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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » I made a fool out of myself..maybe messed up my chance?

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Author Topic: I made a fool out of myself..maybe messed up my chance?
Member # 104317

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there is this guy who ive known for 5 years and have always liked. He moved and for 3 years weve been talking pretty much everyday. I tell him EVERYTHING and vise versa. Throughout the three years we spoke about how if we could see each other we would want to sleep with each other. We were always planning to do things like go to colordo and hiking ect.. but it was more of dream to me. i NEVER thought id see him again. Until he moved bk to my home town for good. When i saw him he surprised me at the airport. and on my last night he spent the night. i pretty much gave him blue balls, i said no because i was unsure if it was just about sex.. but what i told him was that i leave the next day and wont be back for a while. He was a little frustrated, which i understand..
but then i realized i really did want it so like an idet i woke him up and told him how id like to spend this night with him.. however, i hadn;t had sex in over a year.. and we had no lube or as much as he tried he couldnt get in me.. i was so tight. I suppose it was embarrassing for him.. i don't know if i ruined my chance..
i wrote him and told him

also just clear things up , after a year of not having sex i should have been prepared with lube. hahha next time, also the reason i said no the first time was because i got nervous and was being cautious and i should have told you that before
but i i did enjoy the fact that i could see you on my last night

yeah lube would have helped haha. Understandable and being cautious is never a bad thing.
and me too

did i ruin my chance.. ? do i use this as a joke with him, cause its a funny story

Posts: 7 | From: putney vermont | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jill Valentine
Member # 106719

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If you have seen what I posted recently, you might know why I'm saying this: PLEASE don't sleep with this guy or any other guy without a condom. Make it your golden rule. No condom? No sex. Unless he's been tested for sexually transmitted infections, it's impossible to tell if someone has something based on how nice they are or how long you've known them. Most people with infections don't intentionally pass them on anyway, they just do so without knowing. I'm not saying this guy you like has any infections, but can you be 100% sure? If you can't, don't take the risk. Someday you will regret it and will start worrying like hell. And believe me, it's hell when the anxiety kicks in.

It's a good thing you two didn't try to have sex without lube. Most likely this would've caused pain and tears in your vagina and, again, if he happens to have an infection, you're more susceptible to it by having open sores or wounds in your vagina.

As for the situation itself, I don't see why you would've ruined your chance. A guy who likes you enough to have sex with you should also respect you enough to understand that you weren't the one at fault for the night not going smoothly. I don't want to come across as giving a lecture, but it's really not worth it to sleep with someone who doesn't love and respect you. Does he?

I think you need to think more about that than whether you've blown your chances. Being cautious is indeed never a bad thing. It seems that he understood that, so I'm hopeful that he isn't having a low opinion of you just from this one encounter. [Smile]

Posts: 50 | Registered: Mar 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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