Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Why don't you use condoms...

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Why don't you use condoms...
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
...and what do you think could help you change that habit?

Pretty much every single day we get users in our direct services worrying about pregnancy who are not using condoms - some using other methods, some using none. Or who have had STIs and were not using condoms. Or who have had neither, yet, but likely will deal with one or both of those things soon enough because - yep, you guessed it! - they are not using condoms.

The age group we serve has the highest rates of STIs and unintended pregnancy of any other age group. You all are more at risk of both of these things, especially STIs, than any other age group.

So, what gives? If you are not using them, why not? And what can we do to help you turn that around? What do you feel like you need in your life or relationships to change that pattern and start doing one of the cheapest, easiest things we can all do to protect our sexual health?

[ 07-22-2014, 11:59 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It should go without saying, btw, that I am asking folks who can use them and have a need for them. So, if your answer to this is something like, "Because neither my partner or I possess a penis," then either we do not mean you, or figure you should swap out condoms here for dams or gloves or handwashing. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
erehwon
Neophyte
Member # 98136

Icon 1 posted      Profile for erehwon     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Oh, I like this question... :-) So, here's my story.

When I first was dating my gf I thought, hey, condoms, cool, we can do that. I thought masturbating with one would help me learn how to use one. When I masturbated with one on, I did everything I could to get it to break to see how strong they are. Stretching it, no lube, don't pinch the tip. Do these things ever really break? I couldn't get it to break even not following the recommended use. This should be a piece of cake. ... wrong.

When we decided to try using one for sex, this was far more difficult. First I was nervous, so that made keeping an erection a problem. Then the problem of exactly when to put it on, immediately before sex, during foreplay, between dinner and dessert... ???? Also, what if you put it on early and lose your erection, is that okay or do you need a new one? Ooops that's on backwards, arrgghhh..., try again..., oops, it's slippery, dropped it... Where is it? I just had it, crap.

One website suggested first rolling it a bit over your finger to see if is on the right way, but another site said never touch it with your fingernails. So, which is it?

Then when we were finally over that and having sex, hmmmm... Is it still on, did it break, turn the light on, I better stop and check.

Basically I was fine trying to figure all these things out (and yes, I'm well known for overthinking everything), but my gf was tired of all the fumbles and just thought we get tested and skip the condoms for another method.

All I can say is that I tried and still think they are a good idea. Someone probably should make a quick-on loading device you put your penis in and wham, it's on. (okay, maybe skip the wham part).

:-)

Posts: 35 | From: Colorado | Registered: Oct 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
soft_masc
Neophyte
Member # 108895

Icon 1 posted      Profile for soft_masc         Edit/Delete Post 
I don't know if this is the kind of information you're looking for, since it's a very specific situation, but I used to use condoms with my girlfriend and have since stopped, for a couple reasons. Firstly, she is a trans woman on hormone replacement therapy, and the effect that has on erections means condoms have a serious tendency to slip off. Secondly, for STI concerns, we have each had three rounds of STI testing over the last nine months. Thirdly, for pregnancy concerns, I have a copper IUD and consider my hormone replacement therapy to be effectively a back up method.

@erehwon Check these out!
http://www.origamicondoms.com/#!male-condom/c1e2z
They aren't available yet, but watch the video if you can - they're going to be really cool!

Posts: 27 | Registered: Nov 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
acb
Activist
Member # 108645

Icon 1 posted      Profile for acb     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That's the first video I've seen of the origami condoms, they look great! I'd seen photos and was sort of confused as to how they worked...

The reasons I don't like condoms are all fairly superficial and are not so major as to prevent me from using them when I've missed a pill or when I've been having sex when there's a potential risk of STI transmission but I was glad when my partner and I stopped using them.

The top few reasons:

- They're expensive if you want to get a nice brand. The ones my local clinics give out are not great - they're sort of dry and often too small and have made every partner I've used them with lose their erection instantly.

- They smell weird.

- They make sex worse for my partner and there's something about using them that seems unromantic - I like sex being just our two bodies and the interruption of putting the condom on and how it makes sex feel for him is probably my main reason for not liking them. (The origami condoms look great for solving that.)

- The eco warrior in me balks at the amount of non-biodegradable waste from using condoms but given that the chemical procedures used in making my pill are probably not that environmentally sound either I think that's just me being daft [Razz] .

Posts: 49 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
xmetalgirl
Neophyte
Member # 110591

Icon 1 posted      Profile for xmetalgirl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
May I add positive things about condoms I learned about? Maybe it can help lol. Im not forcing anyone here, Id just like to mention some positive things!
Condoms are highly effective at preventing diseases and pregnancy. If you always use them correctly and all the time thheyre highly reliable. The women that say they got pregnant with a condom on that didnt slip or break is a lie. Majority of the tjme the guy probably flipped it and didnt tell the girl. Or they put them on improperly and think its proper.Or theyre just lying to scare us ! I too have been scared cause of these butthead wlmen but ive done so much research on proper sex education and even saw videos on how they make condoms.
They can be very pleasuring if you find the right fit and if they are thinner. I looked on condom websites that sell them and they usually tell you the sizes! You dont have to buy a million to try. Thinner is better. They feel like nothing. Sometimes during intercourse I even checked to see if there was one on lol. And there is no semen mess afterwards, it just stays in the condom in and easily throw it out. Oh and thinner doesnt mean breaks easier. Its still a strong piece of latex rubber lol
If you relax your partner, help him put the condom on or keep teasing him he probably wont lose his erection. Practise on putting them on too together is key. Like learning how to put them on properly of course and knowing which side is the right side but after practise it becomes so easy
You dont really need to take a pill everyday or shots or patches or whatever. Just put it on before any contact! And it doesnt mess with your hormones (to me, i hate hormonal ways when I went on bc for acne when I wasnt sexually active I was suicidal man! I am sensitive and sometimes i get headaches even when the weather changes pressure like the rain...so it made my headaches worst) as well)
They are cheap. theyre like 50 cents each in a box of like 15-20. On sites they always have awesome deals! They had 100 good brand condoms like durex, kimono, one, trojan, lifestyles for like 25$ for 100 dudes! And they are usually on sale at the drug mart they always like 6-8$ sometimes! Just chip in with the guy sometimes
You can see everything! If the condom broke or slipped, you can take emergency contraception. But if those two did not happen then youre fine. If your on bc or anything else you cant really see if it worked. You know the semen just goes in and yeaaah lllol. Same with diseases. All fluids stay in the condom and will keep you much safer from diseases! I understand screening and stuff you can do what makes you happy [Smile] im just saying the good stuff it does lol
All it needs is a bit of practise. And after a little bit of experience it becomes routine and not a pain in da butt
Heather what I suggest to help increase condom use for scarleteen users is to make mention in articles that the 2% in failure rates in condom use is purely from slippage and breakage and not from some mysterious product malfunction/quality problem .I have been very confused and scared about with this before. Cause even the 2% seemed untrustworthy if I thought it can be mysterious way without knowing. Also mention to watch videos how condomsare made to make sure that the users can rely on condoms and see how durable and good the quality of condoms are and maybe some more scientificy facts? [Razz]

Posts: 26 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
xmetalgirl
Neophyte
Member # 110591

Icon 1 posted      Profile for xmetalgirl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
May I add positive things about condoms I learned about? Maybe it can help lol. Im not forcing anyone here, Id just like to mention some positive things!
Condoms are highly effective at preventing diseases and pregnancy. If you always use them correctly and all the time thheyre highly reliable. The women that say they got pregnant with a condom on that didnt slip or break is a lie. Majority of the tjme the guy probably flipped it and didnt tell the girl. Or they put them on improperly and think its proper.Or theyre just lying to scare us ! I too have been scared cause of these butthead wlmen but ive done so much research on proper sex education and even saw videos on how they make condoms.
They can be very pleasuring if you find the right fit and if they are thinner. I looked on condom websites that sell them and they usually tell you the sizes! You dont have to buy a million to try. Thinner is better. They feel like nothing. Sometimes during intercourse I even checked to see if there was one on lol. And there is no semen mess afterwards, it just stays in the condom in and easily throw it out. Oh and thinner doesnt mean breaks easier. Its still a strong piece of latex rubber lol
If you relax your partner, help him put the condom on or keep teasing him he probably wont lose his erection. Practise on putting them on too together is key. Like learning how to put them on properly of course and knowing which side is the right side but after practise it becomes so easy
You dont really need to take a pill everyday or shots or patches or whatever. Just put it on before any contact! And it doesnt mess with your hormones (to me, i hate hormonal ways when I went on bc for acne when I wasnt sexually active I was suicidal man! I am sensitive and sometimes i get headaches even when the weather changes pressure like the rain...so it made my headaches worst) as well)
They are cheap. theyre like 50 cents each in a box of like 15-20. On sites they always have awesome deals! They had 100 good brand condoms like durex, kimono, one, trojan, lifestyles for like 25$ for 100 dudes! And they are usually on sale at the drug mart they always like 6-8$ sometimes! Just chip in with the guy sometimes
You can see everything! If the condom broke or slipped, you can take emergency contraception. But if those two did not happen then youre fine. If your on bc or anything else you cant really see if it worked. You know the semen just goes in and yeaaah lllol. Same with diseases. All fluids stay in the condom and will keep you much safer from diseases! I understand screening and stuff you can do what makes you happy [Smile] im just saying the good stuff it does lol
All it needs is a bit of practise. And after a little bit of experience it becomes routine and not a pain in da butt
Heather what I suggest to help increase condom use for scarleteen users is to make mention in articles that the 2% in failure rates in condom use is purely from slippage and breakage and not from some mysterious product malfunction/quality problem .I have been very confused and scared about with this before. Cause even the 2% seemed untrustworthy if I thought it can be mysterious way without knowing. Also mention to watch videos how condomsare made to make sure that the users can rely on condoms and see how durable and good the quality of condoms are and maybe some more scientificy facts? [Razz]

[ 08-05-2014, 12:27 AM: Message edited by: xmetalgirl ]

Posts: 26 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Karybu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
xmetalgirl, I am loving your newfound enthusiasm for condoms. [Big Grin]

These boards will be closing permanently in the next couple of days, but we've moved the original post over to the new boards, so you can continue the conversation there if you like: http://scarleteen.com/bb/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=107

--------------------
"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5799 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3