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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Safer Sex & Birth Control » Sexually active?

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Author Topic: Sexually active?
Member # 108606

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Hello everyone [Smile]
So I made an appointment with my doctor to get on birth control pills. I'm certain that she'll ask me if I'm sexually active, but the thing is I don't know how to answer that. I always thought that "sexually active" meant that you have actually had sex, as in strictly intercourse. But now, I'm in a serious relationship and I've realized that there are so many other things related to sex that aren't actually intercourse. And my boyfriend and I have pretty much done everything except intercourse. So my question is, how should I answer that question? Am I sexually active? Is it just a matter of personal beliefs?

I have another question that's kind of unrelated. I've been expecting my period but I still haven't gotten it. The past few months I got it: August 29, October 2, October 29, and then November 26. So obviously, it's pretty irregular, as I never got one all through September. But it's starting to worry me since I'm not having any symptoms or signs that it's coming. Usually before I get my period, I kind of break out a little on my face, I have cramps and I feel kind of restless, like I can't sit down too long. But I'm not having any of that. As I mentioned before, I haven't had sex, but I have done things such as manual and oral sex. So pregnancy shouldn't be a concern, why else might it be late?

Long question I'm sorry, but thank you to whoever takes the time to answer. Thank you

Posts: 17 | From: Michigan | Registered: Oct 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 79774

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If you're doing sexual things that aren't intercourse, then yes, you're sexually active. Manual sex and oral sex, for example, are very definitely sex, and as it's possible to transmit STIs that way, it's also medically relevant to say that that is being sexually active. Sometimes "sexually active" is a cultural/beliefs thing, and in day-to-day life, you have the right to answer that or not answer that however you want. When it's for medical or educational purposes, though, professionals who are working with you will be able to serve you best if they have accurate information.

So, the best idea is to tell the doctor what kinds of sex you've had: if you've had oral or manual sex and whether you've used barriers for those, or if you've simply done grinding while clothed. As it's a consultation about birth control, it would make sense to tell the doctor if you think you might want to have intercourse or genital-to-genital contact in the near future, too, so that the doctor can make the best decisions with you about your contraceptive needs.

Do you know how to count your cycle length - that is, going from the first day of your period as Day 1? Bodies do occasionally do different things, so pre-menstrual symptoms may not be the same every cycle. How long have you been having periods? For the first 5 years, they can be a bit irregular. It's also nothing to worry about if a period is late, or even missed, and there are a whole host of possible reasons. You can have a read of this: M.I.A or, Dude, Where's My Period? for more information.

The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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