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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Planning the First Time

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Author Topic: Planning the First Time
Member # 47955

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Hello all,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now, and we are planning to have intercourse for the first time when I come home from college during Thanksgiving break. We've talked about it a lot beforehand, done a lot of looking around on Scarleteen for articles, I'll be starting on the patch in a week or so, and we are going to be using condoms as well (and we have lube, so no worries there [Wink] ). We've also started thinking about the logistics of our first time, since both our houses usually will have a parent home, and we'd like to not have to worry about being walked in on.

Is there anything else that you would recommend we discuss as a couple? What sort of things do you wish you and your (first or otherwise) partner had talked about before you had sex? I feel like we're pretty well prepared (two birth control methods, privacy issues, lube, reading the articles here about first times...) but if we're missing anything, I'd love to know what!


Posts: 101 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Natalie H
Member # 48229

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Well it's great to know that you and him are preparing so thoroughly to be protected!
The only thing I can think to tell you is, while you may be completely ready for the physical act, just make sure you're both emotionally ready too. If so, I think you're good to go!

Bicycle? I prefer a homocycle.

Posts: 118 | From: Houston | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 49077

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Hi Tashi,

Congratulations! It sounds you have done your homework well and you are prepared!

One of my best suggestions to discuss together ahead of time, if you haven’t already, is your desires of that moment; focusing on the intimacy of the moment being the highlight! With this in mind, what you would like to do ahead of that time; a romantic early dinner or late lunch, possibly a nice hotel room (for long, undisturbed privacy without a deadline). Is there anything either of you would like during that time leading up to that moment? Remember, it is about the whole occasion and not just the one event! [Wink]
Most of all Relax and Enjoy Each Other! [Big Grin]


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Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

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I also always suggest to make room in your plannings for the fact that you might end up not wanting/being able to have intercourse at the particular time you plan to do it; maybe one or both of you just aren't feeling it enough, maybe one of you changes your mind about readiness, maybe something just comes up and you don't get the chance. That's an issue I find people sometimes have; they feel that since they've planned it, they've got to do it even if they just aren't feeling aroused at that particular time or something.

Planning with that in mind can help you keep the pressure off yourselves when the time does come; knowing that you're totally able to back out of it if you want to for any reason. It also means you probably won't be disappointed if it doesn't work out on the day you've planned; because you've stayed aware that that is a possibility and it's no biggie. Other than that I'd say you seem really prepared for this, and I hope you guys have lots of fun [Smile]

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Member # 49077

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I just want to say that I agree with Onionpie too. Planning can be wonderful, but be prepared and understanding if it doesn’t work. Since you both are very ready for this; being caught up in the passion of the moment is very wonderful too!

Follow your hearts and it will lead you down the true path!


Posts: 842 | From: Ohio | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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