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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » I am a sexually fustrated teenage girl

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Author Topic: I am a sexually fustrated teenage girl
lightningrays
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I've always been a quiet/ shy girl; I'm 16, I've only had 2 boyfriends so far, neither lasted for more than 5 months. I'm a virgin. I feel a bit pathetic, I haven't even kissed anyone since I was 14! I do masturbate, but I want something more! I feel that because I've been holding in all these feelings about sex for so long, I'm going to explode any second. I do want to wait to have sex with a guy (or maybe girl) I like, but I haven't liked anyone for a while. Everyone thinks i'm a prudish type girl who sits in my room all day reading. What should I do? I'm at my wits end! I feel like sex is something I need to do now, or else I won't feel fufilled with just masturbation anymore.(Is that a bad way to think?)
Posts: 5 | From: nola | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
breath
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maybe you can upgrading your masterbation...some vibrators etc ?
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breath
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try*
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lightningrays
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I don't have any... too young :/
Posts: 5 | From: nola | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
breath
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I can completely understand your sexual frustrations and commend you for having the courage to come here and talk about it. It shows to me that how active you are! [Smile]

While I may not understand all the dynamics that may prevent you from getting a vibrator, to the best of my knowledge, there is nothing about a vibrator that has any age limits on it. It's fairly safe way to have sex and learn about your responses and desires.

Have you read this article: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/10_of_the_best_things_you_can_do_for_your_sexual_self_at_any_age

It helped me a lot and opened my eyes. Also, I'm 22 going on 23 in a few days, and didn't kiss ANYONE until I was 22! I have not had any strong boyfriend relationships. I consider myself to be pretty, smart and a good person. Sometimes, we are wonderful people but the timing isn't right or we are not just meeting the right kind of partner. However, I don't have to wait until I have a relationship to explore and accept my sexual self.

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LifeEnColor
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Heya. I know exactly how you feel because I went through it too. I'm 18 and my first kiss was when I was 16...and then I didn't even so much as hug a guy in a more-than-friends way until I was 18. Yup. Only "sexual" encounter all throughout high school was a quick and awkward kiss. I felt frustrated like you and wished I could 'man up' and get the courage to talk to more people instead of sitting in class quietly reading a book. But please, please, PLEASE don't think you need to rush into sex! With all the different kinds of things you can try with masturbation, I highly doubt that it will ever stop pleasing you enough for you to think that sex is the only way to go from there.

I only had one crush in high school, so don't feel bad about not liking anyone. That just means you haven't met anyone yet that can really push your buttons, in a good way. [Smile] Never settle when it comes to relationships and the like. You deserve the absolute best and happiest you can be, always!

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MY OWN LOVER
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I am really fusrated.I am only thirteen and I masturbate.People in school talks about having sex and I just want to try it.My family tells me that the family rule is not to have sex out of wedlock.I dont know what I should do!!!!!!

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it is good for teens to learn about this stuff

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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My OWN LOVER: have you taken a look at these?

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/im_13_and_totally_sure_im_ready_for_sex
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/more_than_a_few_words_on_being_13_and_100_ready_for_sex

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MY OWN LOVER
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I have thought about this for a while and I told myself that I need to focus on getting my education and to try not to have sex until I am married.It is so hard not to think about sex because stuff about sex is all around us these days.I understand that I am not emotionally ready for sex.This is why I masturbate.Somtimes I feel guilty for doing that though.I dont know why.I need some god advice on this:|

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it is good for teens to learn about this stuff

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Heather
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Advice on feeling guilty about masturbation?

If so, can you maybe explain to me why you think you feel guilty about it?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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MY OWN LOVER
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Because masturbation is a form of sexual pleasure.Some members of my family says that yu shouldnt have any sexual pleasure until a certain time.I somtimes think tha i should tell them that this i my life and my body.It is not like I have sex or that I like anal masturbation.In my family anal masturbation is a form of sex.If you masturbate analy you are not a virgin:(

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it is good for teens to learn about this stuff

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Karybu
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That's a lot of negative messaging you've gotten around sex and pleasure: it's not surprising you feel guilty about masturbation if that's mostly what you've been told about it.

Have you seen these articles? They might help you clarify your own values around this (as opposed to the values of your family) and we can talk some more after you've read them.

Is Masturbation Okay? (Yep.)
Magical Cups & Bloody Brides: Virginity in Context

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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MY OWN LOVER
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Another reason why I feel guilty is because I am only thirteen and I masturbate.

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it is good for teens to learn about this stuff

Posts: 13 | From: Virginia Beach | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Know what? There have been ultrasound images which show fetuses masturbating in utero.

It's actually very common for infants and children to masturbate, most of us just don't remember doing so. But it happens all the time, so the idea that 13 is early for masturbation isn't sound. It's actually very typical for people both your age and much younger to masturbate, even if the motivations for doing so, or the awareness of what it is, are not all the same.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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MY OWN LOVER
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Thankyou for chating with me:)
You made me feel better about myself masturbating.Most of the reasons why I felt guilty about masurbating is because of what my family has told me.Like not having sexual pleasure until I am an adult and things like that.

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it is good for teens to learn about this stuff

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Sounds like your family perhaps is either just a) uneducated about how sexuality and pleasure are things that are a part of our whole lives, even if we don't seek them out or b) may have some of their own baggage around sexuality they're putting on you.

That's the case with a lot of people (both those things). It sometimes helps to remember that most people, especially older people, didn't get good sex education or any at all, so often just don't know this stuff.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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MY OWN LOVER
Neophyte
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I think that they are putting some of their own baggage about sexuality on me.It is kind of fustrating when they are telling me how to run my own sex life.I would like to tell them that I will run my sex life the way that I want to run it.It is not like I am having sex even though I wanted to try it.

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it is good for teens to learn about this stuff

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gleestar
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I'm 13 and I marsbate =)
I understand why people feel guilty about it - but i got over that. Me and my guidence councler talked about it and she said that its good because it will stop me from going to 'far' with my boyfrined.
its just one of those things =P

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lightningrays
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I was young when I started to masturbate, I felt extremely guilty as well, but I got over it pretty quickly [Smile]
Posts: 5 | From: nola | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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