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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Condom Leakage

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Author Topic: Condom Leakage
haveaquestion
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Member # 58079

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Hi, Scarleteen! Im hoping you can answer some questions for me.

Two days ago my boyfriend and I had sex. Afterward he checked the condom like he always does to make sure it was intact, and he noticed that the ejaculate was not only in the tip like it usually is; some of it was down along the shaft, although still underneath the latex, but it was all the way down to the base. These condoms fit properly and we always use them correctly. This has never happened to us before. I freaked, because it was impossible to tell whether some of it had leaked out the bottom or not, and even if it did, it was impossible to tell if any of it got inside of me.

Is this a common occurrence? Are condoms tight enough at the base to prevent leakage? And if leakage occurs at the bottom, what are the chances it can get you pregnant?

Luckily, I am on the pill just in case of this exact situation. But of course I freaked out anyway. I started wracking my brain trying to remember exactly what time I took my pill each night for the last week. I honestly cant remember, but I can say that I have not missed two pills in a row. When I take pills late, its generally not by more than a few hours. According to this post here , I should be fine. But then I made the mistake of reading scary things on the internet about people who have become pregnant on the pill.

I read horror stories about people who got pregnant on the pill and continued to get their withdrawal bleeds each month, so they had no idea they were pregnant. Is this even possible?

Posts: 33 | From: Chicago, IL | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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HI There,

As you say yourself, using two birth control methods is definitely good insurance against one not working as it's supposed to. I don't hear anything here that is concerning. Sometimes ejaculate does creep up a little but as long as he withdrew right after ejaculation and held onto the base of the condom as he withdrew (good condom use practice to ensure it doesn't slip off during withdrawal) there shouldn't be any concern that any semen got inside you.

As to the stories you've rad on the Internet. Yes, there's always a little itty bitty possibility that someone could get pregnant while using birth control and engaging in sexual activities that could lead to pregnancy. It's just part and parcel of being sexually active.

I'm often leary of those stories we read online though. Since we can't interview the people who wrote them, we can't be sure that we have all the facts. I suspect that if we did interview them, we'd discover in most cases that they weren't taking the Pill as recommended to protect against birth control. Oh, and yes, you're right. It's not going to compromise your pill's effectiveness if you take it a couple of hours late sometimes.

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Robin

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Boarder Guy
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Member # 95847

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Hi Robin,

I had a similar situation, but my specific concern was that I wanted to please my partner and didn't pull out immediately after ejaculation, but maybe a couple minutes after. There was no breakage or slippage, and the base was still snug and rolled down, but I'm still freaking out.

Obviously I'm not going to keep going again, and I'm even reevaluating who I should be having sex with because the bottom line is I don't want to have a baby with anybody, but definitely not this person.

How much does the risk increase when you don't pull out right away?

[ 05-20-2012, 01:50 PM: Message edited by: Boarder Guy ]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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The issue of not withdrawing right away is that a slip (or slippage, where then the ejaculate might get out) or break is more likely, especially if you're moving around at all.

But you saw that neither of those things happened this time, so you should have been fine.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Boarder Guy
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Thanks!
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Sure. [Smile] Do you want to talk through the other issues it sounds like you're having, in terms of your own sexual decision-making?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Boarder Guy
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Well, I can say that this was my first and will be my last experience like this one. Not knowing my partner well enough is not something I have much experience with, and I'm not OK with it. That's abundantly clear now.

I recently got out of a relationship and haven't had luck meeting people mainly because I've been too busy, and I guess I had a delayed rebound moment. I met a girl online (which I've never done before but have heard nothing but positive things about), I wasn't expecting to have sex on our first date, but we had a good time and I guess one thing led to another.

We didn't sit down and have a proper conversation about being safe prior, I used a condom, and afterwards (dumb, I know) I wanted to be sure we were being absolutely safe moving forward so I brought it up. She told me that she is not on the pill and didn't "believe" in the day after pill or abortion. Since then, I've been freaking out. Having continued having sex too long after ejaculation was the only thing I could think of that could have gone wrong, and I latched onto it.

I'm starting to feel a little better now. Despite being virtually positive I didn't see any leakage and nothing slipped, I masturbated with the same condom and I don't see how anything could have gotten out even though I had lost some of my erection. I couldn't get anything out no matter what I did. Hopefully everything will turn out and I can be smarter.

[ 05-20-2012, 06:23 PM: Message edited by: Boarder Guy ]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Oof, yeah, that'll all induce panic, for sure.

For future reference, if needed, I'd say it's safe to assume that often enough, online dates result in hookups. It doesn't happen, too, but it does a whole lot.

So, what you might want to do is just have a think about what your dealbreakers are around sex, and practice a quickie convo about them should you find yourself in this kind of situation again. Then it might be easier to talk about them, or slow things down with them, before sex.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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