Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Mind/body divide?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Mind/body divide?
wordnerd25
Neophyte
Member # 58644

Icon 1 posted      Profile for wordnerd25     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi. I'm a nineteen-year-old female, and I masturbate routinely--I'm able to bring myself to orgasm pretty consistently. However, it always seems like a physical/mechanical act rather than a mental one--like, I could be thinking about the weather, or taking my dog for a walk, or whatever and it would be no different from thinking about a sexual fantasy. I keep reading that "the biggest sex organ is the brain" and all, but my brain doesn't seem to be much involved. Fantasy, porn, erotica, etc. just don't turn me on, though I've sampled various kinds. I think maybe that could be contributing to my lack of sexual satisfaction...I feel like my orgasms would probably be better if I felt like my body was connected to my mind. Is there something wrong with me? How do I figure out how to turn myself on, mentally?
Posts: 29 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Setting aside porn and erotica, material other people made: when it comes to what's in your mind fantasy-wise (and in general), do you feel like you're following your own thoughts and groove, or trying to kind of dial up what you think you should find exciting or have heard other people do?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wordnerd25
Neophyte
Member # 58644

Icon 1 posted      Profile for wordnerd25     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I do feel like I'm following my own thoughts, but nothing I can come up with is really working. Nothing I think of really gives me any more sexual pleasure than thinking about food or music or Cartesian philosophy.
Posts: 29 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I know it might seem like a silly question, but are those things arousing to you? I ask that because there's really nothing to say they won't be or shouldn't be, or that, if they are, something else should be more so.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wordnerd25
Neophyte
Member # 58644

Icon 1 posted      Profile for wordnerd25     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Haha, no. They're not arousing to me. I was just using them as examples of random things to think about.
Posts: 29 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I was checking because they very well could be: all of those things are potentially sensual (though I think it's safe to say Descartes probably got off more on his philosophy than anyone else probably does).

One thing to know is that you can be very sure your brain is involved: without it, you wouldn't feel a darn thing in your body from what you're doing, and wouldn't even feel the urge to masturbate in the first place. When people talk about the brain being the biggest sexual organ, what they mean is that it's the real driver and conduit for sexuality, not that sexuality is all about thought.

It's so tough to try and figure what might be different if we were different, so this is a toughie. That said, sexuality is fluid and shifts and evolves all throughout life. So maybe, at this stage of the game, you just haven't yet experienced sexual fantasy or discovered what turns you on intellectually or emotionally as much as you have with the physical/mechanical aspects. That's okay, and there's really no way to force that. The best you can really do is just be where you are now, and go with the flow with whatever you are thinking about, staying open to new ideas or feelings.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3