So recently I lost my virginity to one of my guy friends, and it hurt a lot, but there was no blood or anything and afterwards I wasn't sore. Then about 2 weeks later I slept with another guy and he was fingering me (painfully but I didn't tell him so) and when he put 3 fingers in, the pain was blinding for a bit before he took them out, then after when we had sex it was more painful than the previous time. Also, later in the bathroom I found out I was bleeding. The first guy was really huge, so he couldn't really fit that well, and the second guy was about as wide but shorter. So is it possible to to not break the hymen until the second time? And is it going to continue hurting so much after this? Last question: before breaking the hymen, is it supposed to be very, very painful and feel like you desperately have to pee even though you know you don't? Because that's how it felt both times, just worse the second time.
Posts: 1 | From: Arizona | Registered: Apr 2012
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Hymens don't actually usually break at all, sparing genital injury or sexual assault (especially when someone is a child). Instead, what they usually do, with or without intercourse, is gradually wear mostly away over time.
The pain and bleeding you experienced probably had less to do with the hymen (if they did at all) as they did with doing things that were painful for you, yet continuing, not adding lube, not slowing down, not communicating you were in pain so your partner knew to change up or stop what he was doing. Any of that can cause abrasions of the vaginal opening or canal, which can cause bleeding.
And here's a good starter place to address pain with intercourse and why it usually happens (plus how to avoid it, because no, sex doesn't have to hurt and shouldn't if that's not something you want): From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse
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