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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » My clitoris hurts?

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Author Topic: My clitoris hurts?
Ekoutrakos
Neophyte
Member # 110240

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My boyfriend and I have been having sex for almost six months. Nothing really special just us together, when he touchs my clitoris though it hurts yet it tickles at the same time. I'm not sure if I enjoy it or can't stand it. I pretend to like it for his sake but I'm not sure if there's something really wrong with me. Help?

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Hey.

Posts: 2 | From: United States | Registered: May 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Edith_*
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 107716

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Hi, Ekoutrakos. Welcome to Scarleteen! [Smile]

Not all poeple will enjoy the same kind of stimulation and that doesn't mean there is something wrong with us or our bodies. This could only mean that clitoral stimuli is just not the best for you and that is okay. There's nothing wrong with that. If you want to keep trying maybe it could help talking with your partner and letting him know what feels good or until what moment is just not feels good and it starts to hurt. Keeping this information "for his sake" is not going to do any good to either of you, actually. Sex is supposed to be pleasurable and not just bearable.

Is there anything why you don't want to share this with him?

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"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it " (...'cause no one else will) -Gandhi-

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Ekoutrakos
Neophyte
Member # 110240

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I feel like my boyfriend would stop if I told him it hurt. His face lights up when he thinks he's doing something right, don't laugh about it while I'm saying ow. I feel like if I tell him the truth he'll think he's the one who hurt me. If I try really hard I can block out the pain, I just don't want to make him any more worried that he's going to hurt me somehow than he already is..

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Hey.

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Edith_*
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Well, if you tell him it hurts and he stops then I must say, good for him because that exactly what a good partner should do. Just imagine you are on a road trip with him and suddenly he takes the wrong exit but you don't tell him that because you don't want him to feel bad. Do you really think is better to just keep going when you know is not the road to wherever you both want to go?

Letting our partners know that what they do is not pleasurable for us doesn't mean we are saying they are doing things wrong, we are just saying is not working for us. It doesn't have to be about failure, you know? Is just a way to open communication so we find out what really works. [Smile]

Once more, sex is not about "blocking the pain out", or at least not in healthy sexual relationships -- or healthy relationships, period. Talking with him is always up to you of course, but if you ask me, I think this is the best way to go.

[ 05-03-2014, 08:48 PM: Message edited by: Edith_* ]

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"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it " (...'cause no one else will) -Gandhi-

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Snorkmaiden
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Member # 103905

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There is nothing wrong with you. It sounds like you just have a very sensitive clitoris and that is both normal and common. Many people do not enjoy direct touching there. Many also only like it with very wet and slippery fingers to reduce friction.
See if you would prefer less direct touching: maybe touching a little away from the clitoris itself might be better for you? Maybe it's nicer if the hood is touched, not the glans of the clitoris itself? Maybe it feels better to have a barrier of some kind, to make it less direct? Some people like rubber for that, others like silk or similar fabrics.
You could try these options out by yourself or with him.

I agree with Edith_* that it would be best to let him know what works for you and what doesn't. You do not need to tell him that what he has been doing is wrong or a failure, you could also put it more positively, and say something like 'we could try this-and-this' or 'I think it would be really sexy to try so-and-so'. You could whisper 'Oof, that's a bit too sensitive right there' and steer his finger a little higher. Or you could show him.

Posts: 17 | From: Netherlands | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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