Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Will my girlfriend get herpes if I have it

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Will my girlfriend get herpes if I have it
Member # 62155

Icon 1 posted      Profile for xxKristii17     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
We have been together for 6 months and since then we have been sexually active with one another.

She was tested for herpes before we got together (all her exes had HSV-1) and she was negative for it. Her mother is prone to cold sores due to a disease she has and my girlfriend has kissed her numerous times WHEN she had an outbreak of oral herpes. *Along with her exes as well.*

I am worried because we have done oral on one another (when there is no signs or early symptoms of an outbreak) and I do not want her to get the Virus. Do not read this wrong, I did not WILLINGLY act on wanting her to contract the Virus; I didn't have an outbreak for most of my teen and child years which lead me to forgetting I had HSV-1 (thought I was negative of every STI since I contracted when I was young *ex; kissing a relative* and did not know what HSV-1 was at the time) until a recent outbreak, the second one in my life, over a month or two ago.

We did not use condoms because I thought I was negative but now I am feeling horrible knowing I put her through this. I never thought you could contract an STI at such a young age and feel so dirty for having something like it; I never asked to have this, and now my girlfriend may have it too.. I'm such a horrible, idiotic girlfriend. [Frown]

I love you Steph. <3

Posts: 53 | From: Halifax | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Like I've explained to you in a different thread, there's really no predicting who will or will not contract a given infection and when it will happen if someone does.

Your girlfriend's best bet is to talk to her doctor about this, and same goes for you. That said, if she grew up in a household with someone with HSV-1, and has had other partners with it in the past and didn't contract it (I'm assuming she's been explicitly tested for it to know that?), then it may well be she built up an immunity to it and will not be likely to acquire it. But no one can really make a sound prediction like that, because infectious disease just isn't that simple.

I don't see a reason to feel crummy about this, or about not having practiced safer sex in the past. (Also, know that with HSV-1, the most common way people get it is usually through nonsexual exposure in childhood.) However, now you do know, and to boot, this isn't the only infection out there, so going without safer sex practices with sex partners is never a sound thing to do in our world. Instead, what's ideal and what does the best job at protecting people's health is for partners to practice safer sex with barriers for the first six months of a relationship, then each get a new round of tests for all STIs, and if those are all negative, and both partners have been sexually exclusive that whole time and will remain so, THAT is when ditching barriers is likely a pretty safe thing to do.

And if and when those screens don't come back all negative, and someone has something like HSV that can't be treated (and made to go away), then that person and their partner(s) want to have talks about how they want to manage that risk, and get any extra info they need about managing the risks and the infection from their healthcare provider.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3