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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » stop calling it that

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Author Topic: stop calling it that
badgercat12
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I don't know about anyone else but I hate it when people refer to having sex as effing. I find it so crash. I have a friend and the other day she kept asking me who I was effing or ef this and ef that, talking about sex. I know a lot of people do this and whenever I mention it someone always rolls their eyes and acts like i'm a huge prude. It just bugs me. I'm not sure if anyone else feels this way.
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badgercat12
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sorry i ment to post this in body and soul!
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September
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How we like to refer to sex is pretty individual, and can vary based on the person, as well as how that person feels about the sex they're having. Based on the setting and context, sometimes someone might like to talk simply about "having sex", someone else may like to refer to it as "making love", and someone else again might like to talk about "f*cking".

If you aren't comfortable with one particular term, then you get to chose not to use it. And you can also ask your friend not to use it when talking about you. But if she likes to refer to the sex she's having as "f*cking", then that's her choice to do that.

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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coralee
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I actually like calling sex "f***ing". As I have been in unhealthy relationships in the past, calling it that feels empowering to me, cheesy though that sounds. I would totally understand, though, if someone told me not to use that word when I was talking to them.
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LovingMrNiceguy
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I actually prefer "f*cking" to "having sex", because for me sex isn't something a person has, like dinner, lol. It's a primal act, one performed with the sensibilities of our ancestral selves, not the internet-using, wine-drinking high-class brain parts. A form of decadent art, drawing it's power from chaos and irregularity.

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I am a no-nonsense kind of guy.

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Atonement
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I had to put this in as an interesting note.

According to my high school English teacher, the reason we have no direct verb in the English language for "to have sex" is because F*** actually used to be the proper word for it, but that Queen Victoria declared it "improper" during her reign.

Unfortunately, I cannot verify this story (since, as it turns out, if you type the word F*** into google, you come up with a bunch of porn sites), but she has never been known to give inaccurate information before, so I'm willing to take her word on it.

And yes, I did have an unbelievably awesome and informative English teacher.

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Heather
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I had never heard that before!

However, we do have a direct verb per intercourse, if that's what we're talking about here: copulate. It just isn't one that many people seem to want to use when they want to express a desire to do so. [Smile]

We also do have verbs for other kinds of sex, too. For instance, to fellate is to give someone fellatio.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Atonement
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I'm so using that next time!

Me: "Would you like to copulate?"

Guy: "What???"

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September
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Heh. Reminds me of Big Bang Theory, and Sheldon's insistence on talking about coitus, which confuses the heck out of everyone else. [Smile]

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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mizchastain
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For some reason I'm reminded of "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time", in which the autistic (opinions vary on how close to the mark the writer was, but he meant it to be autism) protagonist occasionally uses unusual turns of phrase, and he talks about "doing sex" instead of "having sex".
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Heather
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LOVED THAT BOOK.

(Sorry about the caps, I just loved it so much.)

A lot of sex educators, actually, use "doing sex" instead of having as a phrase, too. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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mizchastain
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The way I see it, that does make more grammatical sense, as "sex" is more of an action than an object. It just sounds a little odd when you're used to saying it the usual way.
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gleestar
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I kinda have that problem only, in a difrent way. I don't like it when people use the words 'f**' 'bang' or even some times just people calling it sex...
I'm ok when it is written but its mostly when we have PHSCE in school. I normaly use the word 'it' as it seems... easyer but my teacher goes 'use the real word maddie' and I just get REALLY uncomftible.
though I'm geussing I'm younger that you =P

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