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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » No big deal in kissing

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Author Topic: No big deal in kissing
Nea21
Activist
Member # 58449

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My boyfriend and i are in long distance relationship since past two years.so we generally meet once every two months or so. Since last few months he has been telling me that he doesnt feel anything when we kiss or Smooch.we do have great physical relationship.but he feels that there is no passion in our kiss.but i dont feel anything like that.i feel that our kiss is really great and still has a passion.does that mean that i am a bad kisser??what should i do so that he can feel the passion in our kiss??
Posts: 107 | From: Mumbai | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Loving With Lust
Neophyte
Member # 72574

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Hmm... Have does he mean he is not getting aroused or that he needs something else? Ask him about it. Get his ideas on kissing and try to improve. There is not harm in discussing and your relationship will become better by discussing things that bother you or you feel good about.

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Δεν γίνεται ζωή χωρίς άνδρες. ~Χάρις Αλεξίου

Posts: 8 | Registered: Jul 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
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It may be that kissing is just not for him. Not everyone finds it arousing or exciting. Does he seem like he doesn't enjoy kissing in general?

You can't be a bad kisser, if you're enjoying it, it is probably coming naturally to you. If you're enjoying kissing too, it will seem passionate, because it feels passionate to you. However, it may become something that is a no-go area if he doesn't want to do it; he may prefer other things like kissing your forehead for example. Or maybe he would prefer other things first, like you kissing his neck before kissing his lips? Communication is the key, and if he doesn't know how to explain it, perhaps you could ask it kissing is too quick or slow for him? However, remember that what you like in kissing is important too; maybe you could have times when the kisses are about you and times when the kisses are about him?

You can't really do anything to ensure he can 'feel' an emotion- like passion- through kissing. Believing that it feels like there is no passion is just how he sees it. Do you think it's a good idea to have a talk with him about what his expectations of kissing are and how he thinks it feels when it is passionate? Maybe ask him why he feels like there is no passion, and tell him that you do think it is passionate, because you feel passionate when you engage in kissing? You feel passionate about it, so your actions - the kisses - must show you feel that emotion, does that make sense?

[ 07-27-2011, 05:04 AM: Message edited by: RaeRay2112 ]

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nea21
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Member # 58449

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Ya he does get aroused by kissing on lips.i will try to talk to him and do different things first.. Thanks to both of you.
Posts: 107 | From: Mumbai | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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