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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Safer Sex & Birth Control » The pill -pros, cons, etc. (Page 1)

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Author Topic: The pill -pros, cons, etc.
bookwormfairy
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I'm debating whether I should go on the pill. The pros would be that it will regulate my periods and it will be extra protection against pregnancy. The cons would be the side effects, as minimal as it may be, I have to keep it from my parents and I have to pay out of pocket for it because Im afraid that if I use my insurance a bill or something will be sent home and they will find out.

The reason Im thinking about going on the pill now is because my boyfriend and I were talking about how we can be safe when we do have sex and he said he would prefer I was an birth control so that if the condom fails we would be ok. We are a long way off from intercourse though, as of right now the only type of sex we are having is manual.

Ive been considering going on the pill for a while for helping with my menstrual cycle so Im not considering just going on the pill for my boyfriend. Im going to planned parenthood to get them if I do. I just dont know whether I should get them though.

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~Lillian

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Heather
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I'm going to answer these questions, but when I'm done, I'd also really like to be able to talk with you about what feels like continued focus on sex from this boyfriend that I understand you have now and clear, several times, is NOT a focus you are ready for. But that's up to you: it's not what you asked about, so I'm not going to push a conversation on you you don't want to have.

So, with the pill, just to first be clear, the pill doesn't actually "regulate periods." People on the pill stop having menstrual periods, and instead have withdrawal bleeds. Way more often than not, then, cyclical vaginal bleeding happens during or around the placebo period, so if a person finds that with periods, they were all over the place, rather than happening somewhere around once every 25-35 days, then yes, people will usually see a change.

In terms of payment, you have the option of using a clinic with sliding scale fees so it may cost you very little. Those clinics also absolutely will not bill your home: you pay cash when you're there.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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bookwormfairy
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I knew that about the pill, bad choice of words, considering I browse the message boards a lot.

Sex was brought up because I printed the sexual inventory checklist and we filled it out together so that he knows what my boundaries are and what triggers me, etc. when we, or more specifically I am, ready to get more intimate which won't be for a while like at least for another 4 months, probably longer.

I know planned parenthood has sliding scale fees, it will be cheaper than making an appt. with my gyn. I just have to call them tomorrow to ask what the costs would be. Thanks for clarifying the whole bill thing.

[ 03-10-2011, 06:38 PM: Message edited by: bookwormfairy ]

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~Lillian

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Heather
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Sure.

And if you want to talk about the concerns I voiced -- especially since last we talked, I had understood you set a firm boundary with him about not bringing sex up again, period, for some time, and obviously it's come up and some kinds of sex have also been going on -- I'm around.

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bookwormfairy
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Sure, that would be fine, lets move to this thread then - http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/3/t/011064/p/1.html#000019

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~Lillian

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bookwormfairy
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I called planned parenthood to ask about pricing, they told me that they can't give me the price until they see me. I'm thinking about just going to my gyn. since its closer even though I have to pay a copay. I called the insurance to ask about the pricing of the pills and the guy said it could range from $5-50 depending whether it was generic or not.

Second thought, going to PP. I checked online to see what type of pills were covered and most of them cost $50.

[ 03-11-2011, 10:24 AM: Message edited by: bookwormfairy ]

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~Lillian

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Heather
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But PP has a sliding scale, so that doesn't mean that's what they'd cost you. What you pay them is based on your income.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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bookwormfairy
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I meant I went on my insurance website to check prices and most cost $50.

So which would be cheaper PP or my gyn.? The closest PP is 30 min. away while my gyn is 10 min but copay is $25 so it evens out, ugh it's so hard deciding where to go.

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~Lillian

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Heather
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It sounds to me like what this really boils down to is if you're able to disclose to your Mother, since if you use your insurance, she is going to know.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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bookwormfairy
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I made an appt. at 1:50 today at PP.

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~Lillian

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bookwormfairy
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I got a 3 months supply of Sronyx and 2 EC.

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~Lillian

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bookwormfairy
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I have a question, the nurse told me to start my first pack the Sunday of the week I get my period but the doctor told me to start it on the day of my period. I read the info sheet that came with it and it says to start on the Sunday of my period. I also checked online and it says I can either start it on the day of my period or on the Sunday of my period. Now I'm confused, when do I start my first pack?

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~Lillian

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Heather
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You can start either way, whichever you prefer.

The only real difference with that Sunday start, as opposed to the first day start is that people who start that way are usually less likely to have withdrawal bleeding on the weekends, which some folks appreciate, while others could give a hoot.

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bookwormfairy
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Ok thanks, I don't really care when I get the withdrawal bleeds so I'll start when I get my period then. Btw, I replied to my other post on friday and added some more to it yesterday.

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~Lillian

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Heather
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Oh, I didn't see! I'll take a look in a little bit. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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bookwormfairy
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I started my pack on monday, I have to go somehwere tomorrow and I might not be able to take the pill on time. Is it ok if I take it an hour late/early? I'm sure it is but just checking.

[ 03-15-2011, 08:51 PM: Message edited by: bookwormfairy ]

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~Lillian

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Karybu
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An hour either way is totally fine. Generally you just want to aim for the same time of day - morning, afternoon, or evening.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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bookwormfairy
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I'm on my second week of my first pack and the spotting is getting annoying. I've been spotting ever since friday when I had sex with my boyfriend. I'm wondering if this is caused because I just started the pill or the sex? I mastubated a while ago and now I'm spotting a little heavier.

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~Lillian

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Karybu
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Could be either, but spotting is a very common side effect when starting the pill. Generally, you want to give your body about three months to adjust, and then if you're still having side effects after that, look into a different brand or different method.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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bookwormfairy
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My mom knows that I'm on the pill now and like I predicted she is against it. She thinks it's going to give me a blood clot, make me infertile, etc and I'm going to die.

She says she was on the pill after my brother was born for eight years and hears stories from her clients so she knows whats she is talking about.

Honestly, I think all of this is over exaggerated. Is it possible for me to get a blood clot, yes but hightly unlikely considering I have the lowest dose of of hormones in the pill. As for the other things, it's possible it could happen but again highly unlikely.

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~Lillian

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Heather
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Maternal mortality rates are much higher every single year than deaths from hormonal contraceptives are. In other words, far, FAR more women die due to pregnancy than from methods of contraception.

The other thing to know, and maybe pass on, is that when you get a prescription method, the doctor who prescribes it checks your health history to be sure you're low-risk for things like blood clots. If you're not, they won't prescribe a method for you that poses big risks to your health.

The pill is also not associated with causing infertility, save temporarily (obviously).

Is your Mom saying that when she used the pill, she wound up having health issues because of it?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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bookwormfairy
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No she didn't but she still says that I could wound up with them. Then again she is against abortion, people having sex and planned parenthood so you can see the angle where she's coming from.

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~Lillian

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Heather
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By all means, they are one risk of birth control pills. They're also a risk with pregnancy, inactivity, diabetes, being overweight, smoking, and eating lots of red meat or fatty foods and a host of other things.

So yes, blood clots are a risk, but they're a very small one when you don't have other health conditions (like being pregnant or diabetic) and habits (like smoking, being inactive and eating red meat) that make them more likely.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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bookwormfairy
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I told her that all the things she said won't happen but it still didn't convince her and I don't know what else to do to get her to accept it.

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~Lillian

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Heather
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Probably there isn't anything you can do. You do have the right to use that medication if you want to, and you may just have to accept she's unaccepting for now.

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bookwormfairy
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Yeah I know, but I feel bad about that because she says that I'm going behind her back, lying to her and betraying her which I'm not know that she knows and knows why I'm on the pill. Hopefully she comes around soon.

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~Lillian

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Heather
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But she knows you're on the pill now, right? So, it's all out in the open.

Or, is there something else she thinks you're not being honest about? Whatever it is, are you being honest about that with her or not?

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bookwormfairy
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Yes, she knows and I'm being honest with her as much as I can.

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~Lillian

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Heather
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Then you're not lying or betraying her, and you know that, even if she's claiming that you are.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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bookwormfairy
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Hi guys, quick update and a question. I have found a wonderful boyfriend who cares about me. He is protective, nice, smart, and his family likes me. I've relapsed into my eating disorder, but I'm doing ok now and my depression has gotten slightly worse. But in all, I'm doing well and am mostly happy.

Here's my question, my boyfriend is concerned that I might be pregnant. We had unprotected sex yesterday. I just started the pill last Sunday and theoretically I should be protected after I am on it for a week. The week before I started the pill I got my period, so basically, I started taking the pill the day my period ended. I am fairly sure I'm not pregnant, but I wanted to post this to ease my boyfriends worries.

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~Lillian

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September
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Welcome back, bookworm!

If you start the pill on the first day of your period, or the first Sunday after the start of your period, you can generally rely on the full protection of the pill after the first week.

So, if you have been taking the pill as directed (same time every day, no late or missed pills), you should not have any reason to worry.

(Also, just a reminder: as the pill does not protected from STIs, it's a good idea for both you and your partner to get checked before ditching condoms. So if you haven't done that yet, now is a great time to get caught up on that.)

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bookwormfairy
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Hi guys, it has been a while since I have been on here. Anyway, I have a question, I am going on a school trip to the Caribbean where its going to be 80 + degrees and the place I am going to stay at has no air conditioning. Will the birth control pill be ok in this temperature if I keep it in the shade? Also I will mostly likely be taking them at an earlier time than usual from 12pm to 8 am for that week, this won't affect anything correct?

And, update on relationship status and self and from last post about my boyfriend and the pill. We have been in a monogamous relationship for almost two years now- two years in two more weeks!!! He graduated college last year and I will be graduating next year hopefully, with us planning to get engaged in another two years or so. This relationship came as a surprise to both of us as we both weren't looking for a relationship at that time along with the fact that it started with a one night stand where alcohol was involved none the less, but in the end, I guess it was fate since our friends envy our relationship, albeit, as weird/ dysfunctional/semi abusive(as in we mock fight verbally/physically and threaten to kill each other) looking it is to those not in the circle of friends. Another big reason why I wasn't looking for a relationship at that time was that I was still trying to figure things out over everything that happened that last two years prior and focusing on taking care of myself. But, fate is a strange thing and two years later I am with a guy that knows all my secrets, ones that haven't told anyone but him and with him probably being my perfect half/soul mate. As for the last post I made several months ago, as you can see I am back on it. I went back on about three weeks after I got off the pill. Due to me not liking how our relationship was getting strained, the fights and the number one reason being that my boyfriend invalidated all my reasons for getting off the pill by using logic and reliable sources to disprove/ ease my reasons/concerns about being on it.

Now on to self, I haven't been in therapy for about a year now, but my boyfriend and I did have a couples therapy session in the summer over my cutting. My eating disorder has been gone for a year or so now and I haven't cut in maybe six months. Depression is mostly gone, some setback here and there but other than that I am happy. I am almost done school and making plans on what to do in the future.

And thank you guys for all your help through the last almost five years, wow has it been that long, I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't found this site at that time.

[ 02-28-2014, 08:49 PM: Message edited by: bookwormfairy ]

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~Lillian

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Heather
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It is GREAT to see you. [Smile] I have been wondering how you are, and think of you often.

You pill patient information leaflet lists what temperatures the pill needs to be kept within. have you had a look at it? If not, that's where to look for that information.

With timing changes, so long as you do not take a pill any more than 12 hours later, you are good. To play it safe when you are going to be dealing with a big time difference, you can simply err on the other direction by taking it earlier (so, the pill you'd take at 8 am the next day, you take at 8 am the day before).

I'm not going to get on board with "play" abuse, for perhaps very obvious reasons, and that is something I find worrisome, and would suggest you see if you can't both put a fast stop to (again, for reasons which are likely obvious, as you know better than anyone that abuse and fear of harm isn't funny). Two people who earnestly care about one another can easily find other ways to be playful, especially when for at least one of them, abuse and fear of harm have been very, very real.

So, I'm glad you're happy, but I also hope you're earnestly safe with this person (who knows, maybe this "play" is your way of testing that you're safe, for all I know, but again, IMO, I'd suggest healthier ways to do that), and feel able to get yourself out of anything that is not truly healthy. You deserve to be happy, healthy and safe, and deserve relationships that are all of those things, not which are dysfunctional or in any way abusive.

I think -- hope -- you already know we all were glad to be able to help you, and could not be more glad you were able to get away from the abuse in your life.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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bookwormfairy
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I'll check the pamphlet and the "play" abuse is done more in a joking manner than anything. In the beginning of the relationship I was somewhat physically abusive so him - slapping/hitting him when I got mad but we talked through it and figured out ways to avoid getting mad to the point of hitting him along with figuring out why I do it since in the other "relationships" I never hit. He is against any type of abuse to any person to the point where it really upsets him to the point of extreme anger/crying so the whole, planning each others murders and name calling is just our weird relationship thing we do with usually sex occurring prior or sometime after that usually. So I don't think it is something to worry about. Also there have been points where some of the "play" abuse has brought back past abuse in terms and memories and feelings but when it comes up I tell him and we work on ways to avoid it from happening again. We have very good communication in our relationship and our personalities and interests are almost equal to each other which helps a lot.

[ 02-28-2014, 09:26 PM: Message edited by: bookwormfairy ]

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~Lillian

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Heather
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Well, I'm not going to engage you in more of a conversation about that then you want and without you asking for it, and who knows, maybe you're talking about some exceptionally dark gallows humour and I'm just not getting it.

But if you ever want to really check in around all this to be sure it really is healthy and safe, especially given your history, I'm certainly always open and available to you for that.

[ 02-28-2014, 09:23 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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