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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex in Media: Books, Magazines, Films, TV & More » misogynistic metal lyrics

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Author Topic: misogynistic metal lyrics
mma
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I am experiencing a lot of ugly emotions right now. My husband loves to work out, and needs hard metal to keep his energy up while he hits the weights, but I am really sick to my stomach with some of the lyrics.

I've already talked to him about this once, and he ditched most of the Kid Rock and stuff, but I just caught some lyrics and I'm sick all over again.

He says he doesn't care about the lyrics and doesn't even listen to them, but it bugs me that this caring man would listen to that kind of song even if he doesn't pay attention to the lyrics. Should I just get over it, or should we go for round 2 on this issue?

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coralee
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While you might find his choice of music offensive, I think the most you can do is ask him not to play his music when he is around you. It's not really a good idea to ask him to give up listening to his music of choice. Especially since you say that he is caring, and so clearly he's not buying into the offensive lyrics.

I dislike most mainstream music because I find the lyrics offensive, but I find that my friends who listen to it just aren't bothered by it, and that's ok, that doesn't make them bad friends.

Like sometimes one partner likes to watch porn while the other one doesn't, and I think it's fair to ask that your partner doesn't bring up porn or add it to your sex life, but unfair to demand that they stop watching it by themselves.

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mma
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Yeah, I'm not ready to look at that last point too deeply.

I was crying when he came back in from working out, so I explained the situation and he agreed to get rid of the song since it upset me.

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Kalex
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I totally understand where you're coming from. I find a lot of song lyrics offensive, and it bothers me that other people don't seem to notice.

Is there any chance he could use headphones while working out? You can get Ipod shuffles for a very reasonable price, and they come with armbands so you can just clip them on and let them play. That way he could listen to whatever he wanted without being too encumbered. I've done a similar thing while I'm washing dishes but my sister's in the next room trying to concentrate on homework.

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mizchastain
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I second the headphones idea. Also, is it possible to arrange your schedules so that he can do this at a time when you won't be in earshot? I realise that may not be possible and it might be a bit drastic, but it's an option.

I believe him when he says he's not buying into the lyrics, as I listen to songs with lyrics which I realise are offensive all the time. (Not usually metal, but my choices are probably just as bad. Traditional folk songs often have some highly offensive implications by today's standards, but I still like them.) I would not, however, play songs I recognised as offensive in front of someone who hadn't specifically said it was okay, and I definitely wouldn't continue to play them in front of someone who had specifically asked me not to. That's just unfair, especially since it appears to be actively triggering you and not just annoying.

[ 12-08-2010, 04:23 AM: Message edited by: mizchastain ]

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