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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Fingering in vagina..

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Author Topic: Fingering in vagina..
Nea21
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I am a virgin.whenever my boyfriend fingers me in vagina it doesnt give me much pleasure..but when he touches my Clitoris i get extremely aroused..but he always wants to insert his finger in my vagina,which slightly hurts.what should i do so as i get pleasure by his fingering in vagina??

[ 03-15-2011, 12:59 AM: Message edited by: Nea21 ]

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Nea21
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Someone please reply..
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skiesofgreen
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Hey Nea21,

Just so you know it takes a little while for the volunteers to get to posts sometimes so unless it's been a day or two they probably just haven't gotten a chance to get around to your question yet. =)

That said it's not surprising that you feel more pleasure from your boyfriend touching your clitoris than when he puts his fingers in your vagina, mainly because there just aren't as many nerve endings in your vagina.

I'm adding an article here for you to look at about sexual pleasure. It's a pretty big one though so while I'd recommend reading all of it, just looking over the stuff that's relevant right now (clitoris, vagina, etc.) might be helpful:

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/with_pleasure_a_view_of_whole_sexual_anatomy_for_every_body

As far as pain with inserting his finger, are you feeling very comfortable when this is happening? relaxed? and using lots of lubricant?

Also I think it would help to remember that sex isn't about one person acting out what that one person wants, but rather about two people mutually want and feel good about. So if him inserting his fingers into your vagina is not something you feel good about right now you absolutely don't have to.

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Nea21
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I had never used any lubricant..and yes when he tries inserts finger it hurts me.i do not get pleasure but it only hurts..and when he insert his finger it doesnt go much inside it goes hardly half inch or so..is it because i never had intercourse before??
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amezcua
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do you like it when he puts it in or does it just hurts...how old are you??? and why dont you guys consider oral sex feels much better

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*baybegurl*

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Carpe Diem
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If you don't like the way it feels, then I would just refrain from doing and only engage in acts that you enjoy.
You said he always wants to insert his finger into your vagina, have you talked to him about the fact that you don't get pleasure from this and would prefer if he just stimulated your external vulva?

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"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain."
-Joseph Campbell

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Nea21
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I am 21 years old..and yes we have tried oral sex and it feels good..but he thinks i may be liking his fingering because at times i fake as if i had orgasm..i never told him that i dont like inside vagina,i like it only if he rubs my clit..should i tell him so?? But he will get disappoint with me if i tell him the truth..
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skiesofgreen
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I would definitely recommend telling him that you aren't enjoying having him finger you. Being honest and open in our relationships is so very important. He has little way of knowing what you do and do not enjoy unless you clue him into it, and if you have been faking enjoyment he may simply have no idea that you're uncomfortable.

I know you've had a lot of reading material thrown your way lately but this article I'm attaching might give you some good ideas for getting that conversation started (and also talks about why communication is so important):

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/be_a_blabbermouth_the_whys_whats_and_hows_of_talking_about_sex_with_a_partner

As for his finger not inserting very far and you feeling pain, this probably has very little to do with you not having had intercourse and a lot more to do with you not feeling relaxed and comfortable with what's going on, and also not using lubricant. If you want I could also give you a link to an article that could walk you through this a bit more. Would you find that helpful?

Also? I think any healthy partner should be receptive to what we do and do not enjoy. They should care about doing things that feel good for everyone involved. In other words, if he reacts badly to you trying to make things feel better, than does he really sound like a healthy, caring partner to be with?

[ 03-16-2011, 12:12 AM: Message edited by: skiesofgreen ]

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Nea21
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I would be really glad if you give me that link you are talking about..thanks a lot
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skiesofgreen
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Here you go. Hope it's helpful =)

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/pink/from_ow_to_wow_demystifying_painful_intercourse

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Nea21
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Hey thanks that was really helpful:-)
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