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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » First time without ever masturbating before?

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Author Topic: First time without ever masturbating before?
infinifty
Neophyte
Member # 95244

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Hey there, darlings.

I'm not one for masturbating because I'm generally not a very sexual person. Sure, I get turned on sometimes and all that jazz but, uh, yeah.
So now I wondered: Should I at least try getting some fingers in down below to "ease the way" for my first time or does it not matter at all?

Thanks in advance! [Smile]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Some folks have the idea that masturbating as "preparation" for partnersex is about changing your body in some way. But that's not usually true: masturbation isn't going to create any permanent changes to your body, like say, permanently "loosening" the vaginal opening or canal, just like partnersex won't do that.

What masturbation CAN do, though, is help you learn to be comfortable and more relaxed with your body and sex, and help you learn some things you like -- or don't -- on your own so you can bring those to the table with a partner if and when you do engage in any kind of sex. Being able to communicate some of those basics, and knowing some of them before any partners, tends to make sex with a partner more comfortable for everyone.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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infinifty
Neophyte
Member # 95244

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Okay then! Thanks for the information. :3

I read somewhere that it actually prepare your, yanno, vajayjay (Wow, I'm awkward when talking about my genitals. Considering my age and inexperience, that's probably normal though) for penetrative sex and it seemed logical to me but if it actually /doesn't/, then there's no rush, I suppose. (:

Is there anything else that could prepare me/my body for my first time? Any tips? (Don't mind all that contraception-stuff; I'm from a fairly open-minded family, the kind where my mum actually buys me condoms, so no worries about that.)

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Really, when it comes to body-preparedness, that's mostly at-the-time stuff. In other words, things like being comfortable, relaxed, fully aroused, having lubricant, etc. Not things one does in advance. The vagina is flexible by design, no matter what, save that sometimes it's inflexible for good reason -- like when someone is scared or isn't emotionally comfortable.

In terms of more general preparedness, have you see this yet: Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist

Or this: Let's Get Metaphysical: The Etiquette of Entry

I'd also personally say that if you feel uncomfortable even talking about body parts or calling them by their names, that's a pretty good cue it's probably not a sound time yet for any kind of sex with a partner. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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