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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex in Media: Books, Magazines, Films, TV & More » women-friendly erotica?

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Author Topic: women-friendly erotica?
marigold
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Member # 43862

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hello,
I don't know, if we can talk here about things we haven't found yet, instead of certain books/movies/etc. Sorry if this thread crosses some line.

I haven't read erotica until recently, and altrough I know the one thing I will certainly find on the internet is sex, I'd like to ask for some help here.

The thing I've met with is a book of Alais Nin (something like that), and while it worked quite well (I'm not good at inventing fantasies yet), I couldn't (or didn't want to, by the way) stop noticing all the little malefic features of it.

Like that wanting sex for the women there 9 out of 10 cases equals wanting PVI, they always orgasm from that alone (so it makes the rest of them feel frigid and incomplete), and there's a lot of power inequality there, almost-rapes, idealized prostitutes, or sex scenes masked as something else, like a medical exam, so the "pacient" must trust the "doctor".

Now I can imagine, that BSM can be legit, for some people who has overcame their problems already, but I think, that in my case I might find these scenes attractive partly because they are given "in a package" with general sexyness, an on the other hand - because if one hadn't overcame yet completely her inhibitions, but wants to have sex, fantasysing about someone, who not just is perfect, but makes the decisions "good girls doesn't make" for her too, can feel like getting rid of a burden. Like one can remain passive and "innocent" and get the pleasures in the same time.

And of course this dynamic seems completely bullshit and antifeminist to me, so even if I will explore BSM one day out of some other motivation, I'd want to get completely comfortable with "vanilla" sex first. And I'm afraid, that reading the wrong kind of erotica would shape my fantasies and my sexuality in a way I don't want to.

It's so cool, that while I feel them slinghtly as turn-ons, I can also understand their real meanings, and where they come from, so I can make decisions. Thank you, Scarleteen, in helping in this. Again, there might be people mature enough to play with power, but I, as who I am now, wouldn't be doing this for the right reasons.

So, what kind of authors/sites/etc would you recommand me? Or what do you think about the topic, generally?

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Posts: 68 | From: slovakia | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
marigold
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Member # 43862

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ps: 1. the name of the topic might not be well chosen 2. sorry for the missing D-s (B...SM)
3 yes, I have read this. http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/working_the_kinks_out

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Posts: 68 | From: slovakia | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Ultimately, Scarleteen just isn't really the place for referrals when it comes to sexual entertainment, particularly since when it comes to the web, anything we would link to would have a policy that states it's not for members of the age group we primarily serve.

So, what I'd suggest is either doing some google searching or to hit your local bookstore or Amazon.com. I do think it's okay for us to suggest authors, and in general both Rachel Kramer Bussell and Susie Bright edit by-women, for-women erotica anthologies every year: I know Rachel does several times a year, actually.

That all said, I'm a bit unclear about what else you're asking?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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marigold
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hi, my question was unclear indeed - I was a bit puzzled between my own rejection of this kind of texts (with dominance in it), even it feels a bit attractive, and the recognition and right of people, who DO like that. But those two facts actually doesn't have to do anything with each other.

sorry for crossing a line, and thanks for the authors (/editors).

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Well, it might help to recognize that with something like the Nin (someone I studied intensely back in college, by the way), a lot of what's missing in those kinds of narratives are the negotiation and awareness OF the dynamic that we'd expect -- and want, for it to be healthy -- to see in real-life sex of that ilk.

So, it might be that some of your conflicting feelings have to do with the difference between fantasy and reality?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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