked out of school (for a stupid reason) so when I called crying today to get some support from him and my grandmother, he immediately started cleaning some 'un-needed' stuff out of his room to go to the storage bin (which is 2 miles up the road so it wouldn't be bad if we needed something right away that we put in there)

Even though this situation feels really crappy, I know it's for the best. I pretend I don't mind, and that it doesn't bother me because it is best, but it does hurt me because, even though they haven't been the greatest, they are my parents.

I don't know. Well, I am off for the weekend. I will catch up with the site on Tuesday (when I come back to work)

Have a good weekend, and have a good holiday!!

[Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin]

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Karybu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Glad things seem to be looking up, Lea. Honestly, it sounds like it's for the best that you're out of your parents' place, even if it's not quite happening the way you'd envisioned. (Wow, that's a lot of apostrophes....)

Hope you have fun this weekend, too. (And I hope the weather's nice for you!)

--------------------
"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5799 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nailo
Activist
Member # 26390

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Nailo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ooh, Spanish! Lol, if you need help ask me [Razz] . I'm really not patriotic, but it is kinda cool to flaunt the good side of my ethnicity once in a while, especially at a time when lots of latin americans are shunned and considered leaf blowers >_>. Look up Costa Rica if you ever feel like splurging and travelling to a country where you can practice Spanish! But really? If your dream is to be a psychologist, GO FOR IT!

Cheer up; "es mejor estar sola que mal acompañada". Hats off for being brave and taking this so well [Smile] .

--------------------
"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

Posts: 410 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hey, Thanks! I've always wanted to visit Spain, and research Spanish History. It interests me. There's something so exciting about Madrid, and I'm not really sure why. I know almost nothing about it.

As for my weekend, I didn't get to go to Dolly Sods, But i did go camping . . with my brother's fiance. It was fun. I almost drowned (not exactly, but I did get mighty tired) in the river. Before we knew it we were about 100 yards down stream further than we wanted to be. The ledge our side was too steep to grab ahold of, and the current was too strong to swim to the other side of the river.

So, our only option . . Swim upstream.

Some parts were easy, we could break and stand. We goofed off a bit, but there was a pretty long spot (about 12-15 feet or so) where neither of us could touch, and that few feet seemed like miles. If anyone has tried swimming toward the current . . It's exhausting.

There was a rotting log hanging over the water so I grabbed a hold of a branch for a sec to catch my breath and let Brianna catch up to me (I'm a better swimmer so I also wanted to make sure she was okay) Then I swam vigorously til I could touch.

After that, we were finished with the 'let's swim in the river' idea. However, It was very refreshing considering it was 95 degrees [Razz]

So, although I did't get to hike or rock climb, I got to swim, which is also one of my fave outdoor past times, and is really good exercise!

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oh, and thanks Karybu! Things seem to be looking good, for now.

My parents and I are actually gettng along. I stayed last night in my old room, but made it pretty clear that I wasn't coming back . . ever!

The only reason why I stayed was because I upset my father pretty bad (and once a daddy's girl. . i was pretty bummed myself) so I decided to keep him company, after my mom left for work of course, and spend somet ime with my bro. *His fiance gave him the ultimatum last night - Either stop treating me like crap and lying . . or I'm gone and this time for good!*

I was so proud of her! My brother takes after my mother, and he has his bad streaks. If I were her, I'd gotten rid of him long ago . . but I'm not her. They both have their faults, to many to count actually, but her irresponsible behavior doesn't compare to his abusive behavior (even though he hasn't physically touched her . . yet) But, that's an issue for another day.

Anywho, he's pretty upset and wanting to change. So, we shall see.

Tonight is 'Cat Night! We head up to the Stray Cat (A bar/pub/restaraunt type deal with pool tables and a gambling room) in Romney every Wednesday for wings. They are awesome! 30 cents a piece on Wednesdays! Considering how expensive that food is, thats a heck of a deal! You can buy 20 wings for 6 bucks!

I just had to run some errands for work, so I stopped by the automotive store and got some more cleaning supplies. I am getting ready to detail the inside of my car, and when I get home my boyfriend and I are going to wash and wax it. It's going to take ALOT considering the fact we just went camping, the tent and everything is still in my truck, my trunk smells like river water (Ick!) and my exterior is one big dustball.

Anyone have a black car? Know how they show everything and are hard as hell to keep clean? Yea . . So it's gonna suck! But, It'll look nice when it's finished [Wink] *Oh yea . . Plus Ivory Interior [Frown] * Needless to say, I have my work cut out for me!

Ah, well, it gives me a reason to put on the ol' bikini and get some sun (which is insanely needed on my white legs [Big Grin] )

83 degrees today guys, too bad it's supposed to rain the rest of the week.

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ah, no rain so far. 90 again today! that's a 4 day streak! (89 yesterday evening)

Loving it. .

Bring on the heat! Maybe then my neighbor will call me to clean out her inground pool. *crossing fingers!*

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Bleh . . Rain Rain Go Away!!

Now honestly, I kinda like it when it's raining, but only when it's storming as well. (thunder, lightening, dark, maybe a power outage. . . nestled up with my boyfriend staring out the window watching the sky light up, nothing in the background, peaceful and quiet . . . ahhh [Smile] *dreamy sigh*)

Being at work while it's raining really stinks!!!!

Seriously, It's almost enough to put me to sleep! I'm havng a full-fledged battle with my eyelids.

[ 06-02-2006, 10:05 AM: Message edited by: oOo Lea oOo ]

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
dailicious
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 22471

Icon 1 posted      Profile for dailicious     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I can completely sympathize with the rain hatered, only change it to on and off every other day or so every couple of weeks and make it a constant, gray, irritating drizzle that makes you feel all slimey.

Then you have Wellington rain. Haha [Smile] I'm just trying to raise people's spirits in the, "It could be worse!" manner.

--------------------
Jean
aka dailicious
Scarleteen Volunteer
Love us? Want to keep us in your lives and hearts? Give what you can!

Posts: 3382 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Karybu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
I can completely sympathize with the rain hatered, only change it to on and off every other day or so every couple of weeks and make it a constant, gray, irritating drizzle that makes you feel all slimey.
Sounds like Victoria rain. It's been drizzling here for the past four days straight and I'm going nuts. And we never even get cool thunderstorms here (pretty much the only thing I miss about the Midwest)....it's just sort of....damp.

Hope the rain stops for you soon, Lea, and the nice heat returns!

--------------------
"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5799 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I make the best of it. I sleep best when it's rainining. At my grandmother's house I can hear every rain drop and it's some what soothing.

Today, it took me everything I had to wake up. I got up at 5:25, reset my alarm for 10 til 6, got a fast shower, threw some gel in my hair, out the door to my boyfriends.

I usually lay there and organize my thoughts while he sleeps, sometimes I lay there with my eyes closed, sometimes I wake him up to spend some time with him in the morning . .

Today, my internal alarm clock was on continuous 'snooze' because the instant I crawled into his warm bed, beneath the warm blankets, and wrapped my arms around his still, warm body, I fell asleep. This was at 6:05, give or take a minute or two.

I woke up at 7 minutes til 7. He had 5 minutes to get ready. Needless to say, I was late for work.

So you could see how I am struggling to stay awake here at this lonely, quite office, with the rain pecking at my roof and the empty offices around me dark, the sky grey outside my window, gloom all around . . .

*Yawn*

[ 06-02-2006, 10:57 AM: Message edited by: oOo Lea oOo ]

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Supposively, It will stop on sunday. . .
Which doesn't mean so much for a nice weekend . Bleh! [Frown]

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Actually, the weekend wasn't all that bad. I spent some time with my boyfriend . . Like always. But I spent some time alone, too.

Took some of my cousins (5 to be exact) to the community pool on sunday. Jay, the one I live with, helped me look after the girls (13, 10, 8, 5)

Halie (the 5 year old) floated around in the 13 foot water in her little flower speckled inner tube as she watched the 'big kids' including her 10 year old sister (who swims like a champ) dive off of the diving board.

I jumped off a few times, which ended quickly when I decided to see how far I can shoot straight down into the water, and on my way up my bottoms almost flew off so I had to pull them up with one hand and try to get to the top with another. Scary. . Scary . . Scary. .

But, it was fun, even though the hottest part of the day was 80 degrees and the water was extremely cold.

I am going to Ozzfest! (Heck Yes!) I got the tickets today. I had to get a 90 day note from the bank though, which sucked, because the broker my dad bought them off needed the money by tomorrow, or else we were stuck buying section 305 tickets on the internet, which is about just as bad as lawn tickets.

So, I have an appt at 4:30 to sign papers . . But I will pay the note off when I get my paycheck in 10 days! So that will look good on my credit! Thats always a good thing [Wink]

I have a dentist appointment at 4:45 right across the street, so hopefully I will be able to get off work at 3:30 today instead of 4. If not, I'm gonn have to floor it home. There are so many accidents on the Interstate. Grrr!

Things are going good at my Grandmother's. We stayed up baking cookies all night the other night. She told me she spoke with my father and told him that my mother needed to take a day off work one friday and buy some cakes and stuff. . And just stay up all night baking and talking with me. Thanks for tryin, gram! But, It's not gonna work! [Wink]

I just found out my cousin Jay has to move in with his mother after school lets out (which the last day is today so I'm not sure how soon after school lets out). I will only get to see him on weekends every once in a while. He's like my best friend. He has always been there for me. I'm gonna miss him not being around all the time. He told me it was good for one reason . . I got the room all to myself. It's really sad.

All in all, I'm doin okay!

My boyfriend, Jay, and I are going to see the Omen tomorrow. It comes out to day but Trevor didnt to see it because to day is 6/6/06 (oOoOo). I told him to watch out for red skies today. My brother had him freakin out this morning saying the world was going to end.

He's so cute when he makes no sense at all [Big Grin]

I heard on the news that this couple is getting married in a cemetery today. The guy's friend died of leukemia or something and he didn't want to be married in a church, and she didn't want to be married in a court house, so they got married by the friend's grave. She said she wanted to choose somewhere peaceful and since a cemetery is filled with silent witnesses, she thought it was the perfect place.

Tons of people are holding off having their babies if they can. Those who need 'c-sections'(sp) are delaying their dates.

Craziness.

What's all the fuss about, really. Isn't it just another day?

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I watched the Omen last night. The ending sucks! It wasn't the greatest movie of all time. Kind of disappointing, actually. Oh well. It wasn't exactly a waste of $6.50, It was pretty decent . .until the end.

Saw the guy from my past. He's out of jail, out of college, and back in town. Nice! So now I am paranoid. I made my boyfriend walk into sheetz with me last night to pay for gas and use the restroom because I was afraid I may see him.

His mom lives 4 miles from me and I have to go by her house to go to town, or come home, so if he is home, he pretty much can tell when I leave or come in. Not exactly the best feeling in the world. I am seriously thinking of getting a restraining order or something of the like.

I don't wnat to go into detail with the entire thing though. Why I want it, what happened, etc. I don't want to bring it up and get it out in the air. Ick.

But, I guess I have to get used to him being around. I can't do much about it. I know I will see him off and on, and as much as I hate that, I can't do much about it.

I don't want to always be running from something. I am finally 'okay' with my living situation, and it's been awhile since I've been able to say that. Plus, I'm happy where I am. I hate that I feel I am forced to leave when I know he is near. He seems to be everywhere I go. Grr!

I was so close to him though. He was playing basketball in the same place my boyfriend and a few of our friends were skateboarding. My brother's fiance and I were in my car and talking about him actually.

My brother mentioned earlier that he saw him (he doesn;t know about what happened, but the guy used to be our neighbor so they were pretty good friends. Hmph.) and I was drving so I didn't see him. I was glad of that.

My brother's fiance told my brother we had to go because she had to be home soon, and my brother said, "well let me go say bye to (and he said his last name and a friend's last name)" As soona s I realized theguy playing basketball 10 yards away from me was "that guy" I started crying and insisted we leave that instant.

My brother told the guy he had to go because his sister had to go home, and the guy said, "Oh, that's Lea?" I was out of there!

So, yea I am terrified.

But I am trying to deal with it the best I can.

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Today is an okay day. I got my brother a job with me. He mowes grass and does outside maintenance stuff for the county. Its part-time seasonal which basically means only for the summer. Hey, its good though. 40 hours a week at 10.00 an hour, not too shabby [Wink] Gives him plenty opportunity to save money. No bills whatsoever, means he will save almost 3000 if he keeps up working and doesn't spend his paychecks.

Man.. wish I could do that. 3000? In one summer? SAVED UP? I wouldn't have any bills except for my car and car insurance. I could pay off most of my dr bills with that much and then work on my student loans. But, it's good for him. He loves it, except for the fact that he looks lke a big, bright, red lobster [Big Grin]

I keep telling him 'sun block' 'sunblock' 'sunblock' but does he listen, obviously not. He says I'm a nagging older sister and that he can take care of himself . . until he has to ask me to rub aloe vera on his crayon red skin.

My boyfriend and I are GREAT! I am staying with him for the summer. My grandmother's house is TOO loud at nights because we have 20 grandchildren (not including me) and they are ALL (well all except the few older onces) at her house. She babysits them.

And, since my brother works with me, I am pulling 9 hr shifts, which means I gotta get up at 15 til 5 instead of 15 til 6 (which was extremely hard anyway) so even If I want to get to bed early, I cant because the kids dont go to stleep til about 10 or later.

So, I'm staying with my boyfriend on nights my grandmother has the kids.

I have a storage bin now. I got one of my own. So I have most of my stuff in there. I still ahve stuff at my parents that I need to get out, but they aren't rushing me. I think they are finally grasping the fact that this time I am NOT coming back, so i guess seeing my stuff in my old room gives them ..well . .some sort of feelings.

I guess maybe a sense that I am still around . . who knows. But things are okay so far.

Well, thats pretty much all that's going on with me lately. My uncle got signed into a band. It's semi professional.

The story, this guy (my uncles best friend) is an awesome singer who likes country music( not my pick but he still sounds awesome) so he goes to Nashville to try to get a career. He went to the guitarist of Toby Kieth's band's house and recorded a few songs. So their first cd is actually with Toby Kieth's band, but they are having a concert this saturday and releasing a 'demo' cd of the same songs but with the new band members.

I'm excited for him. They are planning a trip to Nashville, and some other 'Country Music Popular' cities to perform.

My cousin Tanner turns 2 on saturday. He's so cute. He's got the long curly hair, tye dye shirt, thing goin on. He's so CUTE!

I go 'koo koo' for babies. [Big Grin]

Sometimes I scare my boyfriend. If i see a new born baby in the mall I run to it. I even asked this lady in a Taco Bell once if I could hold her 4 month old. She reluctantly said yes. I was so excited.

I assured him I don't want any of my own for a while, if at all. [Wink]

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I went to my uncles band practice last night. . .Ahhhh . .So awesome! I love live music . . of any kind!

I'm totally amped about this saturday. They rock! If Charlie didn't only sing country, they could really make it as a rock band. The guitarist used to play heavy metal, so up until a month ago he never knew any country songs.

I told them I would be at every practice (tuesdays and thursdays)

Look. . I'm already a groupee [Big Grin] (just kidding)

I am considering college. I am searching for ones around me. I really want to get back into psychology, but I am leaning more toward cosmotology and massage therapy. I already give out free massages to friends and family (and I like doing it. It's relaxing for me, too) and I cut my boyfriends hair, I even put make up on my cousin for school on almost a daily basis (if she is at my grandmothers and I have time in the mornings)

I have always dreamed of having my own hair salon with tanning beds. Working 9-5, and them from 5-8 doing massages. Every now and again pierce some ears and permanent make up. My cousin wants to do piercings and my brother tattoos. So we used to always joke around about having our own place.

My boyfriend wants his own garage, so when he talks about his own business I get even more anxious to have my own.

Even though becoming a respectable psychologist (mainly for abused women and children) would be awesome! It seems more of a dream and less of a reality. Something like being a beautician seems more probable.

I can dream and live though I guess [Big Grin]

Who knows?

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The finding a new job thing and finding some classes for what I want to study in college thing are not working together at all.

I am so stressed. I want so much to get started in something I like doing. Not that doing bills and answering phone calls from irrate people complaining about the dumbest . . . stuff. . . ever isn't interested and fun! Yip pee . . I need a change.

I am going insane here at this small office taking crap from my co workers and my boss, not to mention the committee members and the residents.

My boyfriend leaves july 12 to go to baltimore until July 21. His birthday is July 22, so he has to be back by then. I am going to miss him, but it will give us time to be apart. We both know it is for the best.

I have to work for the head secretery of the county next week. The 5-11. I want so badly to take the 10, 11, 12 off so I can help him get ready and spend some time with him, just the two of us, because that NEVEr happens.

But since I have to be there, I can't take any of my vacation days at all. And I have deadlines the other parts of the week this month and after.

I won't have any room to take any vacationdays unil September.

I guess I am just getting overwelmed.

I think I need a higher dosage of my medicine or I need to try something new. I'm not sure. I just know that I am starting to feel down again, more often. I hate it but I try not to let it bother me, because I know I am under stress right now, and my boyfriend is being sooo supportive.

Ahh, I love him! [Big Grin]

My grandmother's place is cool. My cousin left though. He moved in with his mother. I am so alone there. My grandmother has a new boyfriend.

She would kill me if I called him her boyfriend. She says they are just friends but that lady hasn't done her hair or makeup in 10 years. (Literally, my granddad died in '96) She was all excited and had me do her hair and makeup on Sunday. She didn't go out though. I was so dissappointed. She didn't seem to mind. She talked to her hunny for 2 hours on the phone. "You Go Girl!"

Anyway, thats what's going on with me. Wish me luck on the job/school/stress thing.

Tah Tah for now! [Big Grin]

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Eek, for some reason it wouldn't let me edit.

I am researching Bi Polar. I know almost all I can about it, I think, an dI remember reading somewhere that it is hereditary. My boyfriend's mom is bi-polar. Extremely! and his little brother is as well. They have to take him to a child psychologist. I see some actions in my boyfriend that seem to be similar to those actions of my own, those of his brother, and those of his mother.

He gets so angry with everything else around him and he has recently been ignoring me when he gets angry. He says that he doesn't want to take his anger out on me so he would just rather be alone, but he doesn't want me to leave, he wants me to sit there, because he wants to be around me. All he wants to do is lay there, though, with his head down until he falls asleep. THen I leave.

He also gets horrible migraines. I rub his temple and the back of his neck until he falls asleep. His parents don't have insurance so I can't persuade him to go to the doctor. His job doesn't offer insurance. He says he will deal with it..

I wish I could help him. If anyone comes across this and has any ideas. . . reply [Big Grin]

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
AHHH! Today is my first day back to work since Thursday.

Friday, I had an asthma attack, so my friend Colton took me to the hospital to get an exam and some tests run. I had to do the whole chest exray thingy because i ran out of my Albuterol and they wanted to update their records before giving me another inhaler.

I also had my heart checked because i was having sharp chest pains so they wanted to make sure everthing was okay there as well.

My brother got fired on Friday. Now my boss is starting some serious crap with me. When I got to work this morning (I am actually in a nother office but i had to stop by my office to grab some paper work that is deadline'd today) I saw my office door open and two of the employees snopping through my desk and computer. When I got out of my car, they ran to the back of the building.

When I logged on to my computer, all of my pictures of my boyfriend and etc were off. I noticed this because I had my background as a picture of my boyfriend and I. Some of my stuff was taken down off of my bulletin board.

Looked a bit suspicious to me. when I went to the back to have my boss sign my brother's termination papers and timesheet for this past time period he didn't say word to me nor did the other employees.

So then I walked out the door and came to the administrators office.

On thursday, I had to get a disposible camera developed for my boss. When i was at the checkout looking to make sure all of them turned out, i found 3 pictures of my behind while i was bending over looking into a filing cabinet. I grabbed them out and was completely disgusted. I have them at my house.

Also, when I put in a request for the 7 of august off so i can go to ozzfest on the 6 and not have to worry about getting only 2 hours of sleep, I noticed that on the 11 and 12 (I did get to take those off by the way) he wrote 'bitch off' 'bitch off' and on the 13 he wrote 'bitch back' and on the 7 when my brother had requested off for the same reason, he wrote 'queer off'

He also told one of my friends ( a 50 year old guy who is the sweetest man ever) that he was going to have to call my brother's fiance in to take nudey pictures because he has been trying to get me to do them for months and has had no luck.

Gross!

So, on Saturday, when we had our family reunion, I asked my aunt who works with me about it, and she said to gather as much information as possible, like the pictures and the bill he signs off for them when it comes in, the calandar (or a copy if I can't manage to get the original) and a witness that he is saying such things. Then I have to go to personel.

Oh yea, about the family reunion, my brother, my friend and my brother's friend Cole (and of course my mother) went to my grandfather's for a reunion. Nothing major, about 30 people were there, not including us.

Well, my mother is hell bent on getting me with coleton that she managed to persuade my entire family to tell me how worthless my boyfriend is and how Coleton would provide for me better (since his family is wealthy) and all kinds of bull.

My uncle even made a toast welcoming him into the family. I sat there openjawed the whole time. I told Coleton afterwards that I was sorry for the embarassment, but he enjoyed it.

Since then, my boyfriend and I have been fueding my family and Coleton.

He even came to my boyfriend's house one night while we were sleeping with 2 of his friends to argue with my boyfriend. At first, they knocked on the window. I heard the knock but I was petrified, my boyfriend said it was my imagination and we fell back to sleep. Then, I heard pounding on the door. I said "babe, they are out there again." He assured me there was nothing to worry about and put his arms around me, but then his mom barged in our room and demanded he got up because three guys were asking for him outside. She also said that it was too late and they are not coming in the house.

He was out there for hours. I was woken up in the middle of the night because I rolled over and the bed was empty beside me. I looked on the top bunk and my boyfriend was laying up there. I asked him what was wrong and he said he had a lot on his mind. We took a walk outside to sit on the picnic table and he was almost in tears.

He told me how much he loved me and how he didn't want to loose me. He thought that since coleton practically lives with my father that i woul grow close to Cole and leave him for cole.

I told him that I wasn't interested at all in Coleton or his money.

Yesterday, After I got back from my granddad's I washed my car and waited for my boyfriend to call me to join him at his aunt's for a party.

When I got there (she lives 1/2 a mile from us) my cousin's Fiance blasted me with water from a flash flood super soaker. Then we played some volleyball, had a waterfight, Ate some really awesome grilled food. (Burnt hotdogs on the grill . . mmmm)

Silly me, after i had gotten some dry clothes on I saw my boyfriend at the side of the house, he sweetly called to me "Babe, come here." i saw the water balloon in his hand and replied with a 'Huh uh!" Then he assured me he wouldn't get me wet that he wanted a hug becase we were alone and he hadn't given me one since I had arrived. As soon as I steped close he smiled and before I could back away I got drenched with a bucket of water. (the second time yesterday) by my cousin's fiance.

Niiice!

So, I had to borrow some clothes off of his cousin. Luckily she had a size 1 in her closet from way back when.

Then, when it got dark, we sat in fold out chairs beside each other sharing a blanket over our sholders. It was lightening and perfectly scattered lightening bolts were reaching their way accross the sky. It sprinkled rain but we didnt care.

I think it was peaceful for both of us. It let me know that he trusted me when i said nothing was going on with Coleton and I.

And I'm sure it was peaceful for him because he could tell how much i love him and that I would never do anything to ruin what we have together intentionally.

I am still trying to search for a new job. i am havng no luck whatsoever.

My boyfriend's cousin just got out of beauty schol so this evening after work i am going to stop by and she will give me info.

Any-who.

That's what's going on in my life.

Interesting, huh?

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Guess who's back?

Yea, I've been having some severe technical difficulties . . but, im on board and back on track!

How's everyone at Scarleteen?

Since I've been away . . these past two months ( [Frown] ) .. My life as changed direction.

I ditched the cosmetology idea. Yea, sounds fun, but I am going more in the medical direction. I am enrolled this semester at a nice college in Maryland. I take night classes. Monday I have Medical Terminology (which I just got a 98% on my exam! I bout died!) from 6-9pm and Tuesday thru Thursday I have Algebra (Ick!)

I'm studying Massage Therapy at the moment (Well, that is my intended major) but after my dad's surgery on Tuesday (Which went really well) I am leaning more toward nursing!

Wow, it's been so long, how do I catch up?

I am living with my grandmother still. I stay a few nights a week with my boyfriend. We are doing fabulous! Getting ready to celebrate a new anniversary. [Big Grin] 2 more months.

I'm getting pumped about a new concert. Atreyu is coming back around, solo this time, and I will catch their concert in October which will make my 3rd Atreyu concert. At ozzfest, I got autographs and talked to each of the band memebers. The sweetest one was Brandon, the drummer, of all the pictures I took while I was talking to them, his was the most sincere. He acted like he was just another face in the crowd, no one special. It was amazing. He is one of my boyfriend's favorite drummers (my boyfriend plays drums incase I haven't mentioned before) so when Brandon let me take a picture of him and when we talked to him for the few minutes we did, I seriously thought my boyfriend was going to faint.

I recently changed my hiar color. I bought a frost kit and put highlights in my very artificial black hair. It turned out with blonde, very blonde, red, and orange highlights, which really doesn't look that bad. I've gotten so many compliments. It's a little annoying actually. People like it so much that for the first day or so I seriously thought of dying back to some dramatic color.

I got a new tattoo. I didnt get the memorial I talked about, but I did get something of the sort. My grandma passed away a year ago (I'm sure I have mentioned) and now she is like the shining star lighting my life. So, I got a star on my inner right wrist with angel wings and flames. The wings symbolize her flying away from the pain she was in (she had emphezema sp? and asthma. She died of CPD? I think) and the flames coming off of the star symbolize her memory and her grace burning on forever. I like it.

I am working on the memorial though. It is still in the process. I saw it when I was getting this one done and my tattooist is doing a really nice job drawing it up. I can hardly wait.

New job opportunities are lining up. i got an offer in the mail for a job with a different government agency. They offered me a 'step up' position with $4 more an hour. Not bad I guess, I'll have to weigh it out though.

All in all, I'm okay!

It's good to be on again . .

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm falling a little behind on my progress. I have been feeling really down lately. I've had some severely manic episodes. I am so irritable. I have an appointment on Monday, so maybe I will be able to find some sort of peace. I started a mood chart. I am working on finding what triggers my episodes. It's really stressful. I found out that I can't have caffiene, which really isn't that bad because I really only drink teas and juices and my teas are caffiene free and herbal.

I also started a journal. It didn't work the first 10 times, hopefully I will have more luck this time.

I have an appointment with my gyn on the 31st. I am trying to steer away from hormonal birth control, but I am very concerned about other forms. I really don't like the idea of any of it, honestly, but I just don't feel comfortable without SOMETHING else.

I am having some really weird feelings when it comes to my relationship. I love my boyfriend completely, but sometimes I get so irritated and upset. It's like my mind just won't let me trust him.

And nightmares and weird dreams, my mind is just going crazy.

hopefully, I will be able clear some of this confusion on Monday.

--Oh and my grandmother died with COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) Just thought I'd clear that up.

I'm planning a special weekend for my boyfriend on our anniversary. I can hardly wait. HOpefully I am out of this 'phase' by then and can actually enjoy it.

Bipolar is so stressful. It really sucks that it is an ongoing thing. It's so hard to live with. It's a continuous agonizing headache that just won't go away, EVER!

I have been researching Bipolar a lot lately. Mostly to gather enough information outside my brain to do a "Disease Paper" on it for my Medical Terminology class, but also to see if I can find anything ELSE about it that may be able to comfort me enough until my appointment. I have so many questions. You'd think after I've had this disorder for so long and have been treating it, I'd understand it alot more.

All this going through old psych books and reading the net on different psych related topics, (And going through the DSM-IV - Which is a very interesting manual by the way) I am even more confused as to what I want to study. I should have stuck with my psych major.

Grr. Why does everything have to be so complicated? [Razz]

[ 10-20-2006, 01:18 PM: Message edited by: oOo Lea oOo ]

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Leabug
Activist
Member # 27966

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Leabug     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi Lea,

This is a totally random out-of-nowhere question I'm sure, lol, but if Lea is your real name, how do you pronounce it??

My name's Leanne and my nickname is Lea, and everyone says it "lee", rather than "lee-ah", but my boyfriend keeps saying that it makes no sense [Razz]

haha, totally random I know, but I'm a curious person [Big Grin]

--------------------
Lea

Posts: 2332 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Activist
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ha! If you think that is hard (and that is only a nickname as well) try my full name. Aaleaaudrianna. [Big Grin] Many mispronounce it as LEAH but, it doesn't matter. It is a rather odd spelling. I can see how people would get confused. [Big Grin]

By the way, my full name is pronounced: Ay-lee-odd-ree-ah-na.

Try learning that as a kid [Big Grin]

--------------------
And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Leabug
Activist
Member # 27966

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Leabug     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Wow, Aaleaaudrianna?? That's a mouthful [Razz] Out of curiosity, what's the origin of your name?

[Wink] i guess people mispronouncing Lea isn't as big a deal comparatively then!!

--------------------
Lea

Posts: 2332 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3