Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Safer Sex & Birth Control » Risky?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Risky?
pretzelscommander
Neophyte
Member # 110810

Icon 1 posted      Profile for pretzelscommander     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
My "partner" and I (still in an undefined sort of relationship) have been getting more intimate lately, and I'm unsure of how to make our experience pleasurable without risking pregnancy. I am on the pill, but I don't trust it 100% to not use a condom for sex. We've mostly been dry humping, which is fine and all but last time he pulled his penis out and I was in my underwear. The cloth irritated my vagina a lot (although it wore off by the morning), but when he asked if I should take my panties off, I declined. I'm not sure that we could have continued without having sex, which isn't necessarily what I wanted to do right then, especially because I don't know whether or not he had a condom/lube available. Is there some way to *not* have sex but still do some clothing-less dry humping? I'm not ready or willing to be pregnant, and becoming pregnant could cause some problems for me physically.
Posts: 7 | Registered: Jul 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So, here's the scoop about a 0% risk of pregnancy.

To get that, what we'd need to do is simply always avoid/not do any:
- direct genital-to-genital contact, like intercourse or naked genital-t-genital rubbing (unless the other person had the same kind of genitals we do), or
- any direct contact between your genitals and fluids from anyone's penis.

And that really only takes a few things to do -- of so many options! -- off the table.

Does that get you covered? Or, would you like to talk about ways to engage in those kinds of sex not with a 0% chance of pregnancy, but with so low a risk as to be as close to that as it gets?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
pretzelscommander
Neophyte
Member # 110810

Icon 1 posted      Profile for pretzelscommander     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I know that there will always be a risk [Big Grin] I mean, is it worth using a condom when not being penetrated?
Posts: 7 | Registered: Jul 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Condoms are the only thing we have that protect people from infections and reduce the risk of STIs during genital sexual activities (same goes for dental dams and gloves). So, from that standpoint alone, yes.

And I know, I know, most of you feel strongly that STIs aren't a risk for you, but the problem is that that doesn't square with the reality that it's your age group with the highest rates of them. The truth is, for people 15-25, there isn't a time in life you are more at risk than now.

But too, methods of contraception are also things that people get psychological benefits from. So, if a condom makes you feel safer with certain activities, and you want to feel safer, then yes, I'd say the peanuts condoms cost and the miniscule amount of effort using them requires? So worth it. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
pretzelscommander
Neophyte
Member # 110810

Icon 1 posted      Profile for pretzelscommander     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thank you so much!! [Smile]
Posts: 7 | Registered: Jul 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Sure thing. [Smile]

I know you mentioned in your other post, too, that you are totally new to any of this, but your partner is not. Is the pace of this feeling okay to you? Including things like having time before any activity, at all, to discuss having condoms and lube available (and getting some yourself, so you always have them, not just your partner), talk about safer sex and talk about what you do and don't want yet and feel ready for?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3