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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » MEMBER-ONLY FORUMS » Village People » John Doe

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Author Topic: John Doe
John Doe
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Member # 3836

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Well I just tried this before and the board rejected my post so I'll try again. I hope I get some replies, otherwise this is just a dairy that everyone can read.

I am 42 yo, male, 3 kids (10g, 8b,5b) and in the process of getting a very nasty divorce. I am a very succesful wall St. type. My spelling is not that good because I have dyslexia. I grew up in an upper middle class suburb, dmographically it was 1/2 catholic, 1/3 protestant (Episcopalian and pryesberterian) and 1/3 Jewish, 99.5% white.
I have also always had a great interest in kids. I have an unusally good ability to talk to them and to take them seriously. I am also sexually attracted to boys (from about 8 to 16). I HAVE NEVER ACTED ON THIS. I have always channeled this interest into productive paths, as a coach, a den leader, a friend, a mentor etc.
My divorce is related to my wife finding out about my attraction. She is being as nasty and as petty about it as you can imagine, even going to the point of trumping up a domestic violence charge against me to get a restraining order thus preventing me from seeing my kids. She is intent on aleinating them from me.
Right now I am somewhat obsessed with gender and parenting issues, particularly the role of fathers. Obviously that is because my role as a father is under attack, and it is a role that I see as central to my being. The fact that my own father is seriously ill also plays a role in this.
My parents divorced when I was 17 and I have a good relationship with both parents and both step parents.

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"and these three, faith hope and love abide, and the greatest of these is love"


Posts: 475 | From: ohio | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pixie69
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Aloha John, welcome to our little village I'm sorry your ex-wife is being so icky about that whole situation, what's wrong with people these days?? Well, I do hope that things turn out for the best. But actually, I'm posting to ask you if it would be okay for me to start a Pedophilia thread somewhere, where people could ask questions that maybe you could answer (if you're comfy with that). We've done it a few times and it's turned out really well (like about intergender and transgender and stuff) because a lot of people don't know too much about it, and it's just good to learn more. Anyways, if that would be okay just let me know, and if there are anything that you don't want to talk about, just drop me a line at Pixie69@mindspring.com (not my main e-mail, so it may take me a few days to respond)

Brittany


Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
John Doe
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Well unless you haven't guessed "John Doe" is not my real name. As such i am open to discussing anything. In fact I rather welcome it, because it is a very misunderstood area. (ie the terms pedophile and child molestor are NOT synonyms). Most of the so call scientific data on the subject is very misleading since it is based on a very skewed sample, ie the only people who are studies are those who are either in jail or in mental institutions. So start up the thread and I will respond.

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"and these three, faith hope and love abide, and the greatest of these is love"


Posts: 475 | From: ohio | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ThisGuy
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Well you're here to set the record straight now.

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Britney, Christina, Mandy, Jessica...
No more human cloning!


Posts: 915 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
John Doe
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Pixie startede a thread on this subject in Alternative Sexuality, come on over an join in Guy.
Posts: 475 | From: ohio | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
John Doe
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I haven't written in this for a while, but today I just sort of fell like doing a little writting about some of my feelings and what I have been going through. I know I may sound a little disjointed at times.
I have been thinking alot about so many of the hassels of being a guy in this society, especially a guy who likes kids. I'm not talking about the sexual part here. But people veiw me suspiciously since I like to hang out with and talk to kids. If I were a woman, there would be no problem with me doing that. I have even been thrown out of the local YMCA, why? because I was sepnding "too much time" talking with kids there. I never laid a finger on anybody, and the sort of things I was talking about were all 100% positive (how is school, what sort of things do you like or dislike about school, what sorts of books have you been reading. Of course nobody would give me a straight answer as to why at the time. Now, I know many of these kids, they are friends of my kids. Yet still, any guy who goes out of his way to be interested in kids is punished for it. And then the society bemoans the fact that guys are not interested in or nurturing towards kids. I go out of my way to be the best dad possible, spending every free moment I can with my kids, and the courts still favor my wife. I get them every other weekend and wednesdays for dinner. It seems like society thinks that dad's aren't real parents, that mens feelings just don't count. I know I shouldn't be going on about all of my own problems here, as an adult, I am here to support you kids. Yet sometimes it is just so dammed hard. Even here I have been yelled at for expressing my views to forcefully about the sorts of things that men go through. yeah, most of the readers have not gone through a divorce as a parent, although many have as children. Perhaps my experience may shead some light on what your own dad went through durring a divorce. Also, statistically half of you will at some point in your life. That is a much bigger percentage than the number of you who will be raped or have abortions. I'm here because I am interested in kids, and what they are going through. My avenues for knowing kids in real life keep getting blocked, so knowing people on line is one way of my dealing with it.
The experience at the Y seems to be repeating itself, I recently was told that my month to month lease on my apartment would not be renewed, so i have to get out. Nobody will tell me why, but I can only surmise that it is either due to rumors that my wife has spread about me, or because I do spend time getting to know some of the kids in the apartment complex. (I have always paid my rent on time and I have not been throwing wild parties)
I have decided to buy a house in the same school district as my kids. Two reasons, first I have to move, and how would I explain to my kids (and eventually to the court) why I decided to move to another apartment, just when the kids were starting to make some friends where I was. Second, and more importantly, it might give me a better shot at more time and custody of my kids. But I am really scared of moving into the belly of the beast, the town where my wife has spread the rumors. You know that your reputation is the most important thing that you have, execpt for your children. My wife has been out to distroy mine.
Maybe that is why I am so sensitive on issues like false accusations, and on the presumption of innocence. I know what it is like to go through it. i plead guilty to a disorderly conduct charge, because the penaties for being convicted were less than the penalties for being charged but "presumend innocent".

Posts: 475 | From: ohio | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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