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Author Topic: I feel bad after
alwaysandalways
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HI I'm Maybeth and I am 13 years old!

Last night I tried masturbating. It felt realy really good but I felt so much shame after [Frown]

I think what I am doing is wrong and sinful! But I really liked it [Frown]

Posts: 12 | From: Utah | Registered: Jul 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
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Welcome to Scarleteen! [Smile]

Can you fill me in a bit more on why you think it's wrong to masturbate?

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5728 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alwaysandalways
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Well, because God said it is nopt a good thing to do. I feel really alone on this topic. I don't know anyone else my age on this forum [Frown]
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Karybu
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There are a LOT of people on this forum, so I can pretty much guarantee you're not the only one your age. To boot, you definitely aren't the only one (of any age) questioning whether masturbation is an okay thing to do or not.

I personally don't believe in a god, so I can't speak to whether masturbating is all right from that point of view. But what I can say is that the vast majority of people in the world do masturbate, and that it's a very normal human thing to do. There's even evidence that fetuses in the uterus masturbate!

Have you seen this piece yet? Is Masturbation Okay? (Yep.) It may help you in figuring all this out.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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alwaysandalways
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I feel bad because I look at women and men having sex. I feel like I sholuldn't look at those images
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Karybu
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That's also very, very normal and something plenty of people do. But, if it's not something you personally feel comfortable doing, you can always stop. However, you might want to put some thought into whether you feel it's wrong because other people have told you it's wrong, or because you, yourself, have decided that it feels wrong for you in your life, with your unique sexuality.

Does that make sense?

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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alwaysandalways
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yes it does. I jujst don't understand why i like to look at boobs and penis sorry to talk like that. I mean i get'turned' on by stuff like that
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Karybu
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That's perfectly fine language to use: there's nothing "dirty" about talking about body parts. It's also totally normal to get turned on by those body parts; that's part of human sexuality.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Jill2000Plus
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I'm an atheist, and I have zero patience for this religion-as-a-justification-for-sexual-repression stuff for this reason:

TRIGGER WARNING


I'm someone who suffers from intrusive thoughts, my brain tells me that I am a worthless slutty whore for masturbating and that I deserve to have my clitoris cut off and go to hell because I do it, and this is all because of religious conditioning I recieved in childhood, and I have been trying for years to overcome that conditioning but I suspect I have some sort of anxiety disorder (I do have ADHD and Aspergers Syndrome) and seriously, when people say this kind of stuff I start shaking and crying, I fail to see why anyone would want to put someone through what I'm going through, which is what religious teachings that prohibit masturbation/premarital sex/contraception/abortion/homosexuality/bisexuality/transgender/otherwise non binary or unconventional gender expression or endorse medically unnecessary genital alterations performed on the non-consenting are intended to do - paralyse people with guilt and shame and fear so they live lives of misery, to try and make people believe that pleasure is wrong and will lead to the downfall of society, the people who made these rules made them because they were either intensely ignorant, intensely cruel (begrudging others happiness) or both, and I can't see how anyone who loves someone can tell them that they shouldn't experience pleasure from their own body, whether the being doing the telling is a god or a human. If you love someone, you do not deny them the right to ownership of their own body, or otherwise attempt to restrict their autonomy arbitrarily, you do not torment them with endless lectures on how wrong it is for them to enjoy themselves or experience pleasure.

[ 07-18-2011, 08:01 AM: Message edited by: Jill2000Plus ]

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Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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Jill2000Plus
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I also want to add that these attitudes tend to be intertwined with a victim-blaming attitude when it comes to rape and sexual assault.

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Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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Johann7
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I agree with Karybu on this: I think it's a good idea to look at whether whether you feel guilty about masturbating, or looking at images of breasts and penises, or even talking about body parts because YOU think it's bad or because other people have told you that you SHOULD think that it's bad. Most people on the planet masturbate, and most people use and are sexually aroused by some kind of erotic media (whether it's photographs, drawings, paintings, videos, stories, sculptures, spoken words, singing, or even thoughts).

You say:
quote:
Well, because God said it is nopt a good thing to do.
While many people are raised with one specific view of God, there are many, many religions across the entire human population, and even two people who go to the exact same church are going to have slightly different ideas about their religion and God. Because of this, I think the best thing you can do is to try to figure out exactly what YOU believe about God and what makes sense to YOU. With masturbation, for example, have you personally experienced anything that suggests to you that God thinks it's bad? It's not physically harmful, and we all have a right to decide what we're going to do with our own bodies (not our church or even our parents), so if you haven't, you might want to ask God directly what He/She/It/They thinks about masturbation, in whatever way you think is best. People, even religious leaders, can sometimes have their own prejudices and biases that influence what they believe, and what's true for one person might not be true for another.

I'm not necessarily saying that what people might have told you about God is wrong, but I do very much believe that that's something you get to decide for yourself. From my personal perspective, I think there is nothing wrong with masturbation or with looking at breasts and penises (although, given your age and location, you should be aware that it could be against the law for you to look at photographs or even illustrations that are considered "pornography") or with feeling 'turned on' by doing so, as these are perfectly normal, natural things for a lot of people.

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Robble Robble Robble!

Posts: 46 | From: Milwaukee, WI USA | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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