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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Pregnancy scare.. too early for a test?

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Author Topic: Pregnancy scare.. too early for a test?
SuzyJacuzzi
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Okay so I know there must be a million topics about this already but I guess I am just looking for a little bit of support, too.. I just feel like I can't talk to anyone at the moment and I need to let it out...

So, about a month ago I had a drunken hookup with this random fella. This kind of turned into us seeing each other regularly, at least once a week, and having sex. He is not someone I would usually hang out with, honestly. But for some reason I keep going over there and it always turns into the same thing. (Despite him disrespecting me, insulting me, acting like he owns me, etc. It's starting to feel like I respect myself even less than he does..)

The first few times, we had both been drinking a lot, so I guess judgment was impaired? I would ask him to put on a condom and most of the time he would say he didn't have any and we'd continue. But lately I have been a lot more assertive about this and we are protected every time. So pat on the back? (I even made him go out and buy some in the middle of us making out if he wanted it to go further).

But a few weeks ago, we were still being stupid and having sex without a condom. He would just pull out beforehand. One night, we did this, and then again the next morning. I don't think he went to the bathroom after the first time. I thought about getting the Plan B pill the next morning but I had $1.48 in my savings and decided that it probably wasn't a big deal, anyway.

Now, I'm rotting away in my dorm and checking my underwear every five minutes. My last period came on September 1, so it's just a few days late. I know it's a bit early to be freaking out but I have no idea what I would do if I end up being preggo. The sperm donor won't even take me out for coffee, and I'm not sure how supportive he would be about all of this. My parents wouldn't even let me get birth control and are extremely pro-life, so I doubt they'd fund an abortion.

I am seriously hoping that all of this (the crying, eating a pound of tootsie rolls, sore breasts, constipation) is all just PMS. Anyways, I want to take a test, just so I can have control over my own thoughts again. Since this would be about the second or third day of my missed period, is it too early to tell?

I know most of that was just irrelevant information but I feel so alone right now. And I just can't believe that I let myself get into this weird sexual relationship with a guy who I don't even like.

Has anyone else ever been in this situation?

Posts: 7 | From: Italy | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Captain Girl
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Yes, at this point, a pregnancy test would be accurate. You should take one. The sooner you know, the better, no matter what the result is.

Once you know the answer, you may find it easier to think concretely about it.

You ask if anyone else has ever been in this situation.

Oh god YES. Yes, they have (I have), and lots of them have felt the way you're feeling (I did). You are in no way alone...except that you sound pretty lonely, and loneliness is often a factor in these relationships. You mention parents and this guy, do you have friends around? Other relatives? People (besides Mr. Won't Go For Coffee) to hang out with? A shoulder to cry on?

If you want to come back and talk about next steps post-pregnancy test, we can totally do that too.

Posts: 129 | From: Boston | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
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Please don't beat yourself up about this, SuzyJacuzzi, we all make mistakes. And yes, I have done this too. And I felt stupid afterwards. But I shouldn't have. We all make mistakes, and sex is an easy mistake when you're attracted and aroused and caught up in the moment.

Honey, if you are considering abortion, I will find out about the situation with that in Italy, if you like?

However, did you say he didn't ejaculate on or inside your vulva? Periods can be late for a whole host of reasons.

For the sake of your peace of mind, I would grab a test for now.

We are here with you every step of the way, Suzy. Take deep breath, it's okay. You may not even be pregnant, and if you are, we can help you find the best solution for you, and how to get help with that choice. *Hugs* [Smile]

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SuzyJacuzzi
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I am actually not in Italy anymore, I just moved to a new city in Virginia. So I just don't feel like I can trust anyone I've met here yet with this.. But yeah, I think abortion would be my best option. The only problem is cost :/

It still hasn't come this morning, ughhh, so I think I'm going to schedule an appointment with my school's health center for a test. I just feel like that'll make it official or something.. aka why I didn't take Plan B in the first place, so why i'm in this situation! x(

And no, he never ejaculated on/around me, but I have heard a few things about precum. So that is what I'm nervous about.

Thanks so much for the hugs and support [Smile] I feel a lot better today then yesterday, I just need to find the courage to get a test rather than keep putting it off...

Posts: 7 | From: Italy | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
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Hey Suzy, so awesome to hear you're feeling a little better.

With pre-ejaculate, you risk is actually low.

Good idea about the test though, just to be on the safe side. If you do need an abortion, it will be better to know that as soon as possible, so we can start planning where to go etc. I know it's frigthening, but honestly it's either going to mean everything's fine or it's time for an early abortion, which will be very quick, and make everything fine.

Have you read this? It contains information about cost. http://www.scarleteen.com/article/crisis/all_about_abortion

I know how scary it is, but trust me, an unwanted pregnancy doesn't have to be the end of the world, even though I know it feels like it is. With medical abortion, you can just take a pill and all will be back to normal again for Suzy [Smile] Or, you can choose a surgical abortion and have one of the safest surgical proceedures there are. You have us here at Scarleteen, if you do need an early abortion, you can so do this!

Here is the website for Planned Parenthood in Virginia - http://www.plannedparenthood.org/virginia-league/ - you can hopefully reassure yourself that if you do need an abortion, the people will be friendly and kind, mistake-forgiving and may operate on what's called a 'sliding scale' - meaning that they will only change you based on what money you actually have.

We'll sort this out Suzy, whatever that test says. You can do it. Let me know what it says, I'll be waiting with an action plan [Smile] x

[ 10-03-2011, 01:58 PM: Message edited by: RaeRay2112 ]

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SuzyJacuzzi
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Okay so I just went to the Planned Parenthood here and got a test - negative! I feel so relieved and I think it's definitely time to dump that guy and start over.

Thanks so much for all of your support, it really gave me the courage to just go in and get tested. [Smile]

Posts: 7 | From: Italy | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
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YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! Happy to help, so pleased it's all okay! [Smile]

Good idea with the guy, although maybe have a look at different kinds of contraception that could interest you, perhaps as back-ups to condoms? Here's a cool link: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/birth_control_bingo

--------------------
'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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