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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » sex and marrage with 18 or older guys

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Author Topic: sex and marrage with 18 or older guys
kmq123
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is it legal to have sex with a over 18 guy if ur 14.....can u mary a over 18 year old guy if ur 14?
Posts: 6 | From: bellevue | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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What state do you live in: are you posting from Bellevue, Washington?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 67076 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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(Wasn't being nosy, it's just that these laws are different from state to state.)

Since your IP is here in WA -- I should have just checked first, silly me -- here's the deal:

It is NOT lawful for an 18 year old to have sex with you. The age of consent here is 16, and for someone 14 and someone 18, sexual intercourse would be third degree rape of a child, a class C felony on that legal adult's part. Other kinds of sexual contact, but not intercourse, would be child molestation the the third degree, also a class C felony.

This person also could not marry someone 14. They could marry someone as young as 17 if that 17-year-olds parents gave legal consent.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67076 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kmq123
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ok thanks for ur answers
Posts: 6 | From: bellevue | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kmq123
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what about in arizona?
Posts: 6 | From: bellevue | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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Well, it depends. Do you live here? If so, are you moving with your family to AZ, or are you talking about something like this person taking you there?

I ask because if it's the latter, then kidnapping charges also come into play, which obviously complicate this further.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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kmq123
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well my dad lives in az and my mom lives in wa and the boy lives in az so if i lived in az and the boy lived in az would it be legal for us to get married and or have a baby?
Posts: 6 | From: bellevue | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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Okay.

So, in Arizona, the age of consent is 15 when a partner is the same age. If your partner were 18 (not a boy, btw, that's a legal adult, a man) then just like in Washington, that would be a crime on that part, specifically, sexual conduct with a minor and sexual assault, both felonies.

The pregnancy question is a bit different, because there's nothing illegal about *you* becoming pregnant or giving birth for YOU. And none of this is about *you* breaking the law. It's about this person breaking the law. And if he were to have intercourse with you that resulted in pregnancy, again, that intercourse all by itself would be a crime, whether or not it resulted in a pregnancy.

Do you want to talk about this relationship?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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kmq123
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would be possible in any state for ur to get married?...im 14 and he is 20
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Heather
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Not without your parents consent, no.

But now this has moved from him being 18, to 20.

There is a pretty ginormous developmental difference between an adult of 20 and a young teen of 14, and good reasons for concerns, especially when you're talking together about things like pregnancy and marriage.

Want to fill me in on the whole scoop here so we can talk about it?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67076 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kmq123
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so if we have both or one of our parents approval we could get married somewhere? where would that be possible..and sure ill talk about our relationship...what would u like to know
?

Posts: 6 | From: bellevue | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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Well, if you want to tell me about it, how about starting with how you met?

At only 14, you're not likely to find a state in the union where you can marry, even with parental permission. To my knowledge, states that allow that usually require a minor be at least 16.

At the same time, do you think your parents would earnestly give permission for a marriage, especially with someone this young? Personally, I'd be pretty concerned if they did, given all that getting married can do when it comes to possible risks and negatives, especially in relationships with may not be healthy or safe, which is what's most typical when adults seek out very young teens for romantic or sexual relationships.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67076 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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