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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » first time...scared

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Author Topic: first time...scared
Member # 93250

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Hi, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time last night. I'm not on birth control and he had a condom on the whole time he had his penis inside of me so I'm not too worried.
But it being my first time, I am worried. His penis only went in a lil bit, not too far because it hurt. Then I was on top of him and him on top of me, and we rubbed his penis on my area. He had a condom on the whole entire time there was gential contact. He never ejactulated either. After we were done messing around I went pee and wiped myself with a wipe down there to make sure it was clean.
These actions happened on April 7th. I'm supposed to start my period on April 14th. I chart my cycles and according to them, I ovulated on March 29th. So I should be pretty safe shouldn't I?
Sorry I'm just really worried because it was my first time and all. I dont think there would be a pregnancy risk because we used the condom correctly. I'm just scared.
Plus is it normal for it to hurt down there? Like feel sore?
I just need some reassurance...thanks

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Executive Director & Founder
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Sounds like you used your condom properly, so any risks of pregnancy would have been greatly reduced. Condoms are 98% effective when used properly.

Soreness can certainly happen after vaginal intercourse any time, but if and when -- the 1st time or 301st -- someone isn't as aroused as they could be, lubricated enough, or was feeling anxious (pretty darn common with first-times), it's much more likely to happen.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
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I just thought that I'd note, if you're making the assumption about when you ovulated based on averages about women ovulate, rather than based on charting temperatures and stuff like that, you can't really know when you were ovulating. (But like Heather said, you used condoms properly, so your risk is minimal at best anyway).


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Posts: 864 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Ovulation estimates are based on perfect cycles. Not many women have perfect cycles, especially younger women in their teens and twenties.

Unless your period comes at the exact same time every month and always lasts for the same number of days without the assistance of hormonal birth control, it's safe to assume that you probably don't have a perfect cycle.

So even though you've estimated that you should have been ovulating around that time, you may not have been. The only way to know without a doubt that you were is if you took a home ovulation test.

That aside, if you used a condom the whole time your genitals were in contact, your risk of pregnancy is astronomically small.

A lot of people (myself included) have these irrational worries after sexual activity. I used to have them a lot when I first started having sex, but it's been a number of years and I'm more comfortable with myself, my partner, my cycle and my birth control.

With time and the continual use of safe practices, you won't get so worried and caught up in the "what if's" every time you have sex.

But it is good that you're familiar with your cycle and you track it every month. That way, you'll know if you're ever late.

There's no need to worry unless you're a week or more late. At that point you could take a home pregnancy test and/or see your doctor to get some answers.

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