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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Safer Sex & Birth Control » getting the boy to buy condoms.

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Author Topic: getting the boy to buy condoms.
starlight23
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ok, i did some searching and couldn't find anything. My b/f has this problem where he's WAY embarrsed to actually buy condoms. and i know he wouldn't do it online, cuz his rents would ask him what the package was. I have no problem getting them myself, but i really dont wanna have to do it all the time...i'm on the pill and pay for that and everything, so i kinda just want us to split the resonsibilty and stuff, ya know? he asays i dont understand how uncomfortable it is having to buy them...i wanted to hit him..lol. he doens't KNOW uncomfortable. haha anyway. i was wondering if anyone any suggestions. thanx.

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*Live life to the fullest... think of all the people on the Titanic who passed up chocolate dessert.*

*Star*Light*


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Gumdrop Girl
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y'know, it *is* unfair if you have to tackle the responsibility yourself. it sounds to me that your boyfriend isn't ready. Sure, *you* can be responsible and take care of things, but so far, he's showing the *he* cannot take that responsibility himself. It takes two to tango. if i were you, i'd talk to him, and tell him that he needs to take some responsibility, too because if something goes wrong, it's both your problems. he can start by going to the store and buying condoms. and if he doesn't, i'd strongly reconsider whether you should be having sex with him at all (i.e., it's probably not a good idea since he can't deal with responsibility).

if he decides he absolutely cannot be troubled to look out for his health and yours, then it'd be a good idea to abstain till he's ready to take on those matters.

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If the shoe fits, it's probably your size.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
starlight23
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ok well, see, its a little more complicated than just that. see, we had sex for the first few times, and then decided to stop for a while because neither of us wanted to added stress at the moment.

But then, we kinda just started again. We didnt' talk or anything, it just kind of happened...which i supposed i should talk to him about that too.

I dont really know, its all very confusing right now. I've asked him if this is really what he wants and if he can handle it and always says yes.

In the meantime tho, after realizing how TRULY weak i can be in that situation, i took my own responsibility and went out and bought condoms...(maybe he'll see he's being kind of a baby) I dont' know, he's just very frusterating sometimes. grrr...gotta love him anyway tho...that's the tough part

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*Live life to the fullest... think of all the people on the Titanic who passed up chocolate dessert.*

*Star*Light*

[This message has been edited by starlight23 (edited 11-13-2002).]


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ErinK
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Could the two of you maybe go and buy them together the first time? Then, if he sees that big loud whooping alarms don't go off when they pass a box of Durex over the scanner, he'll be less nervous the next time?

I tend to do the condom-buying in my relationships, too, but my partners have all either bought them with me or bought them on their own, and would do so again if it were necessary.


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~jess~
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do they have u-scans were you live? if so, its a lot private.

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my world


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Gumdrop Girl
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what's a u-scan?

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If the shoe fits, it's probably your size.


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Milke
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I'm guessing it's one of those scan-it-yourself, try-to-figure-out-where-to-insert-the-money, and follow-the-instructions-from-robot-voice machines I've seen in a couple New Huge Supermarkets From Hell here, but I could be wrong.

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Milke, SSBD, RATS

Better living through Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V


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~jess~
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lol! yeah milke- those are what im talking about. i think they're easy but can get very annoying with the stupid scale bunch!

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my world


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kena
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quote:
Originally posted by starlight23:
I have no problem getting them myself, but i really dont wanna have to do it all the time...i'm on the pill and pay for that and everything, so i kinda just want us to split the resonsibilty and stuff, ya know?

If cost is the issue, you could (and should) ask him to pay half of the condoms you buy. Most guys I know also pay half of their gf's pills.


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magpie
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<only_somewhat_related_topic>
I work at a grocery store that has a U-Scan. It can get very frustrating to explain to people that even where they put their groceries back down is a scale. The money despenser in #3 doesnt' work and #2 doesn't accept pennies. Strange.
</only_somewhat_related_topic>

And another note. I agree with the general opinion here. I usually do the condom buying, becuase my bf doesn't have a lot of extra moeny laying around. When he's got some cash, he pitches in. We usually go buy them together, so we can agree on witch kind to buy.

Loves,
magpie


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FedLips
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Tell him to suck it up and buy them. I'm sure you brought up the point that you buy pads/tampons. Tell him that it's no glove, no love, and it's up to him to get them. Kind of an ultimatum.
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lilacvase
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Your right, he should pay for the condoms, you pay for the birth control pills. Split it evenly. Maybe you can sit and talk to him and explain that to make your relationship, sex life, and payments work out between the two of you, you both split the fees of all of your supplies.

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*lilacs can go in a vase and lilacs can be painted on a vase but there is no such thing as a lilacvase


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oohlala34
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Tell your boyfriend to get them himself I came home today and my boyfriend had like 10 boxes of condoms (we're stocking up since it's the holidays).Plus, your boyfriend may enjoy sex more if he does more of the buying I mean, my boyfriend is pretty open about sex, and he even went to my first pelvic exam.(I had to find out what the heck that was before I went for it today!)People are different, though.Remember to ask him nicely! Lolz.
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Shann2002
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Go with your boyfriend to the store if he is feeling so uneasy about it. The U-scan thing is a good idea. They are simple and easy to use. My boyfriend goes to the Super K-mart sometimes to that he can go purchase condoms to stock up his supply (he gives them to his cousins and friend because they are nervous about going to the store themselves)or he will go to a regular checkout line. It doesn't matter to him. We are all human.

OR

You can order them online or something, but sooner or later he willhave to go the the store and do this himself so he might as well get use to it now.


Posts: 127 | From: Da Dirty South | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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