Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Desire, arousal & orgasm: get the diff?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Desire, arousal & orgasm: get the diff?
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Just figured I'd put this out there, since it's been coming up more lately.

It's not a new confusion, by any means, but it has been more prevalent around here these days. For example, someone having troubles with desire (or sex drive, or libido) may say they're having troubles with orgasm or arousal, and they might well be, but not reaching orgasm, for instance, doesn't mean someone isn't feeling desire. And not feeling any desire often means not feeling very aroused or reaching orgasm, so looking for ways to touch oneself or others to make orgasm happen probably won't help, since desire is the issue to tend to first.

So, does everyone get the difference between those three things when it comes to sex? By all means, we can't usually totally separate them, but they are very different.

If it's hazy for you, want to fill me in a little and see if we can't help make this more clear?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pixiie
Activist
Member # 53705

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Pixiie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
okay so desire is the want for sex or sexual encounter AKA libido and arousal is basically being turned on and your body preparing for a sexual encounter and orgasm is the great end result ...i have a question how is it possible for someone to have the strongest desire for stimulation of any kind but not be able to get aroused weather its with another person or by yourself? shouldn't it be it the desire is there and strong your body would automatically reach full arousal its as if your body isn't on the same page with itself

--------------------
Pixiee

Posts: 59 | From: brooklyn | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, desire and libido are pretty similar: both of those terms, in a sexual context, are about people feeling a desire for sex (however they experience and define that).

Arousal, on the other hand, is about feeling mentally and physically turned on.

So, can people feel desire and yet have trouble experiencing arousal? Yes. And I'd not say that because desire is there, we should expect arousal to occur.

Whether or not we experience arousal, when desire is there, depends on a whole lot of things and there can be a whole lot of factors: like if we feel comfortable with our bodies and sexualities, with those of anyone else involved, if we're doing things that DO turn us on, mentally and physically, like if we have any shame or guilt that are barriers, if we have any physical issues that are -- like some kinds of illness, depression, the impact of some medications, etc. -- the works.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3