Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Ejaculation Issues

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Ejaculation Issues
Zoeeyy.
Neophyte
Member # 96176

Icon 9 posted      Profile for Zoeeyy.     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Whenever my boyfriend and I engage in sexual actions, whether its oral or sex, he takes an extremely unatural amount of time to ejaculate. Out of the very very few times he has ejaculated, on average took me about 3 hours. I spoke to him about it and he knows he takes a long time to ejaculate, but he doesnt know why?

Considering we are only 15, I cant understand why it should take so long, please help!!!

Posts: 14 | From: Sydney | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Onionpie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi Zoeeyy, welcome to Scarleteen! Do you know if your boyfriend takes the same amount of time to ejaculate while he's masturbating as he does during sexual activity with you? Do you know if he's spoken to his doctor or any other healthcare professional about this?
Posts: 1182 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Zoeeyy.
Neophyte
Member # 96176

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Zoeeyy.     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
When I spoke to him, he said yes it does take the same amount of time during masturbation, but he has more time on his hands so he keeps on going until he ejaculates. He also doenst masturbate alot either, just because it takes him too long. No he hasnt seen a doctor because he isnt too fussed by it because he still orgasms. We have been dating for 2 years and out of those 2 years I have only gone long enought 5 times, and out of the 5 times he has ejaculated all of them. Normally half way, he stops me and gives me a big hug and tells me not to worry about it because he doesnt mind.

I guess the real issue isnt that he doesnt ejaculate, because he does. Its why does it take him 3 to 4 hours to ejaculate?

Posts: 14 | From: Sydney | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Onionpie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think the best idea would be for him to talk to his doctor about it. Three hours is an unusually long amount of time, and there are several potential reasons for that happening, so it'd probably be a good idea for him to find out what it might be in case it's something that affects him in other ways too, you know?
Posts: 1182 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Zoeeyy.
Neophyte
Member # 96176

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Zoeeyy.     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
If he went to the doctors he would have to go with his Mum because he is only 15, and that would be so awkward. Are there any ways of finding out whats wrong, without going to the doctors. Also because he has always been like that, he doesnt think its a concern so it doesnt bother him, but he knows it bothers me.
Posts: 14 | From: Sydney | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Karybu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
There are ways for him to see a doctor without his mum being involved, if that's something he's interested in (and I agree with Onionpie, checking in with a healthcare provider about this would be a good idea).

We can also talk some more about why this bothers you, if you like.

--------------------
"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5658 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Zoeeyy.
Neophyte
Member # 96176

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Zoeeyy.     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It bothers me because of a few small reasons, such as:
1) He has been my first and I was his first, so therefore I always use to think it was my fault that he couldnt ejaculate. I thought I wasnt doing right or I wasnt good at it, even though he has reasurred me several times that I am great.

2) My best friend is subconsciesly rubbing it in my face, not to intentionly offend me though. She has beeing saying how once she made this guy ejaculate in 15min, and then another time she made the same guy ejaculate in 10min ect...

3) He always makes me "finish" and I just feel like I am not giving back to him because I cant make him ejaculate. Even though I know he doesnt mind and that it isnt a big deal, it still just deep down bothers me when I know it shouldnt.

4) Everytime we do stuff I try to go for as long as I can, but after 3 hours and still no ejaculation, I do get really sick of it. He doesnt even ejaculate when we have sex, it just gets really annoying and frustrating because I try so hard and I still get nothing.

5) I am really sure it isnt good for his health either.

Any advice, techniques or help would be amazing.
Thank you so much =D

Posts: 14 | From: Sydney | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You know, Zoeeyy, we don't "make" someone have an orgasm or ejaculate, and they don't "make" us. When an orgasm does happen, it's because a partner has done something that our bodies like and our bodies respond. Same goes for when we give pleasure to others.

Put another way, a friend of mine who is a sexuality educator for adults reminds people that we're all in charge of our own orgasms.

If you've said and I missed it, I appologize, but does your boyfriend have the same experience when he masturbates on his own?

I'm also wondering if you've asked him if he wants to go three hours? IN other words, is it important to *him* that he ejaculate every time the two of you engage in sexual activity.

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Zoeeyy.
Neophyte
Member # 96176

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Zoeeyy.     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yeah I guess that is true, thank you.

Yes my boyfriend does have the same experiance when he masturbates, although everytime he masturbates he does ejaculate. Although he doesnt masturbate very often because it still takes him like 3 hours or longer to ejaculate.

I guess I am confused and concerned because when he does it, although it takes him 3 hours or longer, he still ejaculates every time. When I do it, he never does.

To answer your last question, no it isnt important to him if he doesnt ejaculate every time. It isnt too important for me either, its just confusing, frustraghting and concerning.

Once again thanks =D

Posts: 14 | From: Sydney | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi Zoeeyy,

Just checking in to see how you're doing with this.


I also thought that you might find these articles helpful. There truly is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to hwo our minds and bodies express sexuality.

With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body

Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Zoeeyy.
Neophyte
Member # 96176

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Zoeeyy.     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thank you so much for your help, it means so much to me.

Also one last thing, what are some possible reason to why it takes so long?

I have also finally half convinced him to see his doctor about it, because I am pretty sure its not too good for his health in general.

Thank you heaps =D

Posts: 14 | From: Sydney | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3