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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Safer Sex & Birth Control » girlfriend said no to using a condom

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Author Topic: girlfriend said no to using a condom
Member # 31632

Icon 1 posted      Profile for datlee142     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
hi, im 16 and so is my girlfriend

we have had sex once before (unprotected) so after that i decided to go out and get some condoms and also get myself checked out as i was freaked out about getting anything... (1st time after all)

now 1 week later she stayed over again and today we had sex again and we were about to do it and i said i better close the door so i did... then went to my wardrobe to get box of condoms i already had open and passed them to her and she said "we dont need them" i said "yes we do" and she threw them on the floor, then we carryed on making out and i repeatively asked why not...
she kept replying with "just dont..."
she also said "why do u have something" of course i replyed with no as its true that i dont.

so now im freaked out that she could of said no to using it with other people... (she has been out with guys that have been 4+ years older than her, yes crazy i know dont see wtf she was thinking)

so yea after all the asking of the questions from me, we ended up doing it anyway even tho i kept getting the condoms out (ripped 1 off and was saying shall i put it on then) and she just ignored me grabbed it off me and threw it to the side...

so after that we kept making out then finaly doing it (unprotected f**king never doing that again)
to make matters worse after we did she was bleeding... (i only got the head of my penis inside her i didnt come inside her or anything pulled it out and let her jerk me off on to her stumuck)

quickly said i better go have a shower (since we were going out afterwords) was abit of blood on my penis but not very much mostly on my stumuck (it must of come out after we had sex) so after i got back from having a shower she was all dressed with my bed neatly made (covering up the blood on my bed which had been cleaned up abit, i checked after i ran back up stairs to get my keys)

so now im totaly confused and after abit of support on what to do.

im going to talk to her about it tomorrow when i get to see her but it will be abit wierd for me to go "how come u didnt want to use a condom on monday?" ill work something out... will have to drag her away from her friends and get some time alone with her.

also she said that she would like to ahve a kid between now and when shes 26... i told her thats f**king stupid that she should wait till shes atleast 20+ (said atleast 25 before she said now - 26)

so im all freaked out she trying to get herself pregnent or something?!?!

just finished sticking my bed covers in the wash and scrubbing the blood stains out of the matrress.

i love her and everything but i dont want to risk f**king up my health cos she refused to let me wear abit of rubber...

[ 11-27-2006, 04:38 PM: Message edited by: datlee142 ]

Posts: 4 | From: england | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 30315

Icon 1 posted      Profile for LucysDiamonds     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
First off, I assume she's not on hormonal birth control (like the pill)?

You know, you CAN say no to her. If you're afraid that you're risking your own health (which you absolutely are, especially if she has been sexually active with other partners, and has had the same attitude about not practicing safe sex!), and if you don't want to have the responsibilities of being a father (completely and totally justifiable - you are SIXTEEN, after all), it is well within your rights to tell her that you flat-out will not have sex unless you're using some form of protection.

Also, I don't know how much this would help, but you might try having her look at this article:
I Want it Now!

So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky
As someone told me lately
Everyone deserves the chance to fly

Posts: 365 | From: DC | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 25983

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Lauren-     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Lucy's right on the ball. From now on, you've got to be more assertive when it comes to issues like this. If you both haven't been screened for STIs (two full screens, 6 months apart, WHILE remaining monogamously paired for one full year) and she's not on another method of contraception, it's just as simple as No condom = No sex.

There's far too much that could happen here. She MAY be going so far as to act this way in order to get pregnant; if you find that to be the case, run. A partner that wants to manipulate you into either contracting a disease or to parent without your knowing is not a healthy person to stay with.

If she doesn't respond to your reasoning once more, I'd hightail it outta there regardless.

Planned Parenthood has an excellent page on all aspects of condom use; maybe reading it over with your girlfriend could serve to enlighten her a bit. At the bottom of the page, too, there's a "sample script for safer sex", which you may find useful in debunking any excuses she might have to not want to use a condom. (Even though it's mostly a script for use when interacting with a stubborn male, you can get a general idea.)

[ 11-27-2006, 05:50 PM: Message edited by: Miss Lauren ]

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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